Rex is out buying a microwave right now. He also fixed our servers last week, added new batteries to the kids mini-computers, replaced our fridge and did all the homework on our new dryer (including dealing with the delivery.)
As for me, I am the one who remembers the birthdays, the phone
calls to people who are ill, who is getting a divorce, who is
having a baby, who is getting remarried for the second time
(sometimes the third) due to, but not only because of, a baby.
Without a doubt, Rex is the ying to my yang. And as is the case
with all things yingy and yangy, this combination is either the
best thing since peanut butter and chocolate or Bill Clinton at a
Republican convention.
Some of you might believe in fate this idea that two souls are meant to be together and complete each other perfectly. I will admit that I buy into some of that also or else I'd not have married my husband. But what I don't buy is that just having a soul mate is enough. I've found that without the appreciation behind our differences, our ying and yangs become like jagged puzzle pieces - poking each other in the ribs rather than creating a beautifully connected circle.
I will emphasize, yet again, that differences do not have to be a deal breaker but can actually be the best thing that has ever happened to your relationship forcing you to grow in more ways than you dreamed possible.
The real key to surviving the turbulence of growing pains is wanting to appreciate your husband. This might mean even when you're so irritated you'd rather watch Hugh Jackman on You Tube dance in gold pants as The Man From Ozwhile your husband reads The Ten Keys to Data Center Management. (Nope, I am not possibly describing myself.) It means having faith in the man you married ten years ago even the current one is making you want to join an ashram in India. It means remembering what your husband is great at, not what he is not so great at.
I guess, without sounding too corny, I'm feeling so blessed this week to have Rex in my life. And, without sounding too self-congratulatory, I'm elated that I've found the wisdom to change my attitude if I can't change Rex. And would I really want to? Because if I did, Lord knows I'd find something else about him that I'd want to change. You could say that makes me a needling woman, but I'd like to think that's just human nature.
Now if you'll excuse me, if I'm not going to fix Rex, I better get to work on fixing my own crap. That should only take, like, my entire life, which will give Rex plenty of time, when I'm off contemplating my inner psyche, to read boring, dry I mean interestingmanagement text books, in peace.
Love you, Rex.
Posted by Andrea Frazer
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