I decided to talk to a pro to see if I could improve my ways, so I rang up Jim Camp whose latest book, “No: The only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home,” just landed on my desk. Camp is a seasoned negotiations coach who has trained the FBI on how to negotiate in hostage crises, so I figured my usual fare would present beginner-level challenges.
“So what’s your system?” he asked me. I’m not much for systems or rules, letting my gut take me pretty much where it wants to go. So I mumbled something about how I try to assess the other party’s needs, whether I can fulfill them, and whether I’d even want to (which I thought sounded pretty good.) “And what is your system’s first rule?” he asked, explaining that all systems need to have rules. “Hmmm,” I responded.
Camp says that I’m not the only one who gets derailed by emotions. And he told me that whether it’s a new client, a job negotiation or a hostage crisis, there is one common thread -- the need to have a system to quell emotions.
Here are a few things he suggested:
- Try to respond to a question with a question, so that you can gather information from the other person. (Camp did this repeatedly during our call when he seemed like he wasn’t sure I was getting what I needed out of the interview).
- Figure out how to increase your perceived value.
- Alllow yourself veto power (As in, "If it’s not going to be a good fit, it’s okay if I don’t take this job/client/deal.")
- Don’t fixate on who names a dollar amount first. Instead focus on developing your perceived value so that by the time a number is named, regardless of who names it, it will be higher.
- Practice quelling your emotions in situations where the stakes seem low.
What do you think? Do you have a system that works for you in negotiations -- and if so, what are its inviolable rules?
