In Pictures: Why Mrs. Madoff And Mrs. Sanford Haven't Called It Quits
"I am breaking my silence now because my reluctance to speak has been interpreted as indifference or lack of sympathy for the victims of my husband Bernie’s crime, which is exactly the opposite of the truth," she said in a statement issued by her attorney.
"From the moment I learned from my husband that he had committed an enormous fraud, I have had two thoughts: first, that so many people who trusted him would be ruined financially and emotionally, and second, that my life with the man I have known for over 50 years was over."
Over.
But over in the sense that the mansions, the penthouses, the yachts and the Pierre Michel salon hair-color touch-ups every six weeks are history? (Indeed they are: Last Friday, Madoff agreed to forfeit $80 million worth of assets that she had claimed was hers, leaving her with $2.5 million.) Or over in the sense that the divorce lawyers will be called in?
The history of women who have decided to stand by their man--or at least their marriage--is long. Lori Milken, whose childhood sweetheart, Michael Milken, was found guilty of six felonies, including fraud and securities racketeering, and who paid $1.1 billion in fines and settlements, bristles in the face of her husband's guilt. She reportedly told her three children, "People don't like change, and they're trying to get rid of your father, and if you look in your history books, you'll see that people who have tried to make change have had this happen.''
Others, such as Silda Spitzer, Elizabeth Edwards and, most recently, Jenny Sanford, all of whose husbands' extra-marital affairs led to high-profile, highly embarrassing betrayals, have said they put family first when deciding whether or not to work on their marriage. As for Hillary Clinton, well, there are many gradations of forgiveness.
The reason why some marriages survive deception and betrayal may have to do with how some woman "choose to reassess and take a broader view" of their relationship, Dr. Scott Haltzman, a Brown University psychiatry professor and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women, said in an interview with the New York Daily News last month. "A woman may go with her immediate gut instinct, which is to leave, or weigh the options that tilt towards staying with her man."
Ruth Madoff admits the situation is daunting: "I am embarrassed and ashamed. Like everyone else, I feel betrayed and confused. The man who committed this horrible fraud is not the man whom I have known for all these years."
In Pictures: Why Mrs. Madoff And Mrs. Sanford Haven't Called It Quits
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