Recap
Yesterday I posted, starting my diaries, letting you in the blogoscope of my newly-married life. As I make this huge transition in my life and adjust accordingly, you have been helpful, sweet, ans some of those responses almost made me fall out of my chair laughing. I have located a bottle of Goo Gone and am ready to scrub the Stick-E-Tack off the walls (thanks for the tip, iblb42!)
Today I'm going to talk about the things I have noticed about living with a man--some of these just may be MY man, but I suspect a lot of things will relate to men you know in your life. This is really out of love, and as I'm writing them, I will not be fuming at the ears but chuckling and going, "Oh, that's so Hubby."
Why do men not locate the laundry hamper, but simply put their clothes were the laundry hamper is supposed to go?
For this one, I must warn you that I had a rule that I would never do a man's laundry until I married him. Never fold, wash, or dry any piece of his clothing. I tend to mother my boyfriends, so this was my one rule, my one limit that I set on myself that stopped me. Now that I'm actually doing and paying attention to laundry, I realize that when I take the laundry hamper into the office/game room to do laundry, he'll not walk across the apartment to put his clothes in the proper place, but simply toss the clothes where the proper place is supposed to be. I really don't get this.
Why do men and women have such different definitions of "clean"?
We host a guy's bible study at 7pm on Thursdays. I'm not allowed to be there (which is okay because I have ladies' small group at the same time) and since I have work/ class right up until 7, he has to clean the apartment and make it look presentable to have guests there. He vacuums, which he likes to do. He picks up the jackets/ purses/ books that have collected themselves over the week and clears them. But he forgets to do things like wipe the inch of dust off the television, or throw out the wilting flowers he bought me last week.
When I 'clean', the house may still look a little messy to the naked eye, but any surface in the kitchen and bathroom is clean enough to eat dinner off of. I might not always vacuum, but my books are correctly placed in their order, my jackets picked up, every surface is dusted and/or polished. Together, we're a cleaning machine, but seperately, we've got a completely different definition of clean.
Why does "Put your dishes in the dishwasher" translate to men as "Put your dishes in the sink with water floating in it"?
Not only ew, but ewwwwwwwwwww. This invites all kinds of nasty things, from bugs to an unsightly full sink. When Hubby puts his cereal bowls in the sink, he fills it with water, leaving a weird milky, unclear water/milk solution that grosses me out every time I come later to put the sink in the dishwasher. I told him the day we got married that any dish he finished with must be immediately rinsed off and placed in the dishwasher. How many dishes have made it in the dishwasher by his hand? Zero. How many in the sink, filled with water? All of them.
Why do men eat their entire dinner before you can even sit down?
My Hubby has a brother, so I have theorized it's because eating was some kind of contest or a strategy to get the best seconds. But he hasn't lived with his brother in almost ten years, and he still can finish stuffed shells faster than it takes me to sit down. I keep telling him to slow down, but he refuses, and asks for seconds with a smile on his face.
Why are men so attached to those lumpy beanbags?!
Do you have a man who refuses to get rid of a beanbag? Welcome to Support. My name is Alicia and the lumpy, mostly flat, bright yellow beanbag is
You'll see his Rockband guitars back behind the beanbag. Why do men buy things like Rockband without thinking of where they are going to store it, instead leaving the equipment out for everyone to see and trip over? (The drums are sitting on the other side of the TV...)
Why are men so disgusted by Girl Things... like my beautiful Twilight collection on the bookshelf in the picture?
M'kay, I admit it, I'm a Twilighter. The Hubby loves me in spite of this. The other day, my new Twilight DVD was left in the DVD player (I spent the morning drooling over Rob Pattinson) and he was going to watch one of the Netflix movies. He made a huge deal of even touching the Twilight DVD, so far as to washing his hands afterwards. The same goes for anything of extreme girl-dom, like my hair dryer or my purse...which he still will not hold in public, even for a second. He requested that we keep our Netflix accounts seperate because he didn't want any of "those girl movies" on his Queue. This didn't bother me a whole lot, since I like my chick flicks too much to mix them with action movies. But I still don't understand how he can cringe at Twilight and I have no problem touching his ridiculous sci-fi movies or LEGO figures. He can't even touch Tampon boxes or my Birth Control boxes. Really, dear, it's just a box.
Why do men keep everything that has ever broken in the hopes of 'someday' fixing it?
My hubby has a lot of broken stuff, including every electronic item he has ever owned that has stopped working, and things like broken furniture, broken plates, and broken lamps. He says one day, he's going to fix this or that. Is it some form of manly rush if one can fix things that are broken? Is it somehow rescuing the item from the clutches of a fire-burned death, like a knight in shining armor? Well, if it is, I don't get it!
