Terrifying and just plain weird: Introducing Wholesome Wear, swimsuits that "highlight your face, not your body"

There are times when something fashion-related comes along that is so horrific in its premise and so gruesome in its execution that I can't wrap my head around its existence much less understand how to write about it.
But rarely have I encountered a clothing abomination that brings on mental paralysis the way that WholesomeWear WaterWear has-honestly, this product may be the worst thing I've ever seen.

A kind of more-frumpy-than-the-original old-fashioned bathing costume, WW is sold out of Oregon (I would've sworn Utah), made only for girls and appears to cater to those in any religious sect that emphasizes modesty for women. In fact, the word modesty is used more than 27 times in the website's text. Let's allow WholesomeWear to speak for it self:

"WholesomeWear is a modest clothing for 'wherever.' Our WaterWear is the first to be introduced because the need for modesty is the greatest and the supply is almost non-existent. Swimwear that 'highlights the face, rather than the body' includes an undergarment that fits like a body suit, while a loose fitting outer garment limits cling and adds modesty and style...."

So basically it's a cheaply made wetsuit under a polyester house dress. Oh, joy! There are three styles to choose from:
1. "Culotte," for the active swimmer, because that is what an active swimmer needs-four yards of material enveloping one's body and collecting water. That won't slow you down a bit, girls!
2. "Skirted," which snaps between the legs for "going into town without changing." (Yes, it really says this.)
3. "Slimming." Pictured at top, these suits, actually called the Slimmer Swimmer (har, har) appear to have vertical seams or "color lines" to give your body a svelte look. One wonders why, when the obvious goal of the garment is to obliterate any suggestion of a shape, one would care about appearing thin...but I guess even freaky modesty-obsessed folks are still fixated on their weight. (Wait. Are they?)

Anyway, perhaps the worst part of all this is the suits are freakin' expensive-some in the $110 range.
UGH.
More pictures below, including the "extended" version, which will keep your limbs all covered up, demure and surely, very sweaty in the heat.