Why We Need To Rethink Romance

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  Posted by mommaofsun Thu Jul 2, 2009 11:30am PDT

  Romance??? What the heck is that??

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  Posted by ladybella04 Thu Jul 2, 2009 1:10pm PDT

  Here's one possibility: "It's cheaper to keep her". (Gross, right?) Those are the exact words of an attractive, successful, older, married acquaintance who cheats on his wife and was hitting on me. Maybe grad school degrees mean more money/success and people then stay in unhappy marriages to protect their assets. I know another man who didn't divorce until he had managed to use joint funds to purchase a house that was solely in his name. People with more education or money aren't any nicer than the rest of us. I really think it's about the cash. If you have more money, there is more financial risk in leaving.

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  Posted by Doktor Eevol Thu Jul 2, 2009 3:12pm PDT

  First of all, "romance" isn't just about marriage. Romance is a mood and environmental ambience. For heaven's sakes.

  I agree with ladybella. Most guys I've observed are obsessed with money - making it, handling it, and keeping as much of it to themselves as possible. If women were to be as tight gripped on their purse strings, she'd be called selfish and stingy. But everyone is soooo understanding when MEN are self preserving with their bank accounts.

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  Posted by Anissia Fri Jul 3, 2009 12:52am PDT

  I would have to agree with lady bella as well.

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  Posted by Mark Brooks Fri Jul 3, 2009 1:01am PDT

  The prevalence of adult and casual dating sites and the rising trend of women joining them, may also be driving the casual dating trend.

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  Posted by Billy Z Fri Jul 3, 2009 6:05am PDT

  I agree with Mark Brooks, and would like to add that all women think they are getting into internet "dating" as a way to meet single men, but married men go on those sites looking for easy lays and single horn dogs live for using the internet first, for porn, and secondly, to find a cheap way to meet and score sex with a desperate girl...

  Oh, yes, and BTW, any man who spends more than ten minutes a day online is surfing porn and sex sites...dating, whatever... Men are just naturally following the little head around... That's why they act so stupid!

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  Posted by Billy Z Fri Jul 3, 2009 6:07am PDT

  mmmm, turkey sandwiches! Makes me think of men... Turkey...yes...sounds like a man...and sandwich, because they are constantly eating, trying to fill the empty space in them where their love and compassion are supposed to be...

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  Posted by Raymonde Fri Jul 3, 2009 8:09am PDT

  I beleive you have a lot to sort out. Fisrt thing is that your man is not sincere and if this is not the basis of your relationship therefore you need to find out once and for all the real truth and take a final decision.

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  Posted by Jackie D Fri Jul 3, 2009 10:22am PDT

  I have to agree that this post is more about the institution of marriage than about romance. Frankly, I think that as our culture has moved away from arranged marriages (where the main impetuses to marry were money, security, and status) and moved towards marriages for which the only impetus is "love," the culture has attached a fanatical mythology to the concept of what "love" should be. Our culture has come to see "love" as a rather fairytale-like state that strikes only those lucky enough to find it and needs no work to flourish. I suppose the thought is that if the only reason to marry is because one is "in love," "love" must be extraordinarily important and special. We overlook the fact that marriage is also a business arrangement, a partnership if you will. In marrying, a couple is joining a household in which they must share space and in which each person must take some responsibility for chores, child-rearing, financial stability, and all of life's little banalities. It takes a great deal of effort and work to make a marriage successful. But because we are a) no longer forced to remain with our spouses once we decide to marry and b) consider "love" and marriage to be embodied first and foremost by that intense infatuation we first feel upon beginning a relationship, a feeling which cannot last for a life time, couples in our culture tend to give up on a marriage too quickly or not to put enough care and attention into nurturing it. They feel eventually they have just "grown apart" because they don't feel the same "love" that they once did. But if couples entered into marriage with an eye towards both companionship as well as a mutually beneficial partnership -- one that requires work to survive -- then we might see the divorce rate go down.

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  Posted by Kate Fri Jul 3, 2009 2:44pm PDT

  Because of the American dream.To have everything and the more that comes with it.This dream has turned out to be a nightmare.Now all we can think about having the supposed "best" of everything.We cannot be content with where we are,what we have,who we have and anything else we have.We've always been fed this giant lie,that in order to succeed we MUST have the best of everything.This keeping up with the Joneses has spread to our marriages,our families,our very hearts and minds.Like a hereditary terminal disease,we've had it since we where old enough to understand the word MORE.This selfish lifestyle has us constantly thinking,"I need more and I need better",always striving for satisfaction that will never come.Gratefulness is a thing of the past,an unknown word to our hearts ears.Just being grateful for this man or this womans simple love is unheard of.We are always wishing they where better,that they where more.And all this time missing out on the joy life has.Missing out because of the constant strive for MORE.

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