Why the attraction? Opposites?

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  Posted by magdalena Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:31am PDT

  Perhaps, in the beginning, but reality checks in. The romance is strong for now. But later, you may need help from him to help you with your kids. He may even be an added responsibility. Say, he moves into your place with your kids. That's an extra plate, extra laundry, extra person added on the whatever space you have at home. Hmmmmmm.....after awhile, you may ask him, "Who are you?"

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  Posted by kelly Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:47am PDT

  You have a few good points. Not looking for someone else to take care of. I sure don't need another "child" even tho I would never let him move in. Absolutely not! I'll never need (or accept) help with my kids.... I'm too independent for that. Like I said, I love my life. I see my kids as the highlight of my day. They are first no matter what. This guy just has me all "wrapped up" and I don't know what it is about him.

  I will be especially careful tho and take your advice to heart. At this point, I wouldn't want a FT man in my life.... or my kids.

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  Posted by Outbackbottom Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:57am PDT

  You may have a world of different friends, enjoy different things, and may be different in many ways. But the reality of it is you both live in the same world. It's seems to me that your letting those differences get in the way more than your letting the relationship flourish. Just because he's different than you doesn't give you the right to judge him. Like magdalena said you have your own and he is younger than you, but if it ever comes to the point where you two move in together. Just remember that you may own the place and the space he sleeps, the food he eats and so forth, but he still deserves respect. Otherwise if your going to be controlling or demanding it's only going to push him away.

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  Posted by Outbackbottom Sun Apr 26, 2009 1:12am PDT

  I don't know why it's showing as you, but I posted the comment right before this one.

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  Posted by kelly Sun Apr 26, 2009 1:22am PDT

  I'm not a controlling person but I can see what you mean. You have me thinking about my own insecurities and that's what I need. I wonder if opposites attract but maybe I'm afraid that... even if they do... it will only be for a moment. I would never want to push him away. My last relationship had that issue... I was too controlling and would never let him "in". This guy is just amazing to me tho and I don't want to mess that up. There's so much more that I haven't told you all... more reasons for me to push him away even if it's not what he wants. I'm just so confused. I listen to my head and never my heart. Odd....

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  Posted by kelly Sun Apr 26, 2009 1:31am PDT

  I see it as Outbackbottom.... do you see it different still?

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  Posted by Outbackbottom Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:23am PDT

  No I see different now. I guess it just took some time. Maybe a glitch

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  Posted by Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:12am PDT

  Don't over analyze it, live it. What have ya got too lose (esp. if the kids like him).

  Sometimes you really don't need a reason; It just fits.

  Live a little babe.

  Attraction is sooooo over diagnosed. Why perpetuate that kind of mentality. Are you looking for a thesis or happiness?

  DO IT!!!!!!

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  Posted by Tall Mom Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:45pm PDT

  I was recently in a similar situation. I have 2 kids, and extended family live with me too. Have a thriving career and a lot going on. Met a guy (my age) but with a young personality. Great at first - helped me get back in touch w/ the little girl in me. Great sex, great banter (deep conversations limited to life experiences - he couldn't talk politics, religion, or other challenging subject matter). He's a dad too - kids all same age and all got along. Family time very easy. Couple months in we go away for a few days - first time alone - and the gaping hole between our responsibilities, achievements, and intellect became very apparent. We (I) ended it shortly after. I still miss him - and wish I could live more in the present. But he wasn't lifelong material, and with kids involved, it felt reckless to continue. Still not sure I did the right thing.

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  Posted by spartan07 Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:14pm PDT

  well,just wanna ask some advice..when we're apart from each other,and we dont see each other for more than a month, he used to have sex with other women,while im still waiting for the day when we could spend time with each other again,and when he broked up with his girl,he alwayz decided to have me back and he said,he missed makng love with me..i dont think he loves me, he's just intrested of the sex thing...what am i gonna do?

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