I am not talking about the excuses - you know - "she and I have nothing in common", or "the sex was no good" or "she let herself go" or "he doesn't know how to be romantic" or whatever. I am talking not about why the relationship went sour, but I want to know why people lie to one person so they can be with another. Why not face the issues and make a decision about how to handle them instead of lying and sneaking around?
I think people who do this are cowards. They are not able to face the consequences of their behavior, so they lie. People who lie or cheat are very insecure. They are representing themselves as someone different than who they really are. They are masquerading as someone they are not.
People who lie are doing this to manipulate another person into doing something they wouldn't do otherwise. If you are lying to or cheating on your spouse, you should seriously think about why you are such a coward and can't be truthful. The real you is the person you are when no one is looking!
Why do people cheat?
- by , on Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:48am PDT
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Posted by Sun Jul 27, 2008 8:43am PDT
Report AbuseYou are so right about the insecurity. For some people, marriage just isn't enough. They constantly need to be reassured they are wanted/needed/adored/etc by another person. So, they cheat and make up all of sorts of faulty logic why they did. Playing the victim is high on that list.
Marriage is not a Disney movie. There will be problems. That is a given. That doesn't mean it's time to bail because the waters get rough. Because regardless how much forgiveness and how much counseling a couple goes through later, that marriage is never the same.
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Posted by Sun Jul 27, 2008 10:43am PDT
Report AbuseFirst time to comment. I don't know if anyone can comprehend why someone cheats unless they cheat themselves. I think it takes a certain mind and personality to do this. I have tried to understand this for about 14 years now and have not come up with a rational reason.
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Posted by Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:35am PDT
Report AbuseYou are 100% right, cheaters are cowards, But thats not why they cheat. take it from me, we don't wake up one day and say hey Im going to cheat on the person I love no matter whats going on in the relationship. Sometimes there truely is no underlying reason. and its not manipulating some one else, I wish I could say I never cheated or had to be put in such a position. I truely think that sometimes we lose something vital in our relationship or with in ourselves and feel that its a very difficult place and position to be in, its never the intention to hurt anyone and ultimately the one whom is doing the cheating just might be hurting the most at the end of the day. Don't jump to throw stones there might just be more to it than just the black and white of it.
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Posted by Sun Jul 27, 2008 12:02pm PDT
Report AbuseHuman nature. We're "taught" monogamous behavior from birth, but it is truly human nature - not to cheat - but to be with more than one partner. Nobody "wants" to be the bad guy, unless they simply don't care, but we're "taught" that cheating is bad which is why we lie to keep a certain perception in the others eyes.
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Posted by Mon Jul 28, 2008 7:42am PDT
Report AbuseI believe that the reason that some one cheats it’s because they are not happy in the relationship that they are in. In my case I cheated because I liked the attention the other person gave me. I strongly believe that one should try the best at keeping that spark on and try to be spontaneous with your spouse. I did tell my husband that I cheated on him and now we are getting a divorce I do believe that one should appreciate everything that the other one dose. If you show that u do appreciate the little thing it would make everything much better in a relationship and I have been with my husband for 6 years and well all that is over because of the attention and appreciation slack.
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Posted by Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:41pm PDT
Report AbuseI am sorry to hear about your divorce? It amazes me that men don't have the capacity to forgive, yet we woman some how rise to the occasion? And this is the main reason most woman don't confess or get caught?!!!
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Posted by Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:56pm PDT
Report AbuseI agree with you when it comes to cheaters being cowards. I think most men who cheat are also so selfish they want to believe they "deserve" to have affairs. It's a total ego thing. I think the reasons for cheating totally depend on the situation. There is no set reason and most cheaters will have a million justifications for their actions but who really knows if they are valid or just what they have to tell themselves in order to make it "right" in their own minds. Every situation is different it's hard to know what exact things forces a person to cheat.
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Posted by Tue Jul 29, 2008 4:10pm PDT
Report AbuseCOWARDS OR NOT!
Cheating reasons:
#1-sexual relations,preferences,& such
#2-lack of communication
#3-not listening to the other sex
It's not as complicated as most make it to be!
Stop letting life issues get in the way of what you once had!
Listen,talk & have lots of sex!
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Posted by Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:22pm PDT
Report AbuseI have been cheated on and I choosed to stay but how do you let go of all the pain?
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Posted by Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:39pm PDT
Report AbuseAs a science teacher I will say that MOST humans are not monogomouse or we would only have one partner in our lives
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