I have never been shy about my struggle with religion. In On Your Knees, Boy I wrote about wanting Rex to go to church with me and his reasons for refusal. (I have ultimately accepted them for the sake of our marriage and his feelings on the subject.) Along the same lines, at my BabyCenter gig, I receive comments daily on how God helps women through the toughest of times, from incest to losing a child to dealing with a crazy husband.
As a Christian, I struggle with finding peace with a faith in Jesus but remaining open to others who don't believe as I do. My problem is not in people differing from me, but in the fact that I am so accepting of it. Is this somehow turning my back on my religion? And yet, in my heart, I simply don't believe that others are wrong for praising God in ways other than myself. I also see why people might not believe in God at all. We all have different backgrounds, so how can I say my way is better than someone else's?
As Fools and Sages wrote in a very thoughtful piece last week, Thinking: It Hurts Sometimes, But You Gotta Do it. His post was on the elections. And while it's clear that he is no Republican, he does give very valid reasons for why he feels the way he feels. He encouraged everyone to do the same and not just vote for a party member blindly.
In case you're wondering what this has to do with sex, I will state that many of my decisions in life, including sex, stems from religion. I was raised to not have sex before marriage. I was raised to not cheat. I was raised to not have an abortion. I can't say I followed advice #1, but I have yet to cheat (nor plan to), or have an abortion. But here's where I get all confused. Just because I think it's not right to cheat or have an abortion, does this mean that other people must feel the same way I do? And more important than emotions, must they act as I do?
This leads me to the upcoming elections. By voting for a pro-choice candidate (not saying I am, not saying I'm not), would this be turning my back on my faith?
Many staunch Christians will undoubtedly say, Yes. Any life, whether 5 months or 2 days, may not be eliminated. The number one commandment is 'Thou Shall Not Kill.'
The issue is that many people don't believe a one week old fetus is life. They don't consider it murder. So is it their choice (making me vote pro choice) or is my duty to vote for pro-life candidates?
We live in a country where one of the founding principals was a separation of church and state. Many believe that allows all of us praise God in a way we find fulfilling (or be atheist - whatever!) If we are indeed to divide our feelings on God from our government, many feel this means we should allow everyone to make their own decisions on abortion and marriage and not relegate it to the government. One friend reminded me that in the Bible God gives us free choice . If this is the case, many believe it's everyone's right to make that choice in the way they seem fit.
I sometimes wish I didn't think about this stuff so much. Even five years ago, my concern was making babies and enjoying my husband. And yet, now, everything's changed. Maybe it's I'm getting older. Maybe I want the world safer for my daughter and son. Maybe I'm just losing my mind. All of the above?
It's a slippery slope indeed and one that doesn't seem to have a simple answer. I'd love to hear any opinions on the subject. Just please be respectful. And, as Fools and Sages wrote, thinking hurts sometimes, but ya gotta do it.
Posted by Andrea Frazer
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