Sure, she's had successful fragrances, was the president of Halston Heritage for about a year, and once even helmed a budget-friendly line called Bitten at the defunct chain Steve & Barry's, but a signature line of heels for the self-professed ShoeGal (Carrie Bradshaw's AOL screen name) always seemed like a no-brainer. "I've been thinking of doing this for years but never found the right fit," Parker recently told Glamour.
Finally, her shoe line has come to fruition and will be available at Nordstrom on February 28. There's one big problem though: It's terrible.
Plenty of magazines and blogs are squealing with delight, as I wanted to. I love shoes, I love rewatching classic "Sex and the City" episodes, and I have much of the series' witty dialogue and over-the-top outfits committed to memory. (I may have even tried to recreate a few.) But even though I'm a fan, I refuse to blindly adore things merely because I'm supposed to. So, it's with a heavy heart I list the many reasons why I'll be passing on SJP's new shoe line.
1. The price tags. Parker told InStyle that her dream was to create shoes at a "reasonable price point." How many women would refer to shoes that cost $485 as "reasonable"? Perhaps the woman who put Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos on the map would, but I definitely don't.
2. They look like bridesmaid shoes. Parker says Carrie Bradshaw was her muse for the collection, and perhaps the flower adornment on the Etta heels (pictured at top) is a nod to the fabric corsages she wore on the early seasons of "Sex and the City." But let's be real. They're boring, brown shoes you could find at David's Bridal. Only these cost $425.
3. They're too safe. Parker told Glamour her $350 red Lady pumps (pictured above left) were "polite and old fashioned." I suppose they are. But when spending $350 on shoes, I'd expect some sort of wow factor. Where are the eye-catching shoes she wore on HBO? Or the edgy footwear she wears in real life? Clearly not here.
4. They're very un-SJP. Carrie Bradshaw was the type to wear 5-inch heels around her apartment. As a lover of flats, I appreciate that she added a pair to her tiny collection for comfort, but these $185 aqua Billie ballet flat/espadrille hybrids (pictured above center) look more like trusty TOMS than glam Manolos. At least TOMS are affordable!
5. They're dated. Have you ever noticed that the stars of "Beverly Hills, 90210" still wear floral dresses and other '90s trends? Or how Debbie Harry still looks very '80s? Well SJP seems to be trapped in the aughts. Sorry, Sarah. 2003 called and it wants its camel-colored lace-up booties back. (pictured above right)
Now, to be fair, there is one great shoe in the line, called, of course, The Carrie (pictured left). It's sexy, it's stylish, it's versatile, it's on-trend with the pointy toe, and it looks expensive-because it is. If this $355 shoe were cheaper, I'd be all over it, and I bet other Sarah Jessica Parker fans would be, too.