4 ways to be a better parent
editor
I've read several columns
in the past few days from
parents resolving to be
better parents in
the New Year. Being a mom or dad is one of the
toughest gigs. Ever. And even that is an understatement. But I
think every parent has many moments where they think, "I know
I can do better."
I, too, am like those other columnists who are resolving to be a
better parent in 2009. I'm forever a rookie parent, learning
the ropes as I go with my two young boys. (I still can't
believe I have a seven-year-old kid.)
Here are four ways that I think we can all be better
parents...let's call this list the "4 L's."
Chances are you've probably heard or read about all of these
things before, but they are easy to forget in the heat of parenting
moments. If you can remember to do one of these a day, you'll
realize how simple yet powerful these tips are for you and your
kids.
- Lighten up. It's pretty easy to get into
that cranky rut when your kids are running around and you know they
know they shouldn't be playing tag in the house or tossing
baseballs around in their bedroom. Or your teenager is listening to
Motley Crue's "Shout at the Devil" for the 1,000th
time at top volume. (Sorry, momentary personal flashback). Before
you get angry, before you utter a sentence that begins with,
"Stop," "No," "Don't,"
"Can't," take a deep breath, take in the moment, and
lighten up. Take the game of tag outside and join in the
fun. Ask your kid to turn the tunes down a notch with a dose of
humor. You're always a parent, but it doesn't have to be
chore.
- Let it go. The laundry, the dishes, the
vacuuming. Unless you're living amongst dust donkeys
under a pit of dishes, let something go. Repeat after me. Let. It.
Go. When your kids ask you for help or to do a puzzle,
instead of saying "Just a sec, I need to
clean the [insert household activity]," go hang out with them.
Put away the BlackBerry at the park. Close the laptop in the
kitchen. You'll always have household chores and work to do,
but how many amazing moments will you choose to miss because of
them?
- Listen. This is the tough one. Instead of
preparing your monologue about how much trouble your kid is in,
listen to him. Truly listen. Also? Listen to your
little kids playing in another room and be amazed when they create
imaginary worlds. Listen to your kids and their friends when
you're driving on field trips or they're at your house
hanging out. Listen to the chatter between siblings before they go
to sleep. You will find yourself smiling and smirking with their
banter.
- Laugh. Often. Laughter is contagious. Use it
to your advantage.
My wise Shine parents, what would you add to this
list?
Related: tips to better parenting, resolutions, parenting
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Posted by mommy Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:32pm PST
I am a mother of (8)kids 3grown and i agree with this site totally! its not easy raising kids but i feel as though we "and my husband " of 22years have done a wonderful job with our kids plus i am blessed to be a stay at home mom which is awesome, but is very important to spend as much time with your kids as you can because it is so easy to get busy and not find time but, you have to or they wil grow up and not have any wonderful memories of family time.
good luck and have fun
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Posted by the painter Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:39pm PST
Thank you,being that my kids are grown, I have one grandson,11yrs. old. I find that I am truely sorry for sometimes not listening,or playing when I should. I love him very much, and just reading this slapped me back to reality! I will give him my time which I know he needs,but he always will have my love. Thank you!
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Posted by imamomoftwo Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:44pm PST
Another things parent should do: Apologize and admit when you're wrong - you're only human, right?
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Posted by Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:57pm PST
From a veteran and a grandma veteran. . . give them hugs - not quick, split-second hugs, but a hug where you really hug them. Look them in their eyes and let them know how happy you are that they are your son / daughter.
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Posted by A. Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:59pm PST
I totally agree with the 4 L's and would like to add one more: LOVE.Take the time to tell your children how much you love them, how special and important they are, how proud they make you and above all...hug and kiss them often, everyday, every chance you get. Every time I do this for my son, he just lights up and it melts my heart. I think this is the greatest gift anyone can give and receive.
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Posted by Tracy Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:04pm PST
Is this author a professional columnist?
Good advice - horrible writing skills.
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Posted by philant Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:15pm PST
I am a 38yr old dad with a 14yr old and a 10yr old w/ a brain disorder.I am no expert, my only goal was to be a better dad than mine was.But my advice is give them your time.They grow up so fast, don't miss it.And when they're little, take your time to read to them,it does help them learn, become interested in reading, and, most importantly, fall to sleep!If we're looking at this, we care enough to be the best parents we can be, so we are headed in the right direction.Best of luck!
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Posted by Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:17pm PST
How do you deal with a family that did not respect those kind and simple things? My own did not and now I see as a grand mother how that disrespect has been handed down? I mean the kind of respect that honors a child as immature and innocent? If you look at a child what do you see?
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Posted by Kathy Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:30pm PST
One thing I'd like to add is: ALWAYS tell your child Everyday that you love them, at least once! It helps re-enforce the bond between you!
My children are grown & we still say it to each other all the time.
My kids have told me many times over the years, that they didn't get involved in some things growing up, that may have caused trouble, because they knew I loved them, & they didn't want to hurt me.
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Posted by Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:43pm PST
Thank you for some advice. I have four children from the ages 16 down to 5 almost 6. I have come to learn that these are the best rules to come by, expecially when you have teenage children. If one was to just take a few minutes out of there own time, their children will respect them more. Listening is the most important thing to do for a child at any age.
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