Why Men Dont Date Fat Girls

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  Posted by Sat Oct 4, 2008 1:00am PDT

  If you lose weight do it for you not for an ... hole. Even top models have flaws, so see how much overweight you are. see if it is getting dangerous or if not , don't even care. if someone loves you , that person has to love you just the way u r

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  Posted by Anna Amazing Sat Oct 4, 2008 9:26am PDT

  Seriously big girls can do it better ;)

  I used to be 400 lbs. And now I'm averageish. But, trust me there are guys that LOVE us curvy girls. If you're close to CA I'll set you up :)

  Don't worry girl!

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  Posted by Bradley L Sun Oct 5, 2008 10:33am PDT

  First of all I am 6 foot tall 235 pounds and i work out and i am 52. I used to believe that thin or medium sized women would like me more as i think i look pretty dam good now. Not true in my view,no action from them. When i was heavier I got more action than now. Figure that out???? I was shooting the breeze whith one of my friends and said if I don't get some soon I'm going to get a fat lady, he just chuckled but its true to some extent. A little bit chubby is okay with me as long as it does not spill over the side to much if you get my drift. I have to say if i had a friend like that now she could be my friend with benefits if she wanted to be. I used to have a friend like that and never took advantage of it, to my dismay now because I have not seen her in years. Keep going girl one foot in front of the other, this is just a thought but that Nutrasystem diet that they advertise on TV seems to work and might solve your problem.

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  Posted by Care Sun Oct 5, 2008 12:42pm PDT

  After my seperation and giving birth to my son, I put on a lot weight. (I've never been skinny) Well, I decided to start dating and while I had some rejection because some men weren't into big girls, I eventually found myself with lots of suitors. There are a lot men out there who love big girls. Even now that I'm re-married, I still get asked out quite a bit.

  A lot of men are just plain immature. While they are making fun of fat women, they are also making fun of skinny ones who aren't picture perfect, too. Look towards more mature men, because the emotionally maturity of a 20 something women is about that of a 30 something man.

  I think self-confidence has a lot to do with it. I have always been well put together and comfortable in my own skin. I think many men find that a very attractive quality. Skinny or fat, insecurities are a turn off. If you are feeling hideously fat and ashamed, than men are gonna pick up on that.

  If you love yourself for who you are, the rest will follow...

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  Posted by elizabethhope47 Mon Oct 6, 2008 9:39am PDT

  Dear Mia,

  I really feel your pain because I was in your place years ago. All I can say is what I would tell my younger self.

  When I was your age, I was 50lbs overweight (I'm 5'8" and weighed between 185 to 195 lbs). Everyone told me that I had a pretty face. I knew women who were just as heavy or heavier who had boyfriends or had gotten married. Unfortunately, I didn't have their outgoing (or even at times "bitchy") personality (guys seemed attracted to this). I was shy and low-key.

  When I was in high school, I was 125 lbs at one point and I think really pretty. But still, the guys that I liked seemed to like these chubbier, outgoing girls who were popular. When I gained weight in college, I felt really ignored.

  After college I would go out for happy hour after work, thinking night after night miraculously a guy would approach and like me. Actually I wasn't really into the bar scene and was too shy to approach guys myself. At clubs I would be embarrassed when it was obvious that a guy danced with me so his friends could pair off with my pretty friends. He was "taking one for the team" by dancing with me.

  Unfortunately I was just as superficial as those guys because I too wanted to date a cute guy who was physically fit. I tried to date a guy who totally clicked with me as a friend, but I couldn't get past his weight. So I can't be a hypocrite condemning other guys for not seeing past my weight to see my inner beauty. Attraction for me is essential in relationships too.

  Anyway, I would have made better use of my time in my early 20s if I had skipped out on going to clubs and bars (which always made me feel worse afterwards for being ignored as the "fat chick" - and I ended up binging on junk food coming home). I would have been happier pursuing active hobbies that made me grow as a person (joining a kayaking club, race-walking, volunteering at pet shelter).

  I should also have dedicated myself years agoo to going to A) the gym; B) Overeaters Anonymous (I have an addiction problem with food - I eat to excess to cope); and most of all C) Church. I wish I became a true Christian years ago because praying to God in the Name of Jesus Christ (and truly trusting in Him and stop worrying) does make miracles happen.

  When I was heavy all these years, I thought that most guys were just gay because they wouldn't even look my way. But when I finally started to lose weight and went down to 150lbs, all of a sudden guys came out of the woodwork! That's exactly the phrase that comes to mind!

  It makes me sad about all the time lost. When you're young, you can be okay-looking and still be so pretty because you're young. At the time I didn't realize this because I just hung out with people my age. But as you get older, you notice how beautiful young people's complexion is compared to others.

  I guess the reason I didn't make those changes then is because I wanted to be like my friends. I felt that if I didn't go out and hang out like they did, that I would be missing out. But I wasn't being true to myself, and hanging out at a meat market just made me feel worse about myself and thus made me want to eat more. I also felt lied to when my friends optimistically thought a cute guy might like me in spite of my weight. I lived in an area where single women vastly outnumber single men. So realistically speaking, guys had their pick, and I wasn't aggressive enough to approach guys either. I'm a little more old-fashioned and prefer to be pursued.

  So in the end, I discovered that the best way to be pursued is to devote attention to improving myself - not just physically like exercising and dealing with my food issue, but also spending time with people, hobbies and places that I am passionate about. Most of all, what helped me become thin was faith in God through Jesus Christ. The 12 Step Program was originally based on Christian principles (now God is replaced with "Higher Power" to accommodate different faiths).

  I too sought counsel from psychologists, but I found that these sessions just made me feel worse because I kept focusing on what was wrong with my life. What did help get me out of a severe depression was 3 months of Prozac (I refused to take any more because of my erroneous belief that it might be addictive). But 3 months was all I needed - it fixed my biochemical imbalance and I felt normal again (not super happy mind you, just not super depressed).

  Sorry for this long post - just wanted to share my story with you in the hope that it might help some. I'll be praying for you, Mia.

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  Posted by elizabethhope47 Mon Oct 6, 2008 9:59am PDT

  By the way, I also have hypothyroidism. But I found ways to psyche out my metabolism (like not eating carbs after 2pm at times, alternating high-calorie days with low-calorie days and switching from walking to jogging back to walking, etc).

  I can so relate to feeling like a nun at that age. Now in hindsight I would have given myself a 6-month period of abstaining from dating while focusing on my health. At that time it probably would have felt like forever, but I wish I would have done it because in my 20s my emotions were like a rollercoaster. I would have freed me from the pressure I was putting on myself that was getting in the way of me getting better. Because I have a tendency to become a hermit, I should have joined an outdoor adventure club or some type of organization that focuses on acquiring or honing skill with other like-minded people (with no "singles" emphasis either because I discovered "singles groups" can be meat markets too!).

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  Posted by street angel Mon Oct 6, 2008 1:35pm PDT

  First and foremost, you have to love yourself and yes does include flaws too.Now if you want to be a more heathier you, then lose the weight for you and not on the hopes of getting a man or being with a man. Now, I'm not a size two, but I am loving who I am in all aspects of life. I love to dance etc and I have lot's of male's in my life by choice. Who would have thought huh...I just chose to be myself and outgoing. The man in my life accepts me for who I am size and all.He's 6'1 and brown skin, with tatt's and dreadlocks and he has a six pack, with my name tatted on his arm,sexy as hell. With this man, he has made me feel as though, I was the only woman in the room, when we were at a New Year's Eve party.The only thing,I can suggest is for you to love yourself first, because if you dont love you first, then how can you expect someone else to be attracted to you. Please pick up this book by Michelle McKinney Hammond-Sassy, Single and Satisfied. It helped me and look what I have. Good luck, it get's better .

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  Posted by B E L L O V E D 2 1 Sun Dec 7, 2008 8:41pm PST

  Whoa girl, your obsessing way too much about the weight and taking what one superficial dumbAzz has to say about weight. yeah there are guys who dont like big girls but there are also guys who love big girls. You need to start being healthy because you want to live a long life but not because you cant find love without becoming skinny.

  I am also a big girl and I have faced some painful situations such as yours. I am all for things like gastric bypass surgery and doing what it takes to get your health in check but i have found that facing some of the struggles that heavy people face, it makes them kinder. Kindness is a majorly important facet that people overlook. Try to step back and look at the whole picture. you can sometimes find out exactly who is going to stick by your side by how they treat you when your down. Stop bashing yourself, stop being ashamed and get out there and mingle darling. There are plenty of girls out there getting love and they are not a size 8. Take Care hun.-Rachel.

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  Posted by HectorP Sat Jan 3, 2009 11:02pm PST

  its prolly not from you being fat.you're prolly jus ugly.theres hot fat girls and hot skinny girls.then theres ugly fat girls and ugly skinny girls.look at paris hilton

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  Posted by Derrick Thu Jan 15, 2009 6:46am PST

  Get out there! Date and flirt. There are plenty of men (that are not a**holes or creeps) that like curvy women. I am one of those men and have been married to my beautiful curvy woman for 12 years. I'm only 31! So start searching.

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