User post: Wedding Planning Problems

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  Posted by Leah Thu Nov 5, 2009 10:18am PST

  If you two can't come to an agreement about this, then maybe you shouldn't be getting married in the first place.

  It's the marriage that's important, not the wedding.

  Good luck

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  Posted by Gerri Thu Nov 5, 2009 10:42am PST

  I would suggest hiring a Wedding Planner, this will take away the stress and time it takes to plan a wedding. And coming to a happy medium on the size of your wedding I would say have Party style wedding where you will have your intimate ceremony and your fiance gets the big crowd all in one setting.

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  Posted by happy frickin' monday :) Thu Nov 5, 2009 11:13am PST

  I just went through this...my condolences.

  We met in the middle: ceremony and reception took place at the same location, 30 guests, hired wedding coordinator to do all the stressing.

  We knew each and every one of our guests; family and friends were picked based off of who we keep in regular contact with...none of the 'my mom has a list of people she'd like to invite. It was a small enough group that we had the opportinity to spend time with all of them and still enjoy our event.

  The wedding coordinator was worth every penny.

  In your case...if it's easier: Put the things you want on cards and start bargaining for things.

  I often heard while planning...if you can compromise and communicate on planning a wedding, the marriage should be easy. :)

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  Posted by wishingkayla Thu Nov 5, 2009 11:13am PST

  Have a small wedding, and then a large reception/party at a later date.

  Congrats on your engagement!!

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  Posted by Vivian Thu Nov 5, 2009 2:03pm PST

  List all the tasks that need to be done. Many of which have to be done whether you have a small wedding or large wedding. If he is willing to do the extra work, go with him on it. If not meet somewhere in the middle. This is a good marriage test on compromise. Whatever you decide, don't skip on the wedding dress. Whether your wedding is small or large the dress is still important.

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  Posted by toshat Thu Nov 5, 2009 2:25pm PST

  My husband and I did not want to have an actual "wedding" at all, but my father had yet to walk any of his 3 other married daughters down the aisle so we decided to have one. The way we kept it stress free was only invite immediate family to ceremony (about 15 people for us) and then for our reception we rented out a Mexican restaurant - it was nicer than you would think! Already decorated, they picked the menu, full bar with bartender on staff, no setting up or cleaning up - we did everything for under $3000.

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  Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Thu Nov 5, 2009 2:38pm PST

  If your main problem with having a large wedding is that you don't want to be stressed out with planning it ... then let HIM handle it.

  Be very clear about what you are willing/able to do, and then let him make the plans exactly the way he wants them. His mom and maybe even your mom might be very excited and eager to help out with the details.

  This is just the opposite of how wedding planning usually goes: it's usually the woman who does all the work and the man who shows up on the wedding day with a fresh haircut. There's nothing wrong with letting him plan the day of his dreams, and you showing up yourself in a beautiful dress and enjoying the party.

  If he starts stressing out, encourage him to hire a wedding planner to help him work out the details. Let him have the fun he wants - and then you show up and have the fun you want! Everybody wins!

  Marriage is negotiation and collaboration. Never forget that.

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  Posted by Alex Thu Nov 5, 2009 2:41pm PST

  just meet half way. have a small wedding but a big reception. or a large wedding with no reception. being in a relationship is all about compromise. make each others wedding dreams come true by meeting half way.

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  Posted by Kathy Thu Nov 5, 2009 2:45pm PST

  One thing you can try first is figure out your budget. Since you both agree that you want a great honeymoon, why not start with that? Once you have an idea how much of your budget is left over from the honeymoon, you can look at what type and size wedding you can afford. Your fiance might understand that he needs to downsize his vision and go with a smaller wedding.

  Marriage is all about compromising, so you'll have to understand that it's not just your wedding, it's his too. Would you be okay with a slightly larger wedding, limited to only his and your closest friends and relatives? It would be selfish of him to want to invite them all, but selfish of you to say none.

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  Posted by Arsineh G Thu Nov 5, 2009 2:48pm PST

  Wedding planning is veryyy stressful..my husband and I got married on Aug 22nd of this year..no matter how big or small your wedding is..there's still sooo much to do..all that stress and fighting is for 4 hours..try to compromise with eachother because this is the first big test to see if you guys are strong enough to get through all of life's obstacles..your wedding is once in a lifetime, so do something memorable and something that fits your budget..we got married in vegas n had a reception of 80 guests and i wouldnt change anything if i had to do it all over again..when you get the video and pictures..u'll be greatful you had a reception!

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