I am frustrated! I have come out of a relationship with a man whom I loved very much but who had no sexual interest in me. (Or anyone else for that matter.) I said that I was not going to date anymore because it is just too frustrating and the dating pool in my area and in my age group is not superb.
However, I am a flesh and blood woman so, naturally, the desire to have a significant other or even just someone to date casually is still there. I am 36 years old, athletic, attractive, outgoing, smart, friendly, a doctor, have a great career, no children, no skeletons in the closet, come from a great family and have, as I have been told, "a great rack".
I have tried online dating services, I have joined various social groups, I go to the gym, I have put myself out there, and yet not one man seems to hold any interest in me. I go to clubs with friends and I don't even pull second glances. I don't pick my nose in public nor do I have any other socially unacceptable habits (that I know of). I am told all the time what a great catch I am (by my friends, anyway), yet that sentiment is not echoed by my single peers.
I do not and will not lower my standards just to say that I have a man. However, I am really getting agitated here. If I am such a great catch and am such a "great gal", what is the problem? Am I missing something? Is there something that guys want that I do not have? Am I too smart? Too strong? Too independent? Does anyone know what it really is that guys want?
What do men want???????????
- by , on Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:55pm PDT
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From the Community…
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Posted by Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:05am PDT
Report AbuseMost of us (guys, men, studs, or even the occassional one night stand) will be intimidated by the fact that you are a doctor. Not for any other reason than you got us beat! Financially, beauty, and obviously, with a "great rack"! It's an easy fix though, tone done your accomplishments, if you have a great rack...actually, at first that is the important part! Be realistic in your search. Am I hot! That is all we care about...what do you think...First impressions are important. Hot woman are a luxury for most of us (guys, men, studs, or even the occassional one night stand), so calm down have a drink, set at the table next to the bar, not at the bar, that's bar fly country, and a sign of desperation! Relax, have agood time and let it show, be happy with yourself! If all else fails look me up in Iraq! I will be here for a few more months.
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Posted by Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:09am PDT
Report AbuseI have the same problem except I'm not a doctor....your not alone though. Everyone says relax, it'll happen. If I relaxed anymore I'd be asleep for crying out loud. I think that confident women like us are intimidating to normal men and the exceptional one's are too busy to go out or even consider a relationship. Unfortunately for us, we know what we want. We have most of it already. Being able to hold an intelligent conversation and balance your check book seems to be taboo anymore. I've also tried the online thing and have attracted one loser after another. There has to be a solution, maybe we should start a support group, lol
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Posted by Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:39am PDT
Report AbuseThis is interesting. While on vacation, this conversation came up with several people, mostly guys. How to meet someone? The guys say they often see attractive women, but those women seem " aloof", or they are with their friends... so, they don't approach them. Too intimidating.
I thought about that.. and it's when I've been alone, I've had guys come up to me. Coming home from the airport, I stopped in a small restaurant. A man sent over a drink. Another time, I was struggling with a large box, trying to get it into the car trunk. Cute guy stepped up to help. We ended up going out that weekend. At the beach, at a family rteunion, I was walking alone... and a cutie joined me. Much too young for me, but still.
Forget clubs and bars. That's desperation area. Just put yourself out there sometimes without your friends surrounding you. You might be surprised.
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Posted by Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:27am PDT
Report AbuseYou have obviously got a lot going for yourself, and don't think for a second that there is something wrong with that! A lot of accomplished women have been in your position, including myself. I'll tell you in some respects what my mother told me....It's not what you do, it's how you do it.
You have to take into consideration how you are handling your desire for companionship. I personally think you are just trying to hard. As springtime said, sometimes you make the best connections when you're not trying to. And look at where you are looking for men....What man goes to a bar for a fiance? Maybe you should start going to places that are centered around things and activities you enjoy like a gym if you're athetic or somewhere where you'll be surrounded by people (guys) who you are ready share common interests with. That may help with the lasting interest issue.
Finally, men can see straight through some women. Make sure that you are always being yourself! Don't try to conform to what you think guys in general or even specific guys want. There's to many variations, you'll probably be wrong, and it's never comfortable always pretending to be someone else. Believe it or not, guys appreciate women who are genuine and secure with themselves. When you want too bad, it's easy to become desperate...and IT SHOWS! Be you, be patient. You seem like an amazing woman....he's out there ;)
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Posted by Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:32am PDT
Report AbuseI HAVE NO CLUE ON WHAT MEN WANT. I HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS SAME ROAD BEFORE. SOME MEN ARE AFRAID OF A GOOD WOMAN SO THEY RUN. SOME MEN ARE INTEMADATED BY A GOOD WOMAN THAT THEY RUN. IT TOOK ME ABOUT A YEAR OR MORE TO FIND A MAN, A GOOD MAN THAT LOVES ME, RESPECT ME, AND ADORE ME. SO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU IS DON'T GIVE UP THAT MAN IS OUT THERE FOR YOU AND WHEN YOU GET HIM YOUR WORLD IS GOING TO BRIGHTEN UP.
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Posted by Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:46pm PDT
Report Abuseyou just haven't found him yet! you will know when he comes. I thought I didn't want love but love found me! and I've never been happier!
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Posted by Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:23am PDT
Report AbuseI MEAN IM A YOUNG MAN (23) AND IM BASICALLY GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I HAVENT FOUND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE YET EITHER BUT THE WAY I SEE IT TRY SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVENT TRIED YET TO GET A MAN OR EVEN TRY A YOUNGER MAN OR JUST TALK TO THE LORD.
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Posted by Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:24pm PDT
Report Abuseone thing i can tell u, you're just being picky of who u want to be with!!! see, since u are an accomplished women and u are looking for the same person then that will be hard to look for, u definitely wont be able to find it in the bar.. You have to be who u are, if u meet someone at first try not to talk about what u have and what u can give. coz some people will take advantage of you. You'll find what you're looking for, just dont scare them!!
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Posted by Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:24pm PDT
Report Abuseone thing i can tell u, you're just being picky of who u want to be with!!! see, since u are an accomplished women and u are looking for the same person then that will be hard to look for, u definitely wont be able to find it in the bar.. You have to be who u are, if u meet someone at first try not to talk about what u have and what u can give. coz some people will take advantage of you. You'll find what you're looking for, just dont scare them!!
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Posted by Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:31am PDT
Report Abuseas a 26 year old man. I say slow down,dont look for a lifemate look for a friend. We cant tell you what we want we dont know. If you see someone you want ask thim to lunch, no pressure thare just time to see who thay are. As far as Im concernd most people arnt worth the efort.
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