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And then, the photo of Rihanna’s battered face was leaked. And then the detailed police report emerged that documents the brutal bruising and choking. And then we heard she might be taking him back. It's just insane!
But here’s another tragic story to add to this saga – yesterday’s New York Times ran an article about how many teen girls actually blame Rihanna for the whole incident, and expect her to stand by her man – even if he did in fact abuse her.
“In a recent survey of 200 teenagers by the Boston Public Health Commission, 46 percent said Rihanna was responsible for what happened; 52 percent said both bore responsibility, despite knowing that Rihanna’s injuries required hospital treatment,” the article states.
Worse yet, some girls are using the reconciliation story as more rationale for forgiving Brown. One girl quoted in the story said, “So he shouldn’t get into trouble if she doesn’t feel that way. She probably feels bad that it was her fault, so she took him back.”
Are you kidding!? I don’t know about you all, but when I was coming up, I seem to remember a lot of reinforcement from women as well as men – both in my life and from public figures and celebs (“Burning Bed” anyone?) – that it was definitely not OK to have violence in a relationship. And since women are overwhelmingly the victims of domestic violence, we females were encouraged to support those women who step forward and report that abuse. That kind of support is what helps empower all women who are abused to do the same and to hopefully leave that guy who's treating them so poorly.
So, why is this new generation of girls so quick to not only let Chris Brown off the hook but also crucify the victim, a fellow woman?
A lot of it is surely pure immaturity. The story indicates that many of these girls already resent Rihanna for being with this guy they crush on, so they’re already viewing the story “through a lens of forgiveness.”
But the most eye-opening reason of all is that young women don’t really view man-on-woman domestic violence as off limits. “[Teenage girls] see themselves as sharing equal responsibility with boys. Parity, not sisterhood, is the name of the game,” the article states. “During a presentation about dating violence to ninth graders at Hostos-Lincoln Academy this week, one girl said, ‘If they hit you, smack them back. Both my parents say that to me.’”
Whoa! Now, I’m all for equality, but that perspective seems a little extreme. Don’t get me wrong; if a woman left the kinds of injuries Rihanna sustained on a man, she should get arrested, too. But it’s simply wrong to condone beating and choking someone so ruthlessly, just because the other person could have fought back. And if rumors are true that he didn't just "hit" Rihanna but routinely abused her. I wonder if that makes it any worse to these girls.
Now, I put it out to you ladies of Shine. I’ve seen a lot of different opinions about Rihanna and Chris Brown via various user posts (like this one and this one and this one), but what do you all think about how teens are reacting to the story?
What does this say about our teen girls' views on abusive relationships? Do you think young women should be more outraged? Should they be more supportive of a fellow woman being treated this way? Tell us what you think.
Related stories:
Age and fame don't excuse Chris Brown or domestic violence
The Chris Brown-Rihanna saga: Things only get worse
How are Chris Brown and Rihanna affecting kids?
