I have this Wordpress blog that allows me to see the terms/phrases you guys searched to get there. And usually the main phrase is, “ How long should I wait to contact my ex ?” Like every single day…But this past weekend, an overwhelming majority of you searched, “Boyfriend goes on vacation – doesn’t call.”
I really didn’t realize that this was such a prevailing issue. But I can imagine how frustrating it would be to sit at home waiting for the phone to ring, not knowing if you should call (you don’t want to interrupt him), or text (just so he knows you’re thinking of him), or email (he’ll check when he has time), or do nothing altogether (if he wanted to talk, he’d call!).
I decided to chat with some people to see what they thought about the question. And the answers you see are the winning majority of a group of 5 people, 3 men, 2 women, all of whom are in successful relationships. Check out the timeline below to see what you should do.
If he hasn’t called in:
1 day – Let it go! “He’s just getting settled in and probably went out with the boys, tied one on and passed out before he had the time to dial your digits. Or if he went with his family, then he’s probably reconnecting with them.” - Tim
2 days – Still let it go! “If you have a strong relationship, then you’re definitely on his mind. It’s only been 48 hours. No need to be alarmed yet.” - John
3 days – This is when, if my boyfriend normally calls me every day, I would become a bit anxious. At this point, I would send a quick text saying, “Just thinking about you. Hope you’re having fun!” and see if he gets back with you.” - Claire
4 days – You just sent a text yesterday. Don’t do anything today. You don’t want to push. However, since my boyfriend and I chat every day – whether by phone, email or text, I would be a bit worried. I mean, if he can’t call because his phone is dead, he can certainly jump on someone’s computer and send me a note. On day 4, I’d go out with the girls and have a few drinks and vent! - Jen
5 days – Call him. Leave a breezy voicemail if he doesn’t pick up: “Hey, it’s me. Haven’t heard from you. Hope you’re okay.” - Claire
If he does pick up, just ask him about his vacation and tell him what you’re doing. Don’t go straight into confrontation. But after you get into a good spot with a good conversation, bring it up. Say something like, “Well, I have been a little worried since you haven’t called. Is everything okay?” Hopefully he’ll say something that’ll make you feel better. If not then I guess you’ll have to deal with whatever he says. -Kyle
6 days to a week or more – Don’t call him anymore. Don’t text. Don’t email. He either is having trouble getting to a phone, or he’s just not even thinking about you. Now why do I say this? I read somewhere that this girl’s boyfriend went on vacation for 2 weeks overseas. Apparently he told her he was going, but she forgot (they already have bad communication apparently). She called him the first day, the second day, the third day and each message got nastier. She called his mom about a week into it and his mom reminded her about his vacation. But by then, the girl had broken up with her boyfriend on voicemail and left a crazy email about how she hooked up with someone else since he wasn’t talking to her. He ended up posting the emails and the voicemails online. Be careful and don’t jump the gun! - Kyle
But there is a caveat to this advice: If your guy/girl is in a totally different country, or backpacking through Europe, please cut them some slack. He/she may be in the remote English countryside – you don’t know. After a week, just send a quick email letting him know you miss him and tell him you’d love to hear back from him just so you know he’s safe. That way you’re not being too needy, but you’re letting him know that you’re a bit worried. - Jen
If the guy doesn’t call you until he gets back, and it’s been MORE THAN A WEEK, then it’s time to have a talk. You don’t have to be a total wench when you talk to him. But do let him know how you feel and hopefully you can work it out. But you don’t have to work it out with him either. Trust your gut and go with it. And if you do break up, check out this book , it’ll help!
Plain and simple, if he was able to call you, text you
or email you and he chose not to, then something is definitely
inherently wrong in your relationship. Try to talk about it.
Don't avoid it.
I'd love to hear what you do when you're in this
situation!
