What's the Best Age to Get Married?

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  Posted by Doktor Eevol Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:08pm PDT

  Well then this just goes to show how some men's attitudes really are toward women. Unless you are upper class, hot, and rich - you can't expect much more than a glorified bonk buddy.

  And they say women are picky. Heh.

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  Posted by another hockey fan Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:20pm PDT

  The following applies to both men and women. My thinking is in your 20's you should be out there finding yourself, your place/purpose in this world and getting financially put together. Having a good time with your friends, travel (if you can or have a huge desire to) and essentially enjoy single life with some long term commitments, but nothing that ends up in marriage. If you get married in your 20's, the survival rate of your marriage declines drastically with each passing year.

  In your 30's is a good time to get married. You should not have any regrets because you didn't have your "freedom" time (however you want to define that) and hopefully have some money in the bank and a good stable career/job. You won't be so confused emotionally about yourself and more mentally prepared to handle the big C's (communication, children and commitment).

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  Posted by Jenn Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:21pm PDT

  wow- makes me glad I am married to the man I am .... all the guys about seriously don't even deserve to have a date!

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  Posted by legalchick12 Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:30pm PDT

  I got married when I was 26. Huge mistake. My hubby was a certified mama's boy. We made it two miserable years before my divorce. As traumatic as it was, I am glad I got married to get divorced. I learned so much about myself during that trying time in my life. Now, I never settle for being a man's surrogate mommy, and met the love I was meant to have. We love each other so much we plan on tying our own knot. He was married before as well, so we both know what to expect, what we want from marriage, and we communicate about problems maturely and reasonably. He is 41, and I am 30. 11 years' age difference was the key for my guy and I. It's enough time that we have things in common, but a generational gap as well, so we have a ton to discuss.

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  Posted by Judge Rufus Peckham Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:31pm PDT

  So horriby stereotypical: what's the best way for women to trap men into a proposal.

  The fact is, men marry too young. Men need to be damn sure she's long-term material. Women initiate the vast majority of divorces -- and it generally happens when they realize they can be better off finanicially just living off the guy's child support payments (you know, the payments that are supposed to go for the child). And then if the man falls behind in making payments due to reasons beyond his control (like, oh, the recession, for one thing, which has hit men much, much harder than women -- but you won't read that in Shine), if she's angry at him, she can have him jailed.

  Guys, do I speak the truth, or do I speak the truth?

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  Posted by erin Mon Jun 8, 2009 2:57pm PDT

  Oh I have a big problem with people getting married too young. I came from a small town where alot of girls married their highschool sweet hearts, gag, and have children, at 22. Many of the girls i knew got married right out of highschool, never went to college and those that did, we all knew what college meant. A 2 year college where you go so you can basically be a secretary and find some guy. I went to college as an Fine Arts Major and found that being single was awesome and made me feel strong. I know that the girls that got married out of those marriages only one will probably last, they were/are in love but even myself after 4 years of schooling changed so much if I had been married we would be divorced by now. People change so much i think that waiting till after you have started a career been out on your own and really found your self is when you should get married and not when your overbearing mother thinks it's a good time. I found the love of my life at college, we are waiting for many reasons, not because we will change and break up, because it's way too soon we are too young to be a Mr and Mrs. Marriage is hard and before you get married you should live together for a while then if you really think it's going to work start depending on each other and merging some of your finacial obligations, shared bills ie cable, gas, electricity, heating etc... I think men, especially a certain generation of men think that life is a game and that why ruin the game by settling down with a nagging wife. I think many forget what marriage really is, it's a contract between two people declaring their undying love and devotion to each other and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. Men especially are not brought up to really respect marriage the way a woman is, also women are taught that that is their special day the only one they get to play at being a princess, women also forget what it's about when you flash a big sparkly diamond and a white dress their way. I think that younger generations are not being brought up to respect marriage and that it's not about the wedding day it's about a life together. Younger women I think get fooled by all the sparkle of the wedding and a big flashy ring and men are scared off by having to be tied down to one woman.

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  Posted by Natalie G Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:11pm PDT

  When you are marrying for the right reasons....not b/c you are scared to be alone and everyone else is.

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  Posted by kw Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:23pm PDT

  I also came from a small town and most of my friends from school either have a child(ren) or have been married and divorced. There are a few girls who have been with their "high school" sweet heart married with children and love every moment of that. Me on the other hand I have a "plan" I'm 25 years old and I have always stated I would go to school (check) get a great job that will make me financially stable on my own (check) buy my own house (check) and now I'm lucky enough to have found the perfect man for myself and I cant wait to get engaged and married and then start a family ( at 30) but me personally I think you should get married when you are ready! Its a huge step for people and I hate when i hear about people being divorced. I have always told my boyfriend I will not get divorced. Marriage is a commitment and I hope I can give my husband and my children (when I have them) the life that my parents gave me growing up. So i think its up to you and when you are truly ready.

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  Posted by Brianna Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:23pm PDT

  there is no right age, it's right when you both feel it is and are ready to support each other in every way through the good and bad... if that's at 22, then so be it!

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  Posted by Leah Mon Jun 8, 2009 3:25pm PDT

  I was 18 when I got married. Husband was 22. No big flashy ring or huge princess wedding. We got married because we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

  This August is our tenth anniversary, we have four kids and are still going strong. Yes, we argue. Yes, we have changed. But we have changed together and it has made us a stronger couple. Commitment is what is key, not the age of the couple. People change all through life, not just in their 20's. You can lose your job, have a child die or any number of tragic things no matter what age you get married.

  For better, for worse,

  For richer, for poorer,

  In sickness and in health,

  To love and to cherish,

  'Till death do us part

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