Wives, Take This As Your Virtual b---- Slap

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  Posted by Yankeeluver Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:47am PDT

  I am not a wife, I have never even had a boyfriend, but I see exactly what you mean. I have known women whose chief object in life is to control everything, that's what drives me NUTS, the women who feel like they have the power to change everything in everyone's lives and that no one else can do it. They have this insecurity when they do not have this power. My grandmother is like this, if she found out that my parents were getting divorced or if I was going out with someone, she would butt in somewhere where she shouldn't be and try to control the situation. She also complains about everything, even the stuff she doesn't understand but she acts like she does. That is usually the only character flaw that drives me NUTS!!!

  Sarah: Why is the rising of cigarette prices bad? I thought that Cigarettes were bad for you, or do you seriously believe that people buying more and more cigarettes will help this economy. Are you that desperate for a good economy to kill people in the process of fixing it. I'm sure you've seen someone's body deteriorate because of the deadly toxins that are placed into cigarettes as I have. I am not really a fan of McCain, but that was one the good things he did as a Senator.

  And you think that this nation is a wasteland, have you ever been to Central Maryland? Trees, thousands of trees lining every road, Smart Growth is thriving in this area, loads of free space that is used for farming or just wide open fields, over two dozen natural parks dot the area, filled with trees, fields, lakes, and green recreational facilities. The schools are also green, they recycle and encourage recycling in all classes as well as green habits. The state requires emissions tests to ensure that the cars on the road are not releasing any harmful gases. Some gas stations are placing green ethanol into the gas they sell. And north of Central Maryland in Central PA, there are Wind mills everywhere, dotting the mountain ranges and providing power to many people in PA, most of the coal mines that used to dominate Pennsylvania have closed down, because the world has found so many other power options, such as wind, hydro, and nuclear. Do you seriously consider that a wasteland?

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  Posted by cindy Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:24am PDT

  There are many times I told myself I need to step back and look at how I am acting. I can be very selfish and mean sometimes. I ask myself, why? when my marriage is not bad at all and I have a wonderful husband and son, why do I act like I do. I am trying to be more "in the moment" and enjoy what I have now, not what I think I want or need. You got to be happy with what you have. Otherwise you are just plain miserable.

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  Posted by X10 Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:33am PDT

  I agree with you that in this country we are typically spoiled and have no idea what it truly is to have hardships. It comes down to just being happy. Appreciate what you have in life and never take it for granted. When I feel myself being overwhelmed or burdened, I talk to my husband. We get each other thru and usually after we talk, I realise there was nothing to worry about in the first place.

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  Posted by Chasity Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:49am PDT

  I totally understand where you're coming from.. I am not married nor do I have kids. I do have a bf, and I do want kids.. but there are somedays when I want to choke the life out of him.. I would never do it simpley bc I LoVe him to death. he is everything to me. I get that your article is about women who complain about how BAD thier lives are, when really if they stop and think, they have the american dream.. isnt that what all women want??? Maybe not all but most... That's what I want. seriously though, ALL couples fight, and ALL relationships get hard sometimes.. lord knows mine has! However if you KNOW that you love that person, then it will work out, you can make it work in a relationship, if you really want to.

  Oh and as far as the comment above... if you would learn how to read all of what she wrote and not just the little section up top.. She doesnt hate her kids..or her husband.. read the bottome part and open up your one tracked little mind..

  Good article hun!!

  chasity

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  Posted by JennA Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:47am PDT

  Let's clear this up,

  I'm pretty sure that Andrea is talking about middle and upper middle class wives (which, is pretty much who buys Good Housekeeping..hello) who can often complain about how much house work and male co-habilitating is draining. The title might be a little much..but nonetheless. Anyway..I'm married..with small children..sure people complain..but I'm prepared with some solutions:

  Andrea and friends,

  Think: Your man's inner 20 year old could actually help.

  They like games and movies, assign them one of the kids to play or watch with...

  They drink at parties, be a nice wife and be the one to continue to serve him drinks for tactful monitoring, when he's drunk enough to mistake you for another woman, drive him home and give him a one night stand, what's better than that?

  Jen

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  Posted by Barbara J Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:58am PDT

  So many of us are blessed with loving families. Too often we worry what other people think or we try to "keep up with the Jones". When we give that up and are grateful for what we have that is when we find happiness. Good Luck Ladies:)

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  Posted by instrumentjamlord Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:37am PDT

  Other than disliking the term "b!tch slap" -- which means hitting a woman to shut her up, a profoundly disrespectful thing to do -- I agree with your attitude. An awful lot of us seem to forget just how good we have it. (A point I make regularly to my kids when they get obstreperous about how hard it is to clean their rooms because every surface seems to be covered in...uh...toys.)

  There's nothing wrong with the occasional whine and cheese festival about how bored or annoyed you are at the moment, as long as you keep it in perspective. I know more than one divorced couple, where I want to grab one of the participants by the collar and tell them "Look me in the eye and tell me with a straight face that the last half a decade of strife and heartache is actually preferable to what making your marriage work would have looked like."

  LOL at the five o'clock shadow. Make him shave before he gets lucky. I doubt he will kick up a fuss. :)

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  Posted by Andrea Frazer, Good Housekeeping Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:04pm PDT

  Hi all - You guys are funny. I adore my kids. I know I'm lucky to be married. I sometimes feel like the luckiest person alive to get to stay home with my kids and write about my life. I apologize if you aren't keen enough to read between the lines and see this... I mean... that I wasn't clear enough.

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  Posted by cutebanker Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:08pm PDT

  when i first started dating my boyfriend i had been through a long long line of bad men. and in the midst of my bad dating history, i had to listen to my married/dating friends go on and on about some BS their man did or didn't do to their liking. or how one was going to dump her boyfriend if he didn't propose soon. i would sit back and listen to all of this and think WOW if any of these women even knew what it was like to be in your 30's and single and doing it all on your own! I vowed i would never complain if i met someone who made me happy.

  And i haven't! my boyfriend is wonderful and respectful and takes care of me in the way i feel i deserve. i told him very early into the relationship that so many people just feel their current life isn't ENOUGH. if you're dating, it has to be serious. if you're seriously dating, you need to get engaged. if you're married you have to have kids. if you have one kid, you have to have two. you need a bigger house, a better car, etc etc. I looked him straight in the face and said i'm happy just the way things are. I'm just happy to HAVE someone in my life.

  if we get married or have children or move to a bigger home, so be it. that's only gravy on top of the happiness i feel today. i've never asked for anything more because i feel so blessed with what i have right now.

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  Posted by Paula Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:59pm PDT

  I myself have been abused verbally, physically, sexually, and in every shape form and size of people in my life. I amsurviving cancer umongst other ailments of my life. I had to give up my children to save myself. I have a 16 year old and a 13 year old. And to tell you the truth, I have done what I had to do to survive. I don't blame amyone for the position I am in, in my life. I am a survivor and I thank God that I am not crazy after all the things that have occured in my life. I thank God everyday that I still care for people and that I do what I can for anyone that needs my help.

  I know that we are all different and we all come from different walks of life. Nothing can change the fact that we all have the need to succeed, but at what cost do we really need to make that success happen? God puts people in your life to help compliment the person that you are, not to judge them for being there. I think that understanding goes a long way. I pray for all of those that need a little more understanding. I didn't say feel sorry, I didn't say judge or compare, I said to help them not hurt them. You are the example for you children. If you can't display these qualities for them to pick up on, the don't be mad when they don't turn out to your standards. We are only what we allow ourselves to be. I chose to survive. And live each day as if it were my last.

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