Love + Sex

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  Posted by MIKE. Wed Apr 2, 2008 6:54pm PDT

  Im gunna Qoute you "We were booty call friends" What did you expect to happen? When you felt the dropping off of his booty calls you should have left him alone from that point on... unless you felt the need to ask... "Are we finished or are we going to be more then friends?" As for his acting like that... in his mind it was the crueist way he could muster up to get rid of you and he was successful at it because you got pissed and he got what he wanted.In My Opinion "Booty Calls" are what they are and should be so kept.... however,i do not approve of them simple because of things like this happening.

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  Posted by Patti Wed Apr 2, 2008 7:05pm PDT

  OMG, I'm so glad you posted that! I thought I was the only one. At least he told you SOMETHING. I had a "friend with benefits" and, yes, that was the agreement in the beginning. Had we cut it off a few times after our first encounter, things would have been fine. But we both let it go on for four months. He worked overtime to not get close to me, and had lame reasons for that too. Then around Dec. 30 he just started ignoring me. We had plans to get together on Jan.1. That never happened. He just became very distant. I gave him several opportunities to just tell me but he wouldn't. First he said it was because he had a safe sex talk with his son. HUH!?!??!?!? What does that have to do with anything? He ignored my texts and I asked him several times what happened. I even asked him if he wanted to stop having sex. He said NO. I finally accepted the fact that it was over and I would probably never know why. But I tried to keep the friendship alive because he's a nice funny guy. I had a good time with him. I did mention going to see a movie together , and he said I wanted a boyfriend and dates. HUH!?!?!?!?!? Again, another excuse. I mentioned going away for the weekend. He said only people in serious relationships did that. So I got the hint that he didn't want to be seen with me in public. I accepted that and kept seeing him. He treated me like a cheap slut. Every time we were done, he would barely talk to me, pretty much ignore me so I would leave. He washed the sheets every time too. One time I fell asleep at his apartment, he turned the T.V. up really loud so it would wake me up. Why didn't he just wake me up? Now, I don't think I'm in love with him or anything. In fact, after the first time we got together, I didn't want to see him again. I don't remember what prompted me to go back. I think it's the rejection. I'm not used to rejection. I think had there been closure, I don't think I would have hung on as long as I did. Instead of just telling me, he kept giving me hints. VERY immature, especially for a 45 year old man. Now that I'm out of the scenario, I can look back and think about how crappy he really treated me. And because I'm friends with him, I know how he treats other women. Knowing how he treats other women really tells me what kind of a person he is, not one I want to be with. He just flew across country to cheat on his new girlfriend with his California flame who is married! I asked him if his girlfriend knew he was meeting her, he said no. Hmmmmmmmmm, someone I want to be with? I think NOT!! You don't want to be with that one either!! You deserve better and so do I.

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  Posted by Theory Wed Apr 2, 2008 7:39pm PDT

  Really, that sounds like it was part of the truth too. He "told" you the thrill was gone when he started bringing other women into bed. You started to back out of it to try to maintain your friendship, didn't provide friends as a substitute, and he lost any interest in talking to you. He didn't respect you, and when he didn't have a use for you he tossed you to the side.

  Not all men are like this, but how a man is going to treat you is going to start with how you enter a relationship with them. It sounds like you are interested in something more than booty calls, which is why you got attached. Maybe the next guy should start off as something more.

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  Posted by mom Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:39pm PDT

  Well what about my situation.I spent 7 years in a horrible relationship.So,I decided to take time and become celibant not on purpose but there was no one special for me to feel compelled to screw.Well I met this really intelligent guy through my son mentorship program and he and I spoke often regarding issues involving my son. When he first showed up @ my door and I saw him, I was impressed. I kept it strictly professional do to my son and his relationship for over a year but conversating with him almost daily about different issues going on with my son as well as other things we'd discuss sometimes for hours. Well all this time I had a crush on the guy but never persued for obvious reasons. Close to a year had come and we were talking as usual and he invited me to his birthday party and I was on cloud 9 but careful never to reveal how I felt because I was good @ reading to much into things ecspecially when it comes to men.Well I extended the kindness and invited him to my birthday party and he came with his best friend (a guy) from college.The night of my party he invited me out again we had a wonderful time. Well one day when he dropped my son off to my home I suggested that we go to a movie and he sorted hinted that his friend was having a party, so I didn't get a phone call so I left it alone. Aggitatedby this I did not all for several months and by then my son had graduated from his program. He called and we talked and he asked why I hadn't contacted him and I told him how busy I was and that he hadn't contacted me. After that initial phone call we began to conversate again on a more intimate level about us everything and anything but all this and NO SEX. After a year and some change I finally blurted out in one of our conversations that I wanted to invite him over for dinner and he was okay with that.We had a lovely evening dinner and Wii Play nothing else but I told him I liked him and he asked me how long I felt this way so I told him the truth,so he stated the feeling was mutual but still NO SEX. Memorial Day he called and I decided to turn it up a knoch so I called him back and stated "I just knew you were going to ask 2 see me." well that night he came over and we kissed for hours but NO SEX. One week later I slept with him he went down town and everything and he did stay the night and had breakfast in the morning(my son gone of course).Well that week after we slept together I did not call him one time not once and he called sounding puzzled telling me how much he cares for me and values what we have whatever that was. Well after he called me I called him and we made plans to get together that weekened again it was heaven after 2 years of not having someone, a mate, a confidant.Well after that weekened I called and asked him why it would take someone 4 days to call someone they claim 2 care for and I went on 2 explained 2 him that U never let 2 or 3 days @ the most go by without calling a ladyif just to say hello. It's rude and distasteful. I went on 2 ask where were we going if anywere and he stated that he is working 2 jobs,going 2 school and raising a son of his own and does not have time give me or any woman the attention they need and deserve. So,I told him I am also a professional juggling a full time career, volunteer work, and a single mother as well and that his words were an accuse and a copout. I went on to tell I am no mans toilet and that was my cue and hung up.I will not be used and discarded. Now although this is good practice for high self-esteem. It has been three weeks and I have not phoned and neither has he.I am hurt because I really thought I had someone of character and I miss our talks as well as his company but I will not stand down. signed prideful and alone

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