So a little history first...my bf and I have been together for
three years officially, sure we have had our ups and downs but we
have stayed together this whole time and have a good relationship.I
trust him with all my heart I really do, which brings me to my
question. What do you think of my bf saying on next Friday he
wanted to go to his friend (his bests friends) house to go out to a
bar and whatever and that he would probably sleep there, as they
would all be drinking. Now he also doesnt have a car by the way.
Now I am 22 & he is 27, we have lived together for the past 2
years. Call me old fashioned but I just think there's no reason
why he can't go out and have a good time and then come later
that night. So should I tell him to go have a good time, or tell
him I don't want him to go???
UPDATE: to all those responding thanks. I guess i should explain
more...i DO NOT think he is going to cheat. this is not what this
is about at all. First he is 27 and he has no car because we are
fine with one. He works close to his job (in walking distance
even), i do not support him. We split the rent 50/50 and he pays
all other utilites/bills. I do trust him, and i trust the
friend's house that hes going to ( which is a guy BTW). I
wouldnt care even if they were going to a strip club even, but
thats not really my bf's thing, so they (a group of guys) will
head to a bar play pool/drink a little and head back to his friends
house where he will be recording. My thing is i DO NOT MIND 100%
him going, i do not care what time he comes in, only i do not think
it is 'morally or eithically' right for two people in a
comminted relationship to not come home to your partner to your
bed. I feel I may be being selfish thinking this way but i dont
think he will cheat at all(if he was going to i know if doesnt
matter when or where).
User post: Is it okay for your boyfriend to spend the night at his friend's house?
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:24am PDT
Report AbuseYou have mentioned that you trust him, so I do not see a problem letting him stay with his best friend - guy or girl. However, if you suspect that he is up to no good, then, you are not addressing some inherent problem within the relationship. I have never said No to my bf when he wants to hang out with his friends – male or female. But then again, he has never given me a reason to not trust him.
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:25am PDT
Report AbuseHe sounds like a resposible person. Lighten up, let him have fun. What are you, co-dependent?
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:26am PDT
Report Abuseyeah, hes just a boyfriend not your husband , release the bugger and see what he does.Rather when its within wedlock then its more hurting.
Boys will be boys but once weded then u have to save ur marriage.Boyfriend stuff is just step in the process if ur hooked youll be damned bored on the eve of your wedding .it wont show yet but the signs were already there and u refused to acknowledge it.
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:27am PDT
Report AbuseI agree with SungJ (above). You are saying "old-fashioned" but I believe it's a little jealousy as well. I know that the two of you are in love, you've been living with him & you say you trust him... But if you really did trust him... Then why are you asking the question in the first place??? If you truly TRUST him... Drop it, let him have a fun, safe night out and tell him you'll see him on Saturday morning and if he's home by 9am, you'll have breakfast ready for him~
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:32am PDT
Report AbuseHe's on the slippery slope to full blown cheating. Two years is a long time for a man... Like you, love you, he is subject to the media avalanche of porn and sex addict candy... He is on the road to sow his wild oats... He's a sex addict in the making and he is getting tired of you...simple... Get a life of your own or spend the rest of your life hanging around losers...like him... Dump the prig before he gives you diseases...and permanent hatred for loser men...
Sorry to say you have wasted two years of your life to learn a painful lesson and the only way out is to tell him don't bother coming back to your house at all...unless he's paying the rent and has set you up. Oh, and make sure you have a nice, fresh, clean, soft towel to wipe your tears...and, get some great ice cream, too... That's always nice... How about a cat and a hobby? Men are stupid and pointless... Protect yourself!
Jus' sayin'... Be wise, Girl.
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:34am PDT
Report Abuseyeah, hes just a boyfriend not your husband , release the bugger and see what he does.Rather when its within wedlock then its more hurting.
Boys will be boys but once weded then u have to save ur marriage.Boyfriend stuff is just step in the process if ur hooked youll be damned bored on the eve of your wedding .it wont show yet but the signs were already there and u refused to acknowledge it.
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:42am PDT
Report AbuseWhoa Marie!! You seem to have a bit of an issue with men yourself! Just because the guy wants some time out with his friends means he's a sex addict and about to cheat?? Just like Rowdy girl said, He can cheat at anytime if he wants to, not just at night. Usually men are more independent than women, and telling the poster to gain her own hobbies is GREAT advice, but telling her that her bf is going to cheat and that he's a sex addict and she wasted 2 years of her life is just plain irresponsible and wrong!
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:45am PDT
Report AbuseLet him decide what he wants to do and don't bug him about it. He wants a girlfriend not a mother. The more we girls/women nag our men the less they want to be around us. Give him his space and treat him as a loved and respected person, not a possession. You attract more flies with honey than vinegar...
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:04pm PDT
Report Abuselet him go have fun
you will hear all about it tomorrow anyways let him have something he can tell you, like a awesome night out with the boys or group of friends
don't gaol him. give people enough space to hold onto who they are, cos thats why you liked him
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Posted by Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:08pm PDT
Report AbuseHe's just being responsible. Who wants someone to drive home drunk? Better safe then sorry. My bf has his best friend (male) stay over when they go out drinking to have a guys night out, I don't mind because his friend is cool. Usually when they come home from a nights of drinking, I'll be there to stay up all night to entertain them, it's more like they are entertaining me in their drunken state. You should trust him more, a guys night out is just a guys night out. Also, I agree with the others that it seems to me you are leaving something out. Is his bestfriend a female? If his bestfriend is a female, I would have to say no way would I let him stay over there. I would tell him to call me when he's ready for me to pick him up from the bar.
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