Although the book has plenty of pictures of Amy Sedaris posing in control-top nylons (including a photo tutorial on how to properly put them on) as well as ham sandwiches with American cheese cut-outs of squirrels and axes on them made especially for children's parties, we had some serious questions for the queen of hostessing. Amy Sedaris did not have serious reponses. This was not a surprise. Unfortunately, Amy Sedaris barely had an answer at all for any of our inquiries.
Perhaps it's because she wants us to stop talking and just buy the book. Maybe it's because a woman who has made at least part of her living creating a section titled "Munchies" that is aptly paired with a picture of herself, slightly dazed in the corner in a yellow daisy dress and a giant bong, doesn't have the time, energy or inclination to relate to some editor's of a website. I choose to believe she had some "Chicken Snatchatore" in the oven, putting the final touches on her fluffy coconut cake for the suggested "Happy Coming Out" soiree, or even fashioning a pair of penne earrings from the gift-giving section in the back of the book. I choose not to entertain the idea that maybe (and this is a big maybe, as I am sure all of you are aware) we just are not funny enough to keep up with her.
Whatever was going on with Amy Sedaris, we asked and she sort of answered. Here's what she kind of had to say in response to our apparently snoozable questions.
Shine: How do you make sure people don't outstay their welcome at a party?
AS: Always include a cutoff time, especially for children's parties -- say, "2 - 2:30."
Shine: Are "icebreaker" types of activies ever a good idea?
AS: I suppose.
Shine: What are the best, inexpensive ways to impress dinner guests?
AS: Decorated pince cones, a full plate (just use smaller ones).
Shine: What do you do when your grandmother invites "that nice boy from the Methodist church" over to meet you during a holiday dinner?
AS: Get him high.
Shine: Is it ever worth it to try to make a holiday dinner healthy?
AS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Shine: What's the best hostess gift to give that requires the least amount of effort?
AS: Decorated pine cones.
Shine: What do you do when you feel a conversation train-wreck about politics or heated family issues about to happen, or how can you avoid them?
AS: I encourage them. They can make a party.
Shine: How do you deal with a guest who drank like 20 eggnogs?
AS: Call him a cab.
Shine: Name some essential items you need when having company over to your house.
AS: Plenty of ice, a selection of drinks, a clean environment, a place to hang their coat. And make sure you are able to make change in case you are selling them something.
Shine: What are the most common mistakes people make when throwing a party?
AS: Not preparing. You also have to cast your party. You can't just invite everyone.
Although we -- and probably you -- have absolutely no better clue as how to be brilliantly hospitable over the holidays after reading our interview with Amy Sedaris, we are reasonably sure you are now scrambling to find pine cones and glitter glue for your next get-together.
And if you do buy or receive her book for the holidays (and we hope you do, it really is hilarious...kooky and full of recipes you will probably never make, but hilarious), we hope you will post your own pantyhose plant hanger here.