Several questionable actions by my son's coach left a sour taste in my mouth. This was not a single, isolated incident, nor was my son the only child involved. For this reason I felt entirely justified in writing a nasty-gram. Sure it was clothed in civility, but I made it clear that I was not happy in his conduct during the season. I made sure it was understood that the only reason we stayed committed to the team was because we were team players. This bit of righteous indignation sealed the deal.
But I never sent it and this is why.
It wouldn't change anything. The season was over. Sure his behavior created tension and many bitten tongues, but that was in the past. Hakuna Matata started to play in my mind. Why rehash the past.
I had no expectation of receiving a heartfelt apology, so the email sat as I questioned what my intention was after all.
I understand, in a way. Coaches are under a lot of pressure. Pressure can bring out the worst in people. While that does not in any way excuse his behavior; it was a challenging year all around. The team was expected to perform at a certain level and his personal life had taken a nosedive. I even felt a brief wave of compassion for this fellow.
My son could suffer the consequences. Although I had no intention of signing any of my children up with that organization again, there is something to be said for discretion. One nasty email could create a ripple effect that would someday come back to bite my son. He could get labeled. I could get labeled. And that was not the label I wanted.
I acknowledged the benefits. The situations allowed for some in-depth family discussions on character. We had to talk about why we do what we do. Sticking with the team, rather than dropping it like a hot potato became a lesson in teamwork and perseverance. Practicing what we preach when it comes to respect and commitments was worth the headaches in the end. And honestly, his unbelievable behavior also provided a "what not to do" type example.
My advice is to delete that email. If you need to confront, do it in person. Watching the Twitter wars blow up in Olympians faces reminded me of how easy it is to type something that you may not want to follow you the rest of your life. Draft if you must, but for your own sake press delete.
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