Let's face it—Facebook may have been an important part of your life well before you even laid eyes on your husband. But now that you've exchanged vows, Facebook might start to get jealous and come between you and your spouse. While you probably don't need to quit your favorite social network cold turkey, you may need to adjust or monitor some of your behavior. Here are five "don'ts" that might help you to maintain the peace between Facebook and your marriage.
1. Don't broadcast fights. Married couples are sure to run into plenty of problems and have their fair share of arguments, and while it might be tempting to rally for your friends' support on Facebook, think twice before doing so. Publishing a play-by-play of your fight on Facebook and venting about your husband's mistakes or flaws might make you feel better in the moment, but it will probably drive you further apart as a couple in the long run. To make matters worse, publicizing your fight will likely make your Facebook friends uncomfortable and perhaps cause them to lose respect for you. Rather, vent in a journal or to one close confidante.
2. Don't get hypersensitive over his Facebook activity. It's natural to be curious about what your husband is writing on Facebook—and in some cases, suspicion may be warranted. You might also crave his attention on your Facebook wall if you seem to be in a sweet message drought. But if you read into every detail of what he does—or doesn't—do, you can cause yourself and your relationship unnecessary stress. Yes, I would have liked my husband to leave me a "happy birthday" message on Facebook this year, but he celebrated with me in real life, which is more important. Sometimes you just have to choose your battles.
3. Don't reveal life-changing information without asking. It can sometimes be difficult to hold in exciting information like a new job, a new house, or a new baby on the way. You might automatically jump to posting it on Facebook, but perhaps your husband isn't quite so ready to make the information available to your entire network of friends. When my husband got a new job, he wasn't a little disappointed that I posted a congratulatory message for him before he was really ready to announce it to the world. Make sure you run things by him and get the green light before announcing your news in your status.
4. Don't embarrass him. Sometimes the things your husband says or does are just not meant to be shared with the world. You might think the funny face he makes to get you to laugh deserves a place of honor in your photo album or that the rest of the world needs to hear the silly question he just asked, but he might not appreciate the breach of privacy. After all, if you share Facebook friends with him, you may be inviting a barrage of unwanted snarky comments from his buddies. Make sure you run any incriminating pictures or updates by him before hitting that "Share" button.
5. Don't choose Facebook over your husband. When your husband is trying to talk to you, you may want to refrain from refreshing your computer screen or smartphone every couple of minutes to see if anyone commented on your latest witty status (guilty as charged). Try not to let your intriguing news feed, your friend's new photo album, or the latest app overtake quality time you could be spending together. It's important to find a balance between the time you spend connecting with your social network and the time you spend connecting with your husband. When all is said and done, Facebook is fun and arguably addictive, but your husband is more important!
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