Love + Sex

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

You're Not Over Your Ex

Here are signs that you're not over your ex (brought to you by www.afroglitzmag.com):

Parting ways with someone doesn't necessarily mean you no longer desire to be with them. Too often people break up, but never completely get over it. To make things even worse, extra baggage is carried into the next relationship, rather than being left at the door. This can lead to unwanted drama like heated arguments, and cheating. Here are some signs that show that you're not over your ex.

1. Every new mate has similarities to your ex.
Scenario 1: Everyone you date looks like your ex. Your first love was a tall, muscular red bone with wavy black hair down his back, so your current boyfriend is a muscular, red bone with long, wavy black hair. When your best friends start mixing these guys up because they feel they look too much alike, there's a problem.

Scenario 2:
The name of your last three exes were all "Jonathan." How ironic. Out of the millions of people there are out there, you still manage to end up with someone named Jonathan. (It looks like your friends don't have to worry about name slip ups on that one.)

Scenario 3: Lets say that you're living in Arizona, and you hooked up with a thirty-five year old guy who lives in Bumpass, Virginia. (Yes, this is a real place.) After three years of being in a long distance relationship together, you break up. After the breakup, you took it upon yourself to log onto the internet and search for all the thirty-five year old men in Bumpass, Virginia. Six months later, you're in a relationship with another man in his mid-30's, who lives in Bumpass, Virginia. Why? You don't have any relatives there. You're not all that fond of the location. Your job stays in Arizona, so it's not like you go on business trips there. Why are you constantly hooking up with guys from Bumpass, Virginia? I'll tell you why; you want to feel closer to your ex.

2. You replace the face of every new partner with the face of your ex.
His name is Quincy, but you slip up and call him the name of your ex. In order to stomach his being around you, you imagined that he was your ex because your ex is who you're longing for. (This is what led to the name slip up.)

3. EVERY song played on the radio reminds you of them.
If the Fat Boy's All You Can Eat song comes on, and it drives you to tears as you reminisce of all the times that you and your ex went to all-you-can-eat buffets, there's a problem. This song isn't even about relationships, and you're still tripping.

4. You try and make sure that your ex never forgets about you.
Even when your ex has moved on, you feel the need to make a presence so that they don't forget about you. If you see your ex in public with their new mate, you may feel the need to walk up to them and talk about your new life, and or leave comments on their profile like "Your girlfriend/boyfriend is really lucky…" Why do you need for them to remember you, unless you plan to be with them again? Move on.

5. You try and find ways to make your ex jealous.
To make your ex jealous, you call to tell them how you met someone new, how the new guy is so much better, and how you're finally over them. If you were truly over your ex, you wouldn't feel the need to rub things in their face.

6. You act like you're still together.
Three months has passed since your breakup, but when you see your ex in public holding hands with someone else, you throw a fit like they're cheating on you. You're no longer together. Move on.

7.  You don't want to date anyone else but your ex.
You're single not because you need time for yourself, or because you need to sort things out, but because you feel that you should be with your ex. Even after the fact that they moved on, you still wait for them. If you keep waiting the way that you do, you'll end up being that old, single lady with the chihuahua.

8. You bring your ex up in every conversation.
If you're constantly bringing up your ex's name in conversations more than the Catholics chant "Mother Mary" at Mass, there's clearly a problem. (It's even worse if you keep referring to your ex in conversations that you're having with the current person you're dating.  That's rude!) It's only a sign that you never fully got over your past relationship. There's clearly some issues that you need to resolve on your own; you can't depend on others to resolve them for you.

9. You refuse to let go of reminders of your ex.
Rather than tossing them aside like old broken furniture, you decide to leave all the pictures of you with your ex hanging up on your walls, along with the giant, dusty "I Love You" teddy bear sitting next to your bed. When your new mate tells you that you should get rid of them, you get all defensive. This is because deep down, you refuse to completely let go of your previous relationship.

10. You hang out with your ex more than you do with your current mate.
You were just using your current mate as a bench warmer for your ex. There is no reason why you should be going out on outings with your ex more than your current partner. If you are, why are you even together? It's a waste of time.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 10
  • marie's Avatar
    Posted by marie Fri Jun 12, 2009 2:33pm PDT

    Wow that is so true and i didnt even notice it was that bad until I read each one of these lol! Ecspecially numbers 1,3,4,5 and 7

    Report Abuse
  • ToshaM's Avatar
    Posted by ToshaM Fri Jun 12, 2009 5:11pm PDT

    WOW I relate to every single one, thats horrible.....

    Report Abuse
  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Fri Jun 12, 2009 9:25pm PDT

    Oh my what do we have here?Grumbling,mumbling,and complaining will not usher

    you to the next level.(lol)Man,you are a tripp.Are you wondering?What has she

    got to be happy about?What's the cause for that smile on her face,and that

    twinkle in her eye?Well I'll tell you my friend.I walk by faith,and not by

    sight.My life now consist of peace,love,and happiness.You and your mate should

    try it sometime.God didn't make us to live in defeat and misery.He made us

    to laugh,enjoy life,and have fun.I have forgiven you my friend.Its time you

    forgive yourself.God let us meet for a reason.I dnt know your reason for all

    that you put me through,and to be honest.Thats behind me.I don't have time

    to dwell in the past.My present and My future is way to bright.All I know is

    that I am happy my friend,and I hope you are too.I am not scrambling to find

    the answers anymore.I am at peace with myself.Its not the journey that kills

    us,its our lifestyle!

    Take Care Sweetie,

    Nicole(SMILE)

    Report Abuse
  • afroglitzmag.com's Avatar
    Posted by afroglitzmag.com Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:41am PDT

    Jackson24nicole, who was your post in reference to? I'm confused.

    Report Abuse
  • angel_cake's Avatar
    Posted by angel_cake Sat Jun 13, 2009 4:13pm PDT

    Ok....LOL WIERD BUT i CAN RELATE TO ACTING LIKE THIS THREE MONTHS AGO TO NUMBERS...one and eight... That was three months ago. Now, I have someone new. And don't get me wrong it's times where my ex does pop up in my head everyonce in a while, but i quickly dismiss and think about why we broke up and why it could never work. I'm sure he thinks of me too, but the more I focus on me and my main man I don't have to worry about the same break up happening to me again. Oh and I forgive my ex. I just hope and pray He find the right girl that fits his lifestyle.

    Report Abuse
  • Cris's Avatar
    Posted by Cris Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:47pm PDT

    I guess I haven't gotten over my ex. Well I have to just start trying a little harder. LOL Watch out guys I am looking to get some help in getting over the SOB. LOL

    Report Abuse
  • Macdonal's Avatar
    Posted by Macdonal Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:22pm PDT

    wat goin on in hey

    Report Abuse
  • aLLiiE's Avatar
    Posted by aLLiiE Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:21pm PDT

    hmmmmsz

    mi x said 2 mii..

    ii have been spendiin tym wt yu..

    bk ii miisz mi gf..

    wtf?!?! doesz dhat mean?

    yet...wen wii spnd tym 2gtha iit n each othasz armsz...

    hmmsz iim konfusz!

    Report Abuse
  • Mizs.Thick Wit it's Avatar
    Posted by Mizs.Thick Wit it Tue Jun 16, 2009 7:22am PDT

    I liked the stories and everything was true about the whole Ex thing I do all that stuff and feel that way wow...........................

    Report Abuse
  • Neffertidy's Avatar
    Posted by Neffertidy Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:26pm PDT

    fudge,i am so stuck in a rut. fart i am not over that COW. o well shyt happens! lol

    Report Abuse
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