The greatest danger to a woman's health is a man. Over 31,000 women were murdered by their boyfriend or spouse from 1976 through 1996. Every 9 seconds a woman is physically abused by her husband. 3.9 million women are physically abused by their partner. 20.7 million women are verbally or emotionally abused. Seven percent to 26 percent of pregnant women are abused. Two-thirds of women were hurt by someone they knew; 28 percent by their husband or spouse; 35 percent from acquaintances; and 5 percent from other relatives. According to the National Institute of Justice in July of 2000, over 503,000 women were stalked by their partner in the United States. This is a crisis in this country. This issue is a major health concern for women of every age and income status. Many women in high profile marriages are abused, not just women from poor incomes and backgrounds. Abusive men come in every color and income status. Dating is not only frustrating but can be deadly.
So what can a woman do to prevent domestic violence? The answer to prevention is the early identification that a man has an abusive personality. Many women report that the signs were there when dating, but they ignored them or discounted the behaviors. If women can see problems in the first dates, they can end the relationship before it gets abusive.
Signs of a Violent, Controlling Type Personality:
Uncontrolled Temper: This sign may or may not show up on the first few dates. Give a man some weeks of dating before you get serious. Be aware and pay attention. Does he get mad easily? Does he show road rage? Does he get nasty if you are late for a date or take too long getting dressed? Does he get angry if you question him about his life or past?
Extreme Jealousy: Some women think it's cute or flattering until he hits her. Only then does she realize the danger. Does he get mad if you smile at another man? Does he accuse you of seeing someone else or going out on him? Does he get mad if you have male friends? Does he get enraged if he can't reach you on the phone or finds you not at home? Does he try to separate you from your friends and family? Does he check your phone logs and voice mail? Does he check your emails? Does he ask for your passwords to your emails and computer?
Intense Fear of Abandonment: Is he insecure with no reason? Does he seem to be afraid you will leave him or break up? Does he want all your time and get upset if you want to do something else? Does he suffer from low self esteem?
Past Violence: Does he get in verbal and physical fights easily? Has he been in jail? Do you have knowledge he has been abusive to other women. Men who abuse women will give you that same treatment if you go with them long enough. You are at risk if he has abused others.
Reckless Behavior: Does he show dangerous behaviors? This includes multiple tickets, running red lights, breaking laws, drinking and driving, using drugs, and inability to control his actions. Is he respectful of others, rules, and laws?
Lack of Respect: What is the relationship with his mom? Is there respect for women generally? Does he use the words 'bitch' and other derogatory words when referring to women? Are all his past relationship failures due to the woman involved? Does he call you 4 letter disrespectful slurs?
A Cruel Personality: Is he mean tempered to children, animals, or disabled people. Does he say mean things to you or others? Does he have a chip on his shoulder? Is he a loner and anti-social? Don't discount these kinds of behaviors. Some women are attracted to 'bad boys' until the violence against them begins.
Unstable Mental Conditions : Bipolar; depression; anger management problems; unrealistic views and expectations; and drug use all mean trouble in your relationship.
Please visit http://www.letswrap.com/usadv/ for safe houses in your state. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 to get help and information.
The site listed below gives a help guide, resources, and information to help you find help: