what just happened?

From the Community…

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  Posted by Aira Sun Nov 8, 2009 4:22am PST

  being in a relation that long has has made u friends, i assume, so, it is better to ask her...for me it is better to end the relation as friends.it helps to ease the pain of parting...

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  Posted by sally Sun Nov 8, 2009 5:23am PST

  No one can really give you the reason but her. Give her time,maybe she will tell you. The best thing I think to do is move on and be happy with your life,then you get the anwsers you need.

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  Posted by carol Sun Nov 8, 2009 5:32am PST

  depends on if you where fighting or getting along when she said this,if you where fighting she just wants to get away if you wheren't fighting then she needs space to figure something out and taking a break is a good idea. either way if you love her tell her that and love her enough to back up.

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  Posted by Lex Sun Nov 8, 2009 6:31am PST

  im really sorry. I kinda had this happen to me only HE told me he wanted to just be friends out of the blue. Soo its not just a line that ladies use...men use it to. But I just think you need to get her to tell u her real reason...or maybe one of her friends or family members will tell u. Someone has to know because if you claim u didnt do anything wrong then i don t see what could ruin a 4year relationship just like that. Sorry. and good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxox Lex oxoxox

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  Posted by J Montana™ Sun Nov 8, 2009 7:01am PST

  Do research online. Research - "get your ex back."

  sometimes the line is used to part ways ( from love)

  but only because she felt " UNwanted ". It is usually for a short amount of time. ( until you get your act together)

  If she felt you were fully committed- SHE WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT.

  If she thought that you were gone ( left the relationship )

  she was only handing you- your walking papers.

  Example-- " You already left. so....bye! "

  She wants to be civil- she wants you to go after her.

  Woman do not leave relationships- not so easily- they are wired to nuture and stay.

  She does love you- I imagine....she just felt unloved-

  But she wont cheat on you to get-- affection from another man--- she does want YOU.

  Good Luck- There are lots of great advice out there-

  The friends lines doesn't mean anything. For men- it may- but they got bored to easy or got scared away- by a needy chick and used it.

  Just research it- find out what you need to do--

  if you know for a fact that she

  just wanted a COMMITMENT_ or (marriage)- step up! or lose her forever.

  If you dont care for her- walk away- I imagine that since you are asking online that she is a strong woman and will Not beg you back.

  Its up to you.

  Are you just going to let her go?

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  Posted by onedesertblonde Sun Nov 8, 2009 7:06am PST

  Like the above say, It Depends, 4 years is considered a life time in a young girls mind.You dont say how old you two are!

  Maybe she was wanting marriage and senced that you just wanted the perks? Maybe she felt that you two were in a rut, you know BORING, and she wants some excitement. "Like when you first start dating"

  You have to keep any relationship alive. You have to grow, but sometimes, if you dont talk openly, you can grow in separate directions.

  You need to BE YOUR OWN PERSON, and let the other person be who they are. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, Be clingy!! Never tell someone that you cant live without them!!!

  Just ask her! "you know, 4 years is along time, and I think I deserve an honest answer. Why do you just want to be friends?"

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  Posted by J Montana™ Sun Nov 8, 2009 7:13am PST

  The answer is not either one of those.

  Think about it for a moment. When has a woman ever needed space?

  I mean really? She has not found another man. If she was in the relationship with you - I imagine that she would NOT cheat.

  The reason was - she felt unwanted.

  Its simple. If you told her that "you wasted your time"-

  you just put a nail in your coffin. You made her feel unwanted.

  Make her feel wanted.

  When married men cheat---- ask your self why?

  --they were Not appreciated at home so they went else where ...right?

  For woman it is different-- she wont cheat on you-- but you didnt want her...or showed her that you did....she felt it.

  She is not talking to another man.....if she is then it is a friend that she has not ROMANTIC INTEREST IN.

  She is just crying on his shoulder.

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  Posted by J Montana™ Sun Nov 8, 2009 7:26am PST

  One Desert Blonde has a good point when she stated--

  "Maybe she was wanting marriage and senced that you just wanted the perks? "

  You do not have to be needy to get her back either.

  a simple-

  " Hey baby, I love you and I want you in my life"

  " I am willing to meet to talk"

  --

  would work wonders- You did not ask her back.

  You did not ask her to come back to you...yet..you let her know how you felt

  You left it open--- You told her straight up.

  ( secret)

  Ride in and be her Hero....The sex is mindblowing that you will get!!

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  Posted by J Montana™ Sun Nov 8, 2009 7:34am PST

  Oh & one more thing...

  When you are around her, lose the negativity-

  Yor words from your post above---

  "If I hadnt made such an effort to be honest with her and not cheat I probably wouldnt care. I feel like I've waisted my time on this relationship"

  I would have left too- If you talked to me like that.

  Lose the attitude....that would make any woman feel unwanted.

  You wasted your time??? I don't know If I could take you back.

  I hope that you didn't tell her that. I do not know you so I won't judge you.

  Good luck!

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  Posted by Aric Fri Nov 13, 2009 5:11pm PST

  I just wanted to say thank you to all the responses and advice. My girlfriend and I are still working our problems out but all the advice was a good start. the next time I need advice you guys are who i am coming to. Thank you all again

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