User post: Why Wont He Take The Next Step?

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  Posted by One Wed's Wedding Maven Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:43pm PST

  It seems obvious, you're ready to get married, he isn't. A lot of people would consider 25 and 27 too young to get married or have children. You don't, but he does, so yes, if getting married is your top priority, then you need to find someone who is ready to do so. Don't forget though, it's better to be happy and alone then miserable and married!

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  Posted by Climbing Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:45pm PST

  I think (and I might be wrong)You are being pushy. You had a plan set out and is not working so this is the way you're going to be with whomever. You're calling your conditions Love. You staied with him because of hope. HE'S NOT READY and no guy 27 year old should be.

  Get the message He's living with his parents to avoid responsibilities and the reality for a while.

  Try to enjoy your time together if you really love him. You'll end up with 3children if he proposes you and you have the 2nd child.

  No thing or person comes close by pushing. Be affraid of what you wish because you might get it and is going to be to late to return and you'll pay a greater price.

  Chill out

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  Posted by Tired Of The Prejudice Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:54pm PST

  Just curious, why the rush to marriage?? Does he make you happy now? If not, what the hell you going to get married to him for? Sounds to me you think getting married is going to make your relationship better. But you say that you'll leave him if he doesn't marry you. Doesn't seem like you're all that happy with him to begin with. Might want to just start fresh.

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  Posted by AlonaG Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:54pm PST

  He obviously doesn't love you enough to commit to your timeline, even after he's said he would. You're young, but obviously you've had to be mature to take care of a child as a young woman. He's not mature. You point out that he still lives with his parents- really, that;s not okay for a 27 year old. Saying he wants to "live on his own" seems to be code for "without you"- otherwise he would already have moved out. You deserve better. Seeing as its the end of the year, I say you wait until the time limit you set (Dec 31?) runs out, and then drop him. If you do get engaged, make sure he moves out so he gets that "alone time" before the marriage- but don't let him wait more than a year, it can just become another waiting period. If you leave, I don't think you'll have lost much, and you can find someone who deserves you and has a more mature outlook.

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  Posted by mrs dodd Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:01pm PST

  seems to me like he just doesnt want a commitment... no doubt im sure he loves you but its like that old saying.. have your cake and eat it too. he has someone he loves but also has his freedom and by living at home he prob doesnt have many bills and has extra money. i mean being with someone for 5 years.. i think you should at least be engaged. i mean the question is.. how much do you love him? do you wait around on what he wants or do you do what your heart tells you. im not saying to leave him. i know you love him or you wouldnt have been with him for 5 years but the fact that he says even after he moves out of his parents he wants to live by himself just worries me. if you truely love someone and want nothing than to be with them and are ready to make that commitment then you are going to do anything and everything to make that happen... hes just not ready... and thats ok but at the same time its not fair to you to have to wait for him to get ready to marry you. i think yall need to sit down and honestly and openly discuss what your goals are in life and where each of you stand with the other. best of luck

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  Posted by Aira Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:43pm PST

  apparently he's got some responsibilities that he needs to finish other than commit himself himself to u..give him a break, dont push him too hard..if it is meant to be, then it is going to happen come what may.if not, better luck next time,lol...there are so many fishes in the ocean, u might have a better catch..ok?

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  Posted by Carrie Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:45pm PST

  5 years this guy is a loser Dump Him Now!! Marriage or not. If he isn't ready and you want to get married then move on. You are probably pushing him which will not change his mind.

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  Posted by DANIELLE Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:57pm PST

  To Aira, what kind of responsibilities would have anything to do with taking a few moments of time to ask, "will you marry me"? I know his situation, you don't. So, no, I won't give him a break...OK?

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  Posted by B Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:12pm PST

  Most men are afraid of commitment but from my experience i think he isnt really prepared for what will happen if you weren't around. For the past 5 years you have been giving him the go to do whatever the hell he wants without thinking about the future. My adivce is to just tell him where you are coming from, if he really doesnt want to get his stuff together then walk.

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  Posted by fiction Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:16pm PST

  "the doc"

  I know what you are probably wondering: "how much I will support something like this?"

  My advice is to try to be realistic and to understand that (probably) he is already committed with lots of other girls... Also like you suggested, I understand that the time is not at your side.

  Only by recreation purposes, this it's for you: Star Trek Voyager, Season 6, episode 13 (virtuoso)

  No matter how broken is your heart, for sure this will make you smile ... :-)

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