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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Will Men Think I'm a Cheap Slut?

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I want to have a sex life. The last few years of my 24 year marriage have been sexless. I have not dated, nor had any of those tantalizing 'firsts', like first touches, since I was 21 years old. I'm lonely for that kind of attention. I'm quite pretty, have a nice figure, and am clever and fun. I don't expect to have any difficulty finding dates. What's the catch? I don't want to fall in love and be desperately serious and committed to a man, but I don't want to be a slut, either. How do divorced women have a fun, sexy dating life without getting categorized in a man's mind? It seems like there is so much focus on how women can play men to make them want to commit. How does a woman who has to re-learn the dating game stay single, meet and have some degree of a sexy relationship with a variety of men, without being seen as cheap? Will they not want me because there's no silly chase and catch game? I need a sneak peek into the male mind; some frank comments from men. Don't be gentle, just tell me what you think.

Related: dating after divorce

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Comments 1-7 of 7
  • CrazyDoug's Avatar
    Posted by CrazyDoug Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:48am PDT

    Trust me on this one, you aren't categorized as a slut for your past partners, but rather for how you act that night. We men have a very in the moment psyche, as long as you don't play too either extreme (over-aggressiveness or extremely timid women tend not to draw the right kind of attention) you will not be seen as a slut. You would most likely meet more judgemental eyes from women who know about your "getting around" than men. We don't care who you've been with, as long as you're with us and you don't tell us about other guys. The only way you get categorized after meeting a guy is to talk about your category. So don't, and you will find plenty of men out there looking for semi-formal relations, if you know what I mean.

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  • Linda Jean's Avatar
    Posted by Linda Jean Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:35pm PDT

    hey CrazyDoug - you seemed to think my butt was gonna be ok, too! It sounds like I should stop struggling with these things and just go see how I feel. I admire the male psyche's ability to be in the moment; it's a state of mind people some pay money to be taught to attain! Thanks for taking the time.

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  • Tom's Avatar
    Posted by Tom Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:12pm PDT

    Honestly I wish I could find a women that only wants a sexual relationship. Your not going to be seen as a slut just a women you knows what she wants. There are men out there that just want a good dinner companion and to have a nice intimate evening. I know that's what I'm looking for.

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  • CrazyDoug's Avatar
    Posted by CrazyDoug Tue Aug 18, 2009 5:05am PDT

    Glad I could be of some help

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  • Linda Jean's Avatar
    Posted by Linda Jean Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:50am PDT

    CrazyDoug - You wouldn't live anywhere near NorthWest Connecticut by chance?!?

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  • CrazyDoug's Avatar
    Posted by CrazyDoug Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:05am PDT

    I'm about 5 states too far west, I'm afraid. I live around western Michigan.

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  • CrazyDoug's Avatar
    Posted by CrazyDoug Tue Aug 18, 2009 7:29am PDT

    My email is Doug_215@yahoo.com if you would like more advice or someone to keep your spirits up, or just another glimpse into the male psyche. I'm still young, but I have a knack for honesty and directness. In the meanwhile, good hunting!

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Comments 1-7 of 7

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