User post: Is it Just Me, or is Finding a Date Really Supposed to Happen in the Produce Dept?

As a single mother woman for the last 11 years, I now find myself in a quandry.  I've heard the lame quotes that are enough to make me want to go out and expose myself to some flu bug so I can stay in bed for years, and I am not sure I can take much more.  I have spent the last 11 years reading and becoming the person I am finally becoming happy with.  I've read many self help books on many topics and have learned a lot and am grateful for the knowledge.  Now, what do I do with all that knowledge??  I'd like to date, but isn't that just fruit with a big ole pit inside?

I have been told by books and people, usually married ones, all these things, and others too numerous to list here.  Feel free to feel as confused as I do.

You will meet 'HIM' when you least expect it.  Don't 'LOOK' for 'HIM' let him find you.  Yet, always expect the best, and you are what you think. Your dreams will come true if you work at them and make them happen.  You are a beautiful woman, don't let anyone tell you different.  Good things come to those who wait.  Go out and let people know you are there, stay away from bars, nightclubs and any other place where men are cuz they're only there to look for sleazy women.  Take up a hobby and there is where you'll meet someone....(well, I like to quilt and do scrapbooking and I've signed up for classes....uh....no men signed up, go figure).  I decided not to go door to door on my own and meet the good guys who stay home, as that stalker law and restraining order thing sort of detered me. 

So now armed with all that info, let me see if I have this correct.  I shouldn't expect anything yet if I don't have hope and expect good things to happen to me then they won't, yet I can't leave the house every day expecting to find a good man to share my life with even though I have the dream that one day that would happen, yet, don't expect it so stop dreaming, but you are what you dream.  Dont look desperate, but dress to meet someone, but don't think you will or you'll look like you're setting him up and he won't like that.  Phew.....I'm beat, I don't know about you.  So you shouldn't expect your dreams to come true and shouldn't go searching for them yet you should always dream and make them happen.  Ok, is it just me or is this just all a way to make women even more confused than they already are when it comes to meeting a man?

I am thirty pounds overweight and I am working on that, yet I should be happy with who I am and not worry about it, even when every man I've either written to or spoken to on the phone or in person in the last month have said to me.....I don't date women who are overweight, I like a woman with a perfect figure and in great shape.  Yet, they are balding, overweight themselves, make awful sounds in public and don't have any tolerance for anything they can't control or have their way.  Granted, this is not the man for me, I know that, and I'm happy for that, as I don't want shallow, but I think, wow, if I'm supposed to dream and have hope, and this is what is being offered, then maybe I SHOULD stop dreaming and stop expecting anything and just resign myself to being single and alone.  Yet....you guessed it....I don't want to be alone.  I'd like more than anything to find a nice man who is as drama free as I am, easy to get along with, nice to have a conversation with yet wants to have his 'man' time so I can do the things I like to do alone like, scrapbooking, or reading or writing.  Someone to go to a movie with and then talk about it later.  Someone to cook a fun meal in the kitchen with and have fun tasting the new things we make.  Someone who I can lean on when I'm in pain this week from having had foot surgery and just need a hug, not whining, but it's hard being 'tough' and 'sucking it up' all the time by myself.  I'd like to be able to give to someone as well, share ideas, work on projects together, have pillow fights, water fights and make my stomach hurt from laughing like I've not laughed in a long time.  Oh wait, I can't think all this, cuz that would mean I was dreaming, and the dream would come true, and I can't expect that cuz if I do I'll look desperate and lonely and I can't let a man see that so I need to act all hard and cold and unneedy and detached so that way I am not expecting any of my dreams to come true. 

This is just way too hard for me to figure out.  Guess I'll just go read a book and forget about my dreams and read all about other people's dreams coming true and pretend that I'm the heroine for an hour and then go to bed and get up tomorrow and not expect anything...or wait, should I expect...no, not supposed to, and don't dream either whatever you do..I threw away my dream catcher, as I want them all flying out the window so as not to remember what the dream was that I was suppose to go after...phew...forget the book, I'm just going to go to bed.......alone.  Well, that's after I use my new blender I bought me so I can make smoothies at home and not have to go to the smoothie store with all the super thin blonde blue eyed babes and their men hanging all over them and them looking at me like, geez, no wonder she doesn't have anyone, she's getting ANOTHER smoothie and those things make you gain weight..(like they really HAVE a super thin bimbo menu and a overweight loser menu....even I know that....sheesh....)..kissy kissy, giggle giggle.