How My DVF Obsession Led Me to Buy Clothes for the Baby I Don't Have

Stock PhotoI arrived at the Gap Kids store, located on one of Manhattan's busiest intersections (34th Street and Broadway), first thing in the morning. I had called the store the night before to confirm the 7 a.m. opening time, afraid that the entire Diane Von Furstenberg line would be sold out if I arrived a minute late. I was fully expecting and willing to be late for work that day, but surprisingly, I got in without a problem. As I searched through the adorable dresses and onesies all specially designed by my favorite fashion icon, I overheard a woman comment on an item she wanted to buy that wouldn't fit her little girl for another two years. Oh lady, I thought to myself, if you only knew who I was shopping for!

I've never been pregnant and don't have plans to have a child in the near future. I don't even have a significant other. But there I was, checking out baby girl clothes sizes 0-3 months. As I shopped the mini leggings, dresses, and shoes, my mind wandered: What will she look like? Which dress will look best on her? Tears welled in my eyes, completely catching me off guard, as I envisioned this person yet to enter my life. Going through all the what-ifs and whens, my rational brain interrupted: What are you doing here, Jen?

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My obsession with DVF began when I was 25 and working as a sales associate at a luxury department store in New York City. I never planned on working in retail - it's certainly not what I went to journalism school for - but there I was, just another college grad with deflated dreams. Before then, I had a good job in beauty PR that I got right out of college. Everything was going according to plan - until I was unexpectedly laid off. Fired. Canned. Whatever you want to call it. I, the girl who always overachieved, had failed at something.

While many of my friends advanced in their chosen careers, I was unsure where my life was going. Never one to see the glass half empty, however, I made the most out of the situation and worked my tail off. (A passion for fashion didn't hurt either.) Within eight months on the job, I got promoted to a specialist position for DVF specifically. I went from being a sales associate to motivating a team of six sales associates to reach monthly sales goals and merchandising the brand in the store.

Thanks to generous employee discounts and end-of-season sales, I accumulated a nice collection of DVF within a relatively short period of time. I got to know everything about the brand and the woman behind it. Diane's effortless style, laidback confidence, and strong business acumen represent all the things I strive for in my life. These days my career is still a work in progress, but with each new step I get closer to doing all the things I love, mixing style with marketing and even philanthropy. Next up: business school. I'm confident that I'm on the path to doing what I was always meant to. And though I no longer work for the brand, I continue to live some of my best moments while wearing DVF.

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That morning in the Gap, I settled on a pink, black, and white stone print mini wrap dress. It's a print I immediately recognized because my favorite go-to dress is stunningly similar (I wore it that day!). Like many women in their 30s in New York City, I carry this unspoken fear that I'll never find the right person and will never become a mother, especially when I see my friends from high school in other parts of the country having their second or third babies. A fear of the unknown still terrifies and frustrates me - the girl who always wants to be on the path to somewhere. But this dress signifies the hope and belief that a husband and kids will happen when it's meant to, and not on my preferred timeline. I know by this point in my life that the path to getting what we want from life can't possibly be clear. The natural career struggles and accomplishments I've faced as a single woman in a big city have allowed me to grow into the woman I've become today and have better prepared me for what the future hopefully holds: a loving husband and healthy, happy children.

Someday the moment will come when I will dress my daughter in her first wrap dress. Hopefully one day, she'll understand all that it represents to her mother about never giving up.

- By Jennifer Coulombe

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