User post: Is it right or wrong for a person to use jealousy tactics as a means to fix problems in a relationship?

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  Posted by JoKTM Mon Sep 7, 2009 4:59pm PDT

  I am a woman and I agree with you. When I feel neglected by my husband I tell him and when that doesnt work I write him a letter that he can read when I am not with him and he can read it and contemplate it without rebuttal.

  Read a book called "How to fight Fair" that has much better tips.

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  Posted by jac Mon Sep 7, 2009 9:51pm PDT

  I hate playing games, and if a woman tries that tactic on me, it's just a reason to look elsewhere.

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  Posted by RinaD Mon Sep 7, 2009 10:30pm PDT

  I am a really jealous type of person, and honestly, I hate this attitude of mine because I don't like the feeling of being jealous but I can't avoid it. I tried to make my partner to jealous on me, but it really doesn't work and no effect on him. Very annoying that he seems don't feel jealous at all.

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  Posted by Yolanda Tue Sep 8, 2009 3:18am PDT

  For self all or anykind of mind or jealousy trip or game is sadly wrong.Obviously there are some insecurity issues going on wiith both involved. If I have totry to make my partner jealous to get his attention something is wrong. I'd have to sit down with glass of wine with partner and discuss situation and find a solution that we both can agree upon to fix and work on solving issue. But thats only if your serious and dedicated to relationship to want to make it work. If not I will excuse self and move on. Jealousy is the WORST EMOTION on the planet.

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  Posted by Jaqueline R Tue Sep 8, 2009 7:35am PDT

  Women and men are very different. Women's brain functions totaly different than men. Yes, women tend to play mind games, but I don't think is a good idea since men don't get them and it makes things worse. I believe telling the guy straight up about how you feel is better than mind games. If he does not do anything about it, then we have a serious relationship problem that can end up in infidelity since the woman feels lonely.

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  Posted by Shawn Tue Sep 8, 2009 7:56am PDT

  I disagree that men and women are designed with different brain functionality. IMO, if there are differences, they're society imprinted.

  Also, WOW at all the spam bots on here!

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  Posted by ladybella04 Tue Sep 8, 2009 9:22am PDT

  I am a nice girl, which is probably why I am still single. I think that people should talk about their problems openly and honestly, but maybe that only works in theory. Because every time I have been open and honest about how I feel, it has backfired on me. It would seem that most men are more disgusted by an honest discussion about feelings than by women who act like bitches to impress them. I agree 100% that mind games are not ok, but then again, if I was capable of being a huge, mean, nasty b---- , then I would probably have snagged myself a good man by now. So maybe I will have to switch my strategy and start acting like a crazy b---- until I get my man.

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  Posted by another hockey fan Tue Sep 8, 2009 9:47am PDT

  In a healthy relationship neither partner tries to or has control, power, ongoing jealousy, or desire to act vengeful towards their partner. If you constantly fight or feel hurt by their actions or words then it is not a situation to remain in. It's difficult for me to feel sorry for anyone who chooses to stay with someone or side with them when they want to behave in this manner.

  Sadly, very few relationships are healthy and that's why there is so much neverending drama out there.

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  Posted by opiniononly Tue Sep 8, 2009 10:32am PDT

  Once again, strong and independent = Bitches. When a couple starts playing games to 'teach lessons', it usually means that one person thinks they've won and the other thinks they've lost...when in reality, both people end up losing. What's the point?

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  Posted by 88Gypsy Tue Sep 8, 2009 10:36am PDT

  IMHO, jealousy is a PERSONAL problem not a relationship problem. (Ever notice that jealous people are jealous no matter WHOM they're with?? Think about it.) The bottom line is your insecurity is YOURS and making your partner crazy with your jealousy or playing head games with him is a crappy thing to do.

  I love the ladies who say "if he gets jealous that means he cares"...umm, yeah. I'm going to have to call Bull Sh** on that one. If he gets jealous it really only means he's insecure. (secure people are rarely jealous or possesive)

  And if your feeding into that with mind games instead of offering him reassurance - then you are a crappy girlfriend.

  Games suck. Period. That is all.

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