Wives, Take This As Your Virtual b---- Slap

From the Community…

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  Posted by Angel Morbid Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:35pm PDT

  Not a wife, but the title of this post drew me in. I'm a sucker for no sugar-coated, no BS posts.

  Very brazen, very "ballsy" and I like that.

  But I'll stay true to my relationship status and not comment further because I'm not a wife and barely have any relationship experience so I can't honestly relate.

  Great post---keep it up

  -inferno

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  Posted by Piince Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:07pm PDT

  ok dear i have had u i and very happy to hera u say this it means things will work out soon all u need is to make up your mind on what to do that will help as a woman and do them so that u will be happy ok hope to see u on line soon and do take good care of your self ok as they say health is wealth ok have a nice day hope to meet u on line soon

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  Posted by Nkele Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:28am PDT

  Maybe because I am from South Africa where we are still following tradition and trying to get out of that norm that a woman's place is in the kitchen, I must say i am very lost. I do not understand what the writer is complaining about. Who are we to dictate how other people live their lives? I was raised and taught that a wife is a play-maker in the house.

  As a wife, you do not directly set the rules because we all know how men are. If you allow him to beat you up, he will but if you take a stand the first time he does it, he will not lay a hand on you ever again. Here's the reality, he slaps you the first time and comes back to apologise saying that it wont happen again, that is total b*** s*** and deep down in your heart you know that. Call the cops on him and let him xperience life in the cell for two or three days. He will think twice next time he wants to slap you raound.

  Use your power as play-maker and you will see that you are going to live the life you want to live.Have a happy life as a wife, it's not as bad as other people say it is...

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  Posted by Sarah Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:11am PDT

  First off Ladies and Wives: Materialistic obsessions is 'NO NO' In a marriage/ Relationship if you spend your whole life thriving off of materialistic wants and "Needs" and has to have everything perfect( what i call OCD) then your basically screwed/ setting yourself up for failure! When you enter a relationship/ Marriage you enter it with love right?! NEEDS are to come before WANTS... I can't stress enough that females thrive and feign for materialistic 'CRAP' (I.E: 200 Pairs of shoes, 30 purses, 15 pairs of ridiculously large sun glasses, MP3 Players, *Narcotics*, Fake jewelry, UGLY Accessories,ETC) this is just a fraction of the things that the female population spends their $$ on. Just because Miley Cyrus is rocking the ugly preschool thick plastic red bracelets doesn't mean we have to empty our Pay-roll to fit in... Face it the 'Non-celeb' world will never and can never afford 1/2 of what they(celebs) wear, do, have, are. Some were MEANT to be a 'Celeb' and some of us are MEANT to be a ' Middle-class Suburbanite' I don't really care about hurting peoples feeling I'm delivering the COLD HARD TRUTH.

  And since why should we worry about Iran women, We focus too much on Iran, Iraq, whatever. We need to worry about us(America). I'm assuming all of you readers know about Cigarette prices raising(McCain's fault to that) Gas prices going up ( Iraq's Fault to that) Our world is becoming a wasteland( Everyone including I fault b/c of factories, Distilleries, Plants( power,and steel), and were chopping away at our Natural resources and before long were SOL.[ no I'm not a HIPPY i have a mind and it works unlike $85% of the world's population] Back to the beginning subject, We(America) Have Battered women who have been around ABUSE all of their lives and don't know what to do b/c they saw as they were little. We have Children in America that need to be ADOPTED! STOP ADOPTING FOREIGN CHILDREN ! Woman In America have the freedom to speek, think, love, go as they please, and etc. Where Iran women lack in that field. WE NEED TO FOCUS ON AMERICA BEFORE WE FOCUS ON OTHER COUNTRIES!

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  Posted by Linda Jean Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:49am PDT

  the comments seem to be getting a bit remote - I had a 23 year marriage and most of it was better than i had ever dreamed love could be, but then he started blaming me for everything, getting into a serious control thing ("you should, you should") I'm partially disabled and haven't earned enough money to satisfy him (I would live in a cave and eat store brand peanut butter to just have the love be good).He conked out on the better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health. I worked and worried myself to a frazzle trying to please him, and nothing was good enough. I was excluded from his social life and he wouldn't factor what I wanted/ needed into anything: it was all bout him. My role was to make his life easier regardless of how it hurt me, with no appreciation. He's got serious anger/resentment, power/control issues. I deserve better, and filed for divorce. Thankfully he's a very good dad, and my teenage sons recognize that I deserved to be happier and though they admire many things about their father, they are wary of the control thing and the blame thing. I COULD HAVE STAYED AND PUT UP WITH THIS TREATMENT FOREVER, BUT THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF A FINE WOMAN.

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  Posted by Mathilde W Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:55am PDT

  Hmm, I think some do not understand what he writer is saying. She says that maybe we women complain too much and need some reminding about the stuf that truly is important. To keep it light she asks us to tell what annoys us but with a sense of humor about it.

  What drives me nuts is when I explicitly tell him about plans we have, and he fiorgets and double books. Aaaarrgghhhh. He is also a geek, loves star tek and transformers.

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  Posted by Billy Z Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:37am PDT

  wow, you sound mean and bitter and overworked and blaming others because you over spend and don't love your children enough to be THANKFUL to have them over the summer. It sounds like you are the one making everything a chore. You write up your own dilemma, blame other people for being immature and weak and give them tips on how to improve? No sugarcoating? Boy, I'll say... You sound mean...get over your anger and take a chill pill...don't blame us for Iranian women's problems. We didn't create them and we can't eliminate them...so slap your self, mean person.

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  Posted by Briana Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:43am PDT

  I am a wife, and I am gloriously happy with my life. It has not been an easy road, but I live in a place where being a survivor is an option, and I have taken advantage of this and made it this far, against staggering odds and the dire predictions of those closest to me. I have a wonderful husband. He is an IT specialist (that's computer geek to those not in the know), loves science-fiction and fantasy, is the most purely intelligent human I know, and is also loving, caring, sensitive and gentle. Add to that responsible, practical, honest and highly capable. He's a damn good father who puts family before work, even in the case of his stepson, a difficult child he has always loved and cared for as his own. And he loves me. Crazy, irrational, dysfunctional, bi-polar, schizo me. He doesn't baby or manipulate. He just cares. A full 15 years of marriage worth of caring, and loving, with both tenderness and toughness. He's the only lover with whom I've experienced an orgasm, and I'm 50 years old; we still have mind-boggling love-making sessions. Complain?

  I do not socialize with wives whose favorite pastime is husband trashing. So many of these women reveal much more about themselves than they ever intended to while ripping their partners to shreds. Once I know that this is a woman's habit, I avoid her company. If one's marriage is so revolting, then walk away. In this country, it can be done. I've been there, twice, so spare me any diatribes telling me that "it's not that easy" or "I don't understand". I supported both of my first two husbands financially, emotionally and physically. They in turn were emotionally and verbally abusive, irresponsible and treated me like a blow-up doll. I walked, both times. I survived. No one, not even my mother or sisters, really knew what went on in either marriage. I didn't whine or complain, I acted and had done with it. I am grateful, and joyous that I have what I do today, and I will take any little perceived faults without complaint just to have my partner in my life.

  And Sarah-what are you going on about? Your comment doesn't seem to have any relevance to the article as it stands. However, I will try to tackle your post.

  I am not a materialistic person, and I don't support such values in my family. I don't care what celebrities do, as to me they live in an entirely different dimension. I don't value their thoughts, ideas, style or politics, just because they are famous. I don't care much about what other people think of me, beyond common courtesy and decency. I don't use alcohol, tobacco, illicit pharmaceuticals, or prescription meds inappropriately. I am, however, OCD. This is the acronym for "obsessive-compulsive disorder", which is a form of mental illness that can be clinically diagnosed and treated, not a state in which one craves things because one is materialistic. Just saying.

  As to why people care about women in the Middle East and Sub-Saharan Africa, that should be clear to anyone who even vaguely accepts the idea of human rights. Most of these women live in poverty so terrible that it is unimaginable to Westerners. They are subject to beating, stoning, and murder at the slightest perceived infraction of the law. These infractions are things that we American women so take for granted that we would not even notice them. They have next to no medical care. In many countries, women are forced to undergo female genital mutilation, including infibulation. During the latter procedure, the clitoris and part of the labia are removed, sometimes w/ a sharp stone, or a bit of glass, with no anesthesia or sanitation, then the girl is sewn shut, leaving a tiny opening. Regular urination can take ten minutes, and menstruation is agonizing. On her wedding night, the woman is sliced open by her husband with some rough implement. Sometimes, once pregnancy is achieved, she is sewn shut again until birth. Am I getting through? This is why people care. No one should have to endure that kind of cruelty.

  As for adopting outside the country, United States rules and regulations regarding adoption border on the ludicrous. Birth mothers who have abdicated their rights, coming back months and sometimes years later to snatch happy children from their adoptive families. Refusal of adoptions because the child's race or ethnicity was different from the adoptive parents'. Nightmarish waits and soaring costs and even questions of religious matching, when all these people want to do is give some child a chance to be loved. All children deserve a chance. They don't ASK to be born, then abandoned. If the parents don't care about the child's race, ethnicity, or country of origin, why should you?

  I'm not a "hippy" either, although I'm not sure exactly what you meant by that. I'm not a supporter of the current mess in Iraq, although my heart and soul and full support all go out to our brave and beautiful people in that sad situation. However, if individuals and groups choose to go out into the world and seek to help and improve life for those who are oppressed and danger, such as the women of the Middle East, I am fully behind their efforts.

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  Posted by Rowdygirl Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:09am PDT

  you sound like you hate your husband AND your kids.. where else would a 5 & 6 year old normally spend their summers, if not at home?

  wow.. why did you get married and have kids in the first place?

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  Posted by KcJane Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:23am PDT

  I hear you and understand perfectly! While things aren't always great it's better than the alternative of having nothing and struggling in a war zone for freedom and rights.

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