Who's fault are affairs?
user
I had an interesting conversation with my friend that got me
thinking, if your significant other is cheating on you, isn't
it a sign that you're doing something wrong? Before you attack,
let me explain. Yes, the cheater is partially to blame considering
they succumbed to temptation (and maybe they never approached their
partner about the problem). And yes, the mistress is partially to blame
since they knowingly became involved with a taken person (unless,
of course, they didn't know in which case they are not at
fault). There is a reason the s.o. is cheating, though. Chances
are, something is missing in the relationship and they're
seeking it somewhere else. Maybe they're not getting the amount
of sex they would like (a stupid reason to cheat, but a reason
nonetheless) or, a better reason, maybe they're not getting the
emotional support they require. I know if someone cheated on me, I
would sit down and try to figure out what I was not giving them.
But, that's just my view.
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Comments 1-3 of 3
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Posted by Sun Nov 1, 2009 11:46am PST
Report AbuseTo my way of thinking, the one who cheats is solely responsible. Whatever his or her reasons are, they have choices for how to react to those reasons. Having an affair is just one choice. There are other more constructive choices that they could make. In my opinion, we are alone responsible for the choices we make - to blame, even in part, someone else or some set of circumstances is a cop-out. It may identify our motivation, but it does not provide a justification.
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Posted by Sun Nov 1, 2009 12:41pm PST
Report AbuseI'm not trying to justify cheating, I'm just looking at WHY people cheat and how the whole thing starts.
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Posted by Mon Nov 2, 2009 7:35am PST
Report AbuseWhy is it a blame game? There is just something wrong with the RELATIONSHIP in general...period. And both parties need to figure out what it is because BOTH parties are not getting what they need out of the relationship.
That said, obviously the person who cheats has less character that his unknowing significant other and chose to deal with the relationship issues in a completely inappropriate way.... that decision is ALL on the cheater and that betrayal is solely his/her fault.
Cheating involves two things: 1) The underlying issues that caused the unhappiness and friction in the relationship (notice i didn't say cheating!), and 2) The actual act of betrayal (the affair).
The relationship issues are generally both parties problems. However, I really have seen relationships that even the relationship problems stemmed from one person and THEIR issues (which of course become the partner's issues as well).
Comments 1-3 of 3
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