Love + Sex

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Want a Man? Get "Un-messed Up", Says Prostitute

There is tons of dating advice floating around on the Web. But a love column I stumbled upon today comes from an unexpected source--London call girl Belle de Jour.

Why would you want advice from such a woman? Well, because some of the men she has entertained have perhaps spilled their reasons for seeking her out--crazy partners, lousy sex lives, meek spouses.

Among the tips in Belle's Times Online piece are be interested, give unconditional acceptance and get excited about sex. But her No. 1 tip and perhaps the most important is to "get un-messed up already."

Think about the people you know who are in relationships. Did they work on their issues (and we all have some) before they got partnered up? When your female friends talk to you about the problems in their unions, do you detect that a lot of them might have to do with your pal's neuroses more than her partner's?

It's still commonplace in our society to get married in your early twenties to someone you met in or right out of college. Obviously there are couples who have been successful going this route. But at that young of an age, many people have just begun to scratch the surface of who they really are and confront the demons that haunt them. They run the risk of putting that self-work on hold by entering a relationship.

Did you get "un-messed up" before you got into your most recent relationship or marriage, or did you work on yourself afterward?
 
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Comments 1-2 of 2
  • TJ S's Avatar
    Posted by TJ S Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:45am PDT

    She's right. I got rid of my issues and couldn't be better.

    Report Abuse
  • CrazyDoug's Avatar
    Posted by CrazyDoug Mon Sep 28, 2009 10:21am PDT

    I second TJ. Neither men nor women, can have fulfilling relationships until they have a fulfilling relationship with themself first.

    Report Abuse
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