Here's a fun story: late on Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning, savior of humanity Beyoncé went karaoking with her husband Jay Z, Destiny's Child bandmates Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, producer Timbaland, and a few other friends in Houston. They of course booked a private room, but when they arrived, Bey heard the sweet tones of one her own songs being sung in a nearby room.
So she asked one of the karaoke joint's employees where the beautiful music was coming from, and she and Kelly Rowland did a little knock-knock-knock on the door and started singing with the girls in that room, who did not immediately recognize the two famous women in their midst.
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Of course they eventually did and there was much rejoicing. Rowland and Beyoncé even took photos with a girl who had passed out asleep on the couch. Yes, a friend of these lucky karaokers was either all tuckered out or had too much grownup juice and fell into a deep slumber right there on the karaoke room sofa. And then Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland came in and sang with her friends. While she was asleep.
So this is mostly a nice story, but holy hell can you imagine being the girl who fell asleep? The one time she falls asleep while at karaoke with her boring old friends and she misses freaking Beyoncé (and Kelly Rowland) popping into the room for a jam session?? I mean that is the kind of thing that haunts you for life! "Oh my god, I can't believe you guys met Beyoncé!! What was she like???" "Oh, um, I don't know, actually. I was asleep." "Oh. Well. That's still cool."
SEE MORE: Kate Middleton's Hair in ReviewSheesh. If we're lucky we get maybe five really special moments in these brief, furious lives of ours and this poor lady is asleep for one of hers? I'd almost imagine that that would drive a wedge between those friendships. All of them gushing about the time they sang with Beyoncé in some karaoke room and this one girl has to listen to it and swallow it down and wish with all the bitter regret in the world that she had just stayed awake. Why couldn't she stay awake?? She'll spend the rest of her life blaming her job for making her tired, blaming the karaoke waiters for over-serving her, whatever it is. There will forever be this missed golden opportunity hanging heavy in the air-and I'd think it will eventually drive her mad. "You should have woken me up!!" she'll scream to her friends on a rainy, windswept cliff, trembling hand clutching a revolver. "Why didn't you wake me up??" And then with a crack of lightning the girls see their chance and they pounce, subduing the wretched, gnarled husk of jealousy and despair that used to be their friend. And in that stormy moment, as the wails of police sirens are heard approaching in the distance, they'll wish that Beyoncé had never come to them that night, realizing then that this amazing blessing was also in many ways a curse. Nothing was the same after that night, and now here they are shivering in the cold, the thrashing remains of their friend being carted off to a mental asylum, muttering things about destiny.
And all because they went to karaoke one night and, with a terrible knock, something entered the room and destroyed everything. Hope you're happy, Beyoncé. Hope you had a terrific time.