I'll try to make this as short as possible. This guy and I met and had a long distance relationship for several months prior to me moving to his state (my mother lived there also). We moved in together two months after me moving to the state and had a great relationship - never argued, nothing. Not even a month afterwards I found out that he was talking to his ex (when I wasn't home, or he'd make an excuse to go out to the 'store' so he could talk to her, or while he was at work)..I wouldn't have minded if he had told me instead of going behind my back AND didn't insist that I stop talking to my ex, which were still friends at that point. This went on for two months without me knowing. The following month was ok, that I know of. Our relationship had some trust issues from him lying to me about that AND bc he went through my email one night and discovered a drafted email to an ex of mine dated two years ago, which he didn't know was my ex. The ex had come and gone BF i even met this guy but he knew OF HIM bc my brother was still friends with the guy. Anyways, he asked about me and this guy and I denied it bc i thought it was none of his business since the guy had come and gone before I met him..Anyways, so that sparked more issues. He got to the jealousy point of going through my car, phone, and email - i didnt' mind bc i didn't have anything to hide but it was the principal of it..Anytime I went to visit my mother he would text me non-stop...if I took more than 3 minutes to respond then he'd get an attitude...If I came home and was on the phone with a friend from home or anything too long he'd get pissy..ANYWAYS, to the point..Our relationship was getting BAD and he pushed me into our closet door, hitting my head on the door knob..It was then that I decided to leave and head back to my hometown..When I got back we talked about alot of our issues, agreed that we were gonna work on the trust issues together and work it out and eventually move back to each other, whether it be down there or up where Im from. THEN, I find out that the WHOLE TIME we've been together he was finding women on CL and talking the most dirtiest sex talk I have ever seen (he didnt' talk to me like that) AND trying to meet up with them..telling him he had to be home by 5:30pm (bc I got home at 6pm) AND soliciting himself to men for money!!!! Giving out his cell phone number - he's from Lebanon and when his phone would go off in the middle of the night I'd ask him who called and he'd say his cousin from there..Anyway, When I questioned him about it he said that he was getting paid to collect emails for spammers and to catch cheeting wives bc he owed someone money..I asked who that someone is and it was his ex's step dad..I asked when he got the chance to go over there and he said when he went to see his parents!!! I mentioned that IF he were only doing it for money then to collect email addresses you dont need to have week-long convo's over email talking about what you want to do with them!!! He swears he never met up with any of them but there are several stating meeting times. I dont know what to do..he says now that he was dumb and loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me and wants to prove to me that he wants to spend the rest of his life proving his love for me, etc.. I do love him soooooo soooo much but can't stand the thought on all of what I read that he was sending to these girls..and men!! sharing naked pictures, what he was saying...all on top of his lying about where he was going when he was going to his parents..but yet im a strong believer that he got a taste of losing me and realized what a mistake he has made..I just dont know what to do... I love him and believe he could have realized what he was doing was wrong and he truely wants to make it up to me..But Im a smart girl and feel so foolish if I stay and give him a second chance..actually, with the lying it's more like a 5th
What would you do if you found out your boyfriend was soliciting himself to men and hooking up with random women?? Need advice..
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From the Community…
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Posted by Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:33am PST
Report Abusewow, the 5th!!?! I think that if you do give him one more chance let it be THE LAST chance you give. No more middle of the night calls or any funny business- including searching through your stuff. THe truth is that I think if he has done this before than he will not change...but who knows. You dont want to miss your chance being with the right guy because you was too busying giving the wrong guy chances.
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Posted by Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:26am PST
Report AbuseWow, I honestly think all you need to do is reread everything you just wrote to get your answer. Why would you ever give this deceitful person another chance? You know there are people out there who would never have done this stuff to you in the first place, let alone promise not to do it again...which is probably B.S. judging by the history.
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Posted by Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:44am PST
Report AbuseHunny, get THE HELL OUT! What a loser! Get out before you end up getting preggers and then ur stuck with him for the rest of ur life!!!!
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Posted by Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:53am PST
Report AbuseDON'T GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE HE WILL NOT CHANGE BELEAVE ME DON'T DO IT
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Posted by Sat Nov 14, 2009 8:54am PST
Report AbuseWHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM?????? Run for the hills. Not only has he been violent towards you but he's been actively looking for sex with other people. He could give you something! Plus he seems very controlling, another sign that you should leave him. AND even if he hadn't done those things, he repeatedly lied to you. That shows that he has no respect for you as a woman. Move out as soon as you can. And even though you love him, DO NOT take him back because he will continue to do the same thing over and over again.
Good luck
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Posted by Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:08am PST
Report AbuseWow. It's too late to feel foolish and now it's time to be smart. Why love someone who can only express it with words and deep emotional mental begging and pleading as to convince you of something you should know better than. You don't love him and he don't love you because it's written all over this post. Yall just should have stayed friends with benefits until the illusion wore off. GOD is Love and therefore love is based in truth and not good intentions. Stop trying to do right in a wrong situation and survive. He hurt you regardless of the mistakes you made. Stop apollogizing and start saying what you feel and mean what you say. If he can't understand you then why keep wasting your time. He has way too much drama to keep unless that sort of excitement is what you are into.
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Posted by Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:37am PST
Report AbuseWow! Silent Knight Sweetheart- you took the words right out of my mouth. I agree 100% with you baby. :)
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Posted by Wed Dec 2, 2009 5:23pm PST
Report AbuseTo Silent Knight: Your statement about GOD being love and love not being based on good intentions but in truth is simply
S U P R E M E!
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Posted by Sat Dec 5, 2009 10:14am PST
Report AbuseHe sounds like a retard to me. Drop him like a hot potato!...You deserve better!
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