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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

What Its Like to ALMOST Be the Other Woman

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So recently i have come across a serious problem. One of my good friends has always had issues with her boyfriend and from the start, i knew it wouldn't be a good relationship. They've been together for a little less than a year, but for young couples, thats a long time. Lately, it seems their relationship is crumbling, they fight far too much than any normal couple, they talk about eachother behind their backs, and they just seem miserable. I'm friends with the boyfriend's family and ive been close with him. I've actually had a slight history, nothing too extreme, but it was before him and my friend got together. Now, all of a sudden, he seems to find interest in me. One night he called me and asked if I would want to hang out with him, JUST him. Ofcourse i refused because, well, hes my friends boyfriend, and thats not something friends do. But the fact of the matter is, i still liked him when he started dating my friend, and i kind of resented the fact that they went out. I also knew he wasnt going to be faithful and I tried to tell her that, but she was determined that she could change him. Well, I was right because now he's coming to me with all types of propositions. He tells me that he's going to break up with her because he honestly CANNOT stand her anymore. She tells me that she thinks its time to call it quits too, but neither of them have put those words into actions. One night, i was at his house for a family party, it was his younger brothers birthday party. We had some drinks and everyone there was definately under the influence, well, those who were allowed to drink atleast. I had walked into the bathroom to fix my hair and he came in behind me. I asked him "Do you want me to get out?" and he said "No, i want you to stay." Thats when it happened. He KISSED me. The b------ actually did it. I was shocked and stepped back. I never thought of this ever happening. He grabbed me again, and whispered for me to join him in his bedroom, and no his girlfriend had left just prior to this happening. After whispering his proposition, he left the bathroom and went into his room. I looked at myself in the mirror, but i wasn't sure if i was mad, or upset. i actually felt like this was going to happen eventually. I never took him up on that offer, i never went into his room. i just went back downstairs and hung out with the family like nothing happened. However, even though i know its wrong to do, i cant help but feel almost regretful. I've had feelings for him for a long time and I just wish he wasnt with a girlfriend. But i ultimately believe that I had made the right decision.

What would you do if you were in a situation like this?
I know i dont want to be a side dish to someones entree, but how can i get over my regret?

Related: what would you do, the other woman, romance, relationships, oppinions, love, infidelity, girlfriend, decisions, deception, dating, cheating, boyfriend

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Comments 1-10 of 13
  • another hockey fan's Avatar
    Posted by another hockey fan Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:51am PDT

    Okay and you are considering this a loss because.....You already know the guy's a cheater and yet just because you feel resentful towards your friend getting him while you still had a thing for him, you think now you'd consider him. Well, I guess if you don't mind finding yourself in your friend's shoes one day then I say go for it. He sounds like such a great catch too.

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  • Taylor's Avatar
    Posted by Taylor Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:27am PDT

    I'm not considering it a loss, its more like an "i wish it was okay to do it" type of thing. I know what he's like, and I'm not considering a relationship. He is a good person for the most part, just not the type to settle down. He's not the boyfriend type, as of right now. I'm not sticking up for him, i just know him more than just a guy, our families are friends too. But like I made the right decision, because I wouldn't want to be in my friends shoes.

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  • Taylor's Avatar
    Posted by Taylor Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:28am PDT

    like i said *

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  • cheerchick's Avatar
    Posted by cheerchick Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:42pm PDT

    you really did the right thing, in a way im proud of you. And you dont want to be his number one,you deserve to be his NUMBER 1. you really need to wait until they end, then talk to him if you want to be with him, lay down the law. if you want to get over him, then make sure you dont put yourself in a situation where youll be near him. i hope i helped a little. keep me posted. best of luck- amanda. :)

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  • Rick's Avatar
    Posted by Rick Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:36pm PDT

    ask your self how would you feel if you were her ??? Now did you do the right thing??ask your self

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  • Jazzybfine's Avatar
    Posted by Jazzybfine Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:29pm PDT

    First of all, if you are in the bathroom and your friends man walks in, you DONT ask him IF HE WANTS YOU TO LEAVE. You just leave. You wanted him to approach you for whatever reason and you wanted to shut him down too. What did you need to prove to yourself? I dont think it was all that innocent on your part.

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  • Shereeda's Avatar
    Posted by Shereeda Sat Jun 13, 2009 7:20pm PDT

    You did the right thing so don't feel bad about it. Besides once your friend dates a guy, (no matter how long you and the guy have known each other) hes definitely off limits, forever.

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  • sonja's Avatar
    Posted by sonja Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:39pm PDT

    I agree that there was a part of you that wanted him to approach you or you would not have asked if you should leave. You should have been honest with yourself & friend from the jump if you had anything with this guy because there is a code that goes comes with the territory of friendship. You should be real careful about directness with this guy, it seems as though at some point you left a window of opportunity open for him when he started coming on to you...are you being true to yourself.

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  • Taylor's Avatar
    Posted by Taylor Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:47pm PDT

    dont worry ill keep you posted.

    just wait until the story tomorrow.

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  • Taylor's Avatar
    Posted by Taylor Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:47pm PDT

    dont worry ill keep you posted.

    just wait until the story tomorrow.

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 13

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