What Makes Someone "Dating Material"?

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by Nicole Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:17pm PDT

  This is an interesting one...I wouldn't exactly agree with part about treating every girl like she is dateable herself. I recently had an experience with a guy that did treat me that way and lead me on to believe he wanted to date then all of a sudden decided he just wants to be friends. Needless to say, you don't want to lead any girls on that you are not interested in dating like how I was. From what you have said, you don't sound un-dateable to me per say. I say be sure to keep a lot of female friends so help you out and just be yourself - I truly believe you will find someone who loves you for you :)

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Rebecca Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:49pm PDT

  Most of the things you describe yourself as scream "player" to me....I think thats what makes women think you are not dating material....No one wants to be yet another notch on your headboard :(

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by FF Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:50pm PDT

  "be nice to the short guys because they have tall friends" So true, I swear people think I'm way cuter than I am (I dont think I'm cute, but I recognize I get attention) because I'm nice to EVERYONE. Like, genuinely nice, and I don't see a reason not to be unless given one. I wish other cute girls would try it out

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Mike Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:57pm PDT

  Most of my life I have had women as friends from my sister to my best female friend Sam. I always talk to them about anything I might be confused about. So it is nice to have that resource when I need it.

  Yet I do get the feeling at times that I am always the friend and not someone that the women want to have as the boyfriend. I even had one woman ask me why I had so many women in my life and that I would need to get rid of them if I wanted to be with her. Well, obviously I did not say goodbye to my friends just because of one woman's competative jealousy.

  So I do understand in part that feeling of the lone guy round the sea of couples and wishing to sail like they do with a good partner. I am always myself, maybe a bit goofy at times, maybe a bit serious at others. Yet I just live my life the best I can and wonder when I will run into the special woman for me. I have heard all the advice you could think of from "put yourself out there and keep pursuing," to "don't look for love, it will come when you least expect it."

  I have to say I really don't know which is better to do or to hear from my friends. Some days I want to walk up to a woman and be bold saying something nice about them to break the ice. Other days I am scared to even make eye contact. Either way I feel inside I always treat them the way I want to be treated, with open honesty and respect.

  The one thing I have a struggle with is to know when I woman is interested in me. I have been told I missed a flirt or a look even though I was sitting right there to see it. To know by her tone if she is just being polite by letting me visit for a while, or is actully interested. I try and I fall down a lot but weach time I do I learn more about myself and about my interactions in situations like that.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Doktor Eevol Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:17pm PDT

  "Women look for maturity and mystery" uh excuse me? Maturity, yes, but I don't want mystery. Thankyouverymuch. Your first objective should be to stop stereotyping women and start understanding them as unique individuals instead of viewing them through that vague fog of popular generalizations.

  If you've been labeled as "undatable" by the people around you - and I would think they know you better than any of us would - I don't think that it's because you are a ham, open about your life, or because you tell raunchy jokes. Anyone can have all those qualities and still get a date. That leads me to suspect it's the way you treat people.

  IMO it's not even about being datable. You become datable IF you are capable of having a healthy, honest relationship. People are a LOT more perceptive than you give them credit for. They can sense whether they are being treated like a human being or not.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by L-messsss Mon Jun 8, 2009 5:36pm PDT

  you should write a blog about how guys need to be more sarcastic and witty because there are no more in this world!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by KittyKat Mon Jun 8, 2009 6:39pm PDT

  Aww!!!!

  Please dont feel bad. You are not undateable. you just havent found the right girl yet. you cant expect her to fall from the sky right in front of you.

  Maybe next time ask her to talk about herself. Ask her questions.

  BE YOURSELF IN THE BEGINNING AND MIDDLE.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Ambria Mon Jun 8, 2009 8:57pm PDT

  You stated that you like being the center of attention. Perhaps thats youre downfall. Women sometimes like for someone to listen to what they have to say regardless of what it may be. Listening shows you care. The attention given to one another in a relationship should be given equally on both ends.

  Of course every woman apprciates a gentlemen whos mature and intelligent. But being a mystery could come off as perhaps maybe youre hiding something and this could cause the woman to develop trust issues with you.

  Even while youre dating you should be honest and direct about what you are looking for before you take it any farther. So there wouldnt be a misunderstanding.

  It sounds to me as though you have a strong personality and you like being in control of situations. I feel you would probaly be best with a passive and naive woman who dosent mind jumping to your command and allowing you to be the spotlight.

  Everyone has someone that is for them.

  Goodluck on finding yours:)

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by shadysara89 Tue Jun 9, 2009 1:50am PDT

  in my thoughts when i read this artical was that i think you are having problems really knowing what you want in a woman cuz thats a big thing. first i would have to say that a man of your situation probly wants to be with someone who is in it for the long run heres my advise when you do go on a date first things first you should open the car door for the lady it maybe old school but it is very affective in saying that your a lady and im a gentalman girls dont want to marry the guy they dated in high school how drove the bike or what ever they want a guy who is there for the long run. through out the date pay attention to her if you reseve a call on the first date and you take it just kiss that girl good bye in my eyes if you do take it try to make it as breaf as possible if not at all. try to talk about simple stuff things that every one can relate to like maybe music or education things that you may have in common you deff can be goofy just not on the first few dates as it is your date is feeling uncomfterble if you have never met them its just human nature. you just feed the real you in small portions they have to know your name before your account balence its a step prosses to be humble is good if you want a long term relationship dont be flashy in alot of girls who want the long term thing dont want flashy is like coming over to a girl and just say your sexy its not goood what so ever if a guy was flashy and had that attatued i would stear clear they only want to have sex and after all is said and done its over insted of useing the term sexy if you do want to say something of that nature you should say Beautiful

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Carolyn Tue Jun 9, 2009 6:54am PDT

  Visit Maine

  Report Abuse