Sex is a natural function of most relationships that brings you closer to your partner and enhances intimacy. My partner recently came down with a medical condition that makes sex with her nearly impossible. At first, this created a lot of tension and doubts within the relationship as both of us struggled to adjust. Sexless relationships are hard for any partner to cope with. It can cause cheating, bruised egos, and distancing between the two partners. However, is it possible to have a thriving relationship without sex?
Causes
Sexless relationships can occur for a variety of reasons including religious beliefs, medical conditions, and lack of sexual desire. The cause of a sexless relationship is important for both partners to understand. Sexless relationships are often difficult if one partner has the need for sex in the relationship and the other does not or cannot.
Do you love your partner?
Long-term relationships are much deeper than just sexual desire. When I first learned that my relationship could no longer be sexual in nature, I was quick to blame my partner and considered moving on. While that may sound selfish, a natural response occurs when a sexual relationship suddenly turns sexless. However, after learning that my partner has a medical condition that makes sex impossible, it was easy to turn the anger and bruised ego into sympathy. If you truly love your partner, you will respect their reason for a sexless relationship. However, it is important to find the root of the cause to make the relationship work.
Who's to blame?
When sex is no longer a factor in a long-term relationship, it can cause stress and blame. However, it is important not to blame anyone if you want your relationship to thrive. Regardless of the reason, it is important to discuss the problem with your partner and work out a common resolution or understanding. For instance, if one partner wants a sexless relationship because of religious reasons and one does not, it is vital to respect the abstaining partner's wishes. Forcing sex, regardless of the situation, will not solve anything and can cause distancing between partners.
I just do not have sex drive anymore
Losing your sex drive can happen to just about anyone due to individual circumstances. If the condition is not medical, it is important to find the root of the cause and work with your partner to regain your drive. This may include increasing intimacy by going on weekly dates, providing your partner with compliments and changing your attitude to turn your partner on. When men cheat they often start caring about their looks, they go to the gym and start wearing cologne. While this list does not encompass every component of cheating behavior, we can learn from these changes. If you are making changes to yourself to attract a new partner, it makes sense to try to attract your current partner with the same changes. Attraction can fade in relationships where both partners become too comfortable with one another. However, making small changes such as giving your partner compliments, being spontaneous and dressing up for them can dramatically increase their desire.
Can you survive a sexless relationship?
Sex is only a small part of any healthy relationship and is not needed for the relationship to thrive. However, you must understand the cause of a sexless relationship in order to make things work. If both partners are okay with a sexless relationship, it is important to increase intimacy in other ways for the relationship to thrive. For example, romantic dates, cuddling, fooling around and an appreciation of the person can help you survive without the need for sex.
