Let's get a couple of things out of the way first. You might use the excuse that you are staying for the good of the family, but there is nothing good about abuse in a family. What you are really doing is using your kids as an excuse to hind behind your own fears. They should not have to pay the penalty for your fears. If you really want to do what is best for your kid, you won't let them sit through one more minute of abuse.
Don't waste time. If you need help right now and you don't know what to do, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can help you find safe houses and other resources. Forget about excuses or how much you think your partner might change. It isn't all that likely and you don't have the right to put your children at risk on the off chance that change might happen.
Skip the ultimatum. I am not an abusive person. Yet, if you give me an ultimatum, I am more likely to get angry than I am to comply with your wishes. An abusive person is going to go through a rage before they ever even consider that you had a right to request change. You have to remember that most abusers don't even acknowledge that the abuse is of their doing. In their minds, if you hadn't done something to provoke them, they wouldn't have hit you. By the way, that is not even close to an adult thought process, so you may as well stop blaming yourself. Regardless of anything you might do, there is no excuse for someone to hit you.
Leave under another pretense. If your significant other is abusive, they are not going to respond well when you tell them you are leaving. If you are closely monitored, leave under the pretense that you are going somewhere else. Make sure that the amount of baggage you take makes sense with where you are going. For instance, don't say you are going to the grocery store, but then load up five bags. You can say you are going to the beach or somewhere else that requires you to bring lots of items.
Give up on guilt. Most victims of abuse are kept where they are with the use of guilt. You are feeling guilty for things you may have never even done. Even if you did do something to upset your significant other, there are ways to handle problems without causing someone emotional or physical distress.
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Signs that You Need to Try Parallel Parenting
Source: Personal Experience
