And the mile-long list of manly excuses I give anyone who will listen.
By Tom Britton for TheNest.com
As a man, I like my meat rare, prefer football games played on real grass, and appreciate the occasional explosion in the movies I watch. So when it comes to choosing grooming products, my stereotypically male sensibility tends to guide me. I'm more likely to select a shampoo for how cool the label looks, than how appropriate it is for my hair type.
Yet, once in a while, I have to admit that nothing beats the post-shower smell of honeysuckle. A scent good enough to make this guy say, "Screw it! So what if it's girly?" Now, I'd like to pretend that fragrant St. Ives scrub is the only thing I "borrow" from my wife, but that would be far from the truth.
Here are the seven things I frequently sneak from my wife's beauty supply, along with my own, manly rationalizations for doing so:
1. Peel-Off Face Mask: In a moment of curiosity, I once tried my wife's face mask only to find it wasn't the kind that peels off once dry. Imagine my disappointment as I realized that washing off a face mask is an arduous process. But peeling it off? Now that's fun! What can I say, boys like toys.
2. Body Lotion: Remember how Arnold Schwarzenegger traveled through time in The Terminator and arrived, completely naked and covered in primordial goo? Well, every Sunday morning, when I'm head-to-toe in tingly mint-tea body lotion, I feel just like an action hero. And you can bet "I'll be back" for more! How's that for making moisturizer sound manly?
3. Waxing strips: Only the most self-aware guys notice their own pesky, wayward shoulder hairs. Meanwhile, every woman notices those shoulder hairs. Show her you appreciate the pain she suffers while cleaning up her bikini line by waxing those suckers...then buy her 10 new waxing strips when you're done.
4. Nail File: Would you believe me if I said that I play wide receiver in a football league, and it's critical to my team's success that I increase the aerodynamism of my hands with smooth, symmetrical nails? No? Ok, then, let's just say it's something productive to do while watching The Millionaire Matchmaker.
5. Eye Cream: It turns out that after a night on the town with the guys, a little eye cream can really reduce that puffy look. Plus, if the cream should get in your eyes, you'll have (what she thinks are) sweet, spontaneous tears exposing inner vulnerability. Secretly apply a little toward the end of Steel Magnolias or Beaches and she'll be telling her friends about it for weeks.
6. Volumizing Shampoo: Okay, I'll confess -- I have a receding hairline and a family history of early hair loss. But it never hurts to keep looking for a miracle elixir. Each time I use volumizing shampoo, I award myself an "A" for effort, and keep my fingers crossed.
7. Antiaging Serum: First of all, being that we no longer live in the 1800s, it's not every day that one gets to use a "serum." Second, after 28 years, I've realized there's a happy middle ground for guys -- somewhere between Robert Redford "weathered" and "smooth as a baby's bum."Get tips for how to look better naked on TheNest.com.
Photo: Antonis Achilleos
© 2010 The Knot Inc. All rights reserved.
More from TheNest.com:
Secrets to a sexy bedroom
In a relationship rut? Get tips from other couples
Fun cocktail recipes
Get sex tips to spice up your love life
Need marriage advice? Get tips here