Love + Sex

Monday, November 30, 2009

Would You Pick Out Your Own Engagement Ring?

The boyfriend wants to propose to his girlfriend, now what?  The guy picks out a ring, plans an amazing proposal, goes down on one knee while the girl cries her eyes out, and they live happily ever after, or until they file for divorce.  No, just kidding about the divorce part (hopefully).  Rewind a bit, let's talk about "the ring".  What I have noticed is that a lot of my girl friends pick out their own engagement ring.  

I suppose to some people, this is just a natural progression for the relationship; you date, and eventually the couple just know it's coming.  This process of picking out a ring together makes sense; she gets the ring she wants; he gets to prematurely know she will say yes, and she is guaranteed to get a ring she loves.  If he is going to shell out a large sum of cash, and she has to wear that ring for EVER, it only makes perfect sense that she should love it.  This seems the most logical and practical thing to do for all the modern day busy yuppies.

But, what about the romance of the proposal process, that sacred tradition?   The look on a girl's face when her boyfriend pulls out the ring, and says those four magical words, "will you marry me?".

With many couples moving in together to save money on rent, there are very few surprises of married life to look forward to.  You already know what will tick you both off, and you already been there with the novelty of coming home to your honey everyday.  The only exciting things left are the engagement, wedding, honeymoon, your first home, and your first child.  I understand that time is precious nowadays, but is the convenience worth the trade-off of a great surprise?  How about consider the following, and see if you can gather the information needed to ensure you get the right ring, and the proper surprise?

  1. Call her best friend or sister, and ask them to find out for you.  They can be very casual and subtle.  A close friend who is also in a serious relationship can ask her to go ring shopping together.  Apparently a lot of girls do that
  2. To find out her ring size, look in her jewelry box, find a ring she wears on the ring finger or the middle finger, and bring it to a jeweler to get the size.  You do not want to get a ring that is too big because resizing it might damage the prongs encasing the diamond, and the chance of your diamond falling out is higher.   Be smart about it; if you get a ring she wear on the middle finger, but is loose on her, size it properly
  3. If you have married or engaged friends, casually make a comment about how great that friend's engagement ring looks, and get a feel for her reaction
  4. Pay attention to when she looks at magazines or store windows.  If she pauses for a bit, take note of it; it will guide you in the right direction.

There are some girls who would definitely like to have to a say in the ring they get, and you probably know her best so go with your gut.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-8 of 8
  • Voice of Reason's Avatar
    Posted by Voice of Reason Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:22pm PDT

    When we decided to get married, she did not want an engagement ring , nor a traditional wedding ring. We went to a jeweler who was a family friend, and she found a ring that SHE wanted.... After 24 years we still are together...

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  • cutiefromny's Avatar
    Posted by cutiefromny Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:35pm PDT

    hell no....hopefully when he decides to ask me...he will know exactly what i like and my size...i mean isnt that part of getting to know each other?

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  • Maya's Avatar
    Posted by Maya Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:36pm PDT

    Yes, I would pick out my own engagement ring. After all it is something that I have wear for the rest of my life.

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  • Laurel's Avatar
    Posted by Laurel Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:36pm PDT

    My fiance' and I picked out my engagement ring together. He had asked me to marry him without one, but he knew how much I wanted to have a say in my rings that he waited until we could go together! One of the best days of my life!!!!!! LOVE YOU JOSHUA!!!

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  • Ms. Crys*'s Avatar
    Posted by Ms. Crys* Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:39pm PDT

    Welll speaking from a single person. (who hopes to be engaged in 2010) lol. I would like the man to pick out the ring, it symbolizes what he would like to see *(as the wife to be) annnnndddd....hopefully he would have been around you long enough to know what you like

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  • Carrie's Avatar
    Posted by Carrie Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:59pm PDT

    i think the man should pick the ring. Im traditional. If i guy loves me he can make the effort.

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  • casy's Avatar
    Posted by casy Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:08pm PDT

    I think it would be good to go together and pick one out. Or at least get sized for the ring and show him what types you like, giving him your choices of what you like. A wedding ring is special , some thing you well wear the rest of your life. You want it to be that one special ring you well love and reflects you and not some one eles taste. Taste in Rings differ from one person to another and you want the one you well be happy with for a long, long time.

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  • Nisi's Avatar
    Posted by Nisi Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:14pm PDT

    I would love the "cuteness" of a suprise engagement, but when you laready live together and have talked of marriage; I wouldn't mind picking the ring myself. I rather know what I'm getting, and my man and I can go shop for it together.

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Comments 1-8 of 8

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