Love + Sex

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

User post: Romance Killer, or Fact of Married Life?

I’m a traditional kind of gal… one who still believes in ladylike manners, in never burping at the dinner table and certainly never farting in the company of others. Others, including my own husband.

I also under no circumstances will leave the bathroom door open and I absolutely refuse to engage in any kind of hair removal in his company (or anyone else's, save for my wax therapist, who I do not consider lucky for having the privilege) either. In five years of togetherness, including three of living together, I've managed to be discreet about all these things.

My theory is kind of like the good old “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Does said tree even exist at all? You see where I’m going with this, yes?


Hubby is a little more free-spirit about such things. He’ll happily burp, fart and scratch in front of me, our friends and family and probably anyone else that he's met for more than five minutes.

I hate it! If find it disgusting and unnecessary and I think it completely and totally wipes out any mystery or romance between two people… am I just being uptight? My husband thinks so… I’d be very interested to hear from others – from girls who aren’t bothered by their windy partners, boys that refuse to let ‘er rip in front of their sweethearts and girls that happily burp their way through dinner without a second thought… Let’s settle this once and for all!

We've already created a bit of discourse over on the $30 Date Night Blog and our Date Ideas Facebook Page about it, which I love! We have heard from women who think it's ridiculous of me to squirrel myself away like that and think I should just let it all hang loose, people who seem concerned about my internal health, people that completely agree that it's a romance killer and who teach their own children to say 'excuse me' when they belch or pass wind... 

So, weigh in here for us! Fact of married life, or romance-killer? Love to hear what you think!

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 306
  • J Montana™'s Avatar
    Posted by J Montana™ Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:58pm PDT

    Romance Killer!!

    Sorry , but t would be for me.

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  • Drea2up's Avatar
    Posted by Drea2up Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:32pm PDT

    It's both, and while I admire your self control, I'm sorry you don't have a partner who feels the same way as you do about it!

    I think when you really love someone none of those things matter.

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  • tinah's Avatar
    Posted by tinah Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:26pm PDT

    Farts just plain stink. thats a mama's love that can overlook that. Nasty, nasty, nasty!!! a sure fire killer of any romance.

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  • Dubs's Avatar
    Posted by Dubs Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:27pm PDT

    There is a time and place. Publicly I personal wouldn't nor within the company of others. Decency is still accompanied by manners bu I don't judge anyone for natural bodily functions...aslong as its not a Roadwarrior queef...(Youtube it):P

    South Park and did a double standard episode regarding guys and farts and women and queefs. I personally found it hilarious but could understand others disgust, depends on your taste in humor.

    There was even an empowering ballad supporting women to not be ashamed by their natural bodily functions. I have to say....I concur. It's titled "Queef Free".

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  • Theresa's Avatar
    Posted by Theresa Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:30pm PDT

    Does it count when you go out for ice cream, your husband orders frozen yogurt and the person behind the counter gives him the regular ice cream... go home, and you've got bubble guts and probably let one go in the middle of the night? I'm so sorry.

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  • Dubs's Avatar
    Posted by Dubs Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:32pm PDT

    Oops sorry for the typos, its late here.

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  • Keith's Avatar
    Posted by Keith Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:38pm PDT

    My mom's a nurse... I grew up knowing that people are....dare I say....HUMAN. With...dare I say....human bodily functions. Even......WOMEN!! Young lady....you need a reality check. So what's gonna happen during those later years if you come down with certain ailments that we ALL will come down with eventually....?? Like...say you get breast cancer?? or ovarian problems?? or whatever comes down the pike?? Ya gonna hide all that from your husband? Are YOU going to think it's GROSS when your husband has some issues?? If you can't handle burps and farts now..... lord help ya....AND/OR your husband..... when the SERIOUS stuff happens......and it WILL happen.... I think you should let your husband shave ya myself....might spruce up the sex life.....

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  • Mint E's Avatar
    Posted by Mint E Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:45pm PDT

    Well it it's a constant thing YES! Have some manners!

    D: I understand when you can't hold it or wait.But just to do it all the time without considering other people is wrong, yeah?

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  • Aidan's Avatar
    Posted by Aidan Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:51pm PDT

    I think discretion is the way to go. I can't stand a guy that's in his thirties and still laughing about his farts like a two year old.

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  • becca's Avatar
    Posted by becca Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:34am PDT

    My boyfriend thinks its cute when i fart in front of him. It doesn't bother either one of us. It also isn't a big deal in my family either. However, I do not, or try extremely hard not to let any bodily functions occur in front of his family or in public. It really depends on how comfortable you are with that person, and how comfortable you are with those situations.

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