What's the difference between the star of "Jersey Shore" and the star of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"? Only a few decades, according to New York Times style writer Cathy Horyn.
"I have this funny theory that [Snooki's] a little like Elizabeth Taylor," Horyn writes in a recent profile of the MTV star whose hit show's second season premieres Thursday. "The reason...is that photographs of Ms. Taylor in the 1960s confirm a short, busty woman with high hair, big jewelry, garish taste in clothes and a complete indifference to the cyclonic effect that all that produced."
By that reasoning, a whole host of present-day stars we consider fairly low-brow could measure up to Hollywood icons from years past. If you disregard actual talent, and take into account the fact that real life drama played out over years instead of minutes, revealed through biographies instead of blogs, you might have a little more respect for stars you love to hate. Or less respect for stars you used to love.
Either way, take out your number two pencils: it's analogy time. Snooki is to Liz Taylor as...
...Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi are to Rock Hudson and Doris Day
Before networks set couples up, movie studios did. Doris and Rock may not have been an item in real life, but they sure hammed it up for the camera. With three hit films together, the pair were irresistible to viewers, though not to each other. Sound familiar?
...Heidi Montag is to Jayne Mansfield
Both are known for being extremely blond, extremely tragic and extremely shaped. Which meant both got to pose for Playboy. Both welcomed the attention of paparazzi, and used the influence to become household names. Mansfield was in about 2500 newspapers photos, which, if you factor in tabloid inflation, comes out to the same amount as Heidi's 5.4 million photos.
...The Kardashians are to the Osmonds
Like the Kardashians, the Osmonds knew they'd be more famous if they stuck together. Let's face it, the only thing that separates the Kardashians from a traveling family circus is chronic fatigue syndrome. They are always sooooo sleepy. But like the 70's siblings, the Kardashians are the kind of fashion trend-setters that are not timeless (bell-bottom pantsuits are to velour track suits).
...Bethenny Frankel is to Joan Crawford
Both are smart to the point of scary. Both are known for portraying financially savvy women surprised to find luck in love. "No one decided to make Joan Crawford a star. Joan Crawford became a star because Joan Crawford decided to become a star," one MGM screenwriter famously noted. The same can be said for Bethenny. After a few B-movies, the reality star crawled to the top of the food chain by tooth and nail, relying on self-promotion and every camera that passed her way. Plus both Joan and Bethenny became famous moms. Though, Bethenny's maternal side is far more appealing.
...Levi Johnston is to Peter Lawford
Both got tangled with political heavyweights. Lawford's connection started with his first marriage in 1954, to JFK's sister Patricia. Like Johnston, he took advantage of sticky situation. Avoiding the draft because of an injury, he stayed stateside landing movie roles while bigger leading men were off at war. Like Johnston, he hit the campaign trail for his new-found family, though less bedgrudingly. Though he didn't pose for Playgirl, Lawford was also a ladies' man, with four marriages to his name. Levi's still young.
...Justin Beiber is to Eddie Fisher
Both were "discovered" very publicly by well-known talents (Fisher by Eddie Cantor, Bieber by Justin Timberlake and Usher). Both got their start as teenagers and relied on a massive female audience for ticket sales. Both are known for melodious voices, clean cut looks and trendy hairstyle. Both are 5 foot 4 inches.
Okay, your turn. Leave your analogies in the comments section...
[photo: Getty Images]
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