It's not just about attracting someone - real sexiness is the total confidence that can make you feel smarter, funnier and better in every area of your life. Who doesn't want to be a bit more like that every day? By Kelsie Blazier, REDBOOK.
A for effort
"Feeling confident about your appearance is the first step to genuine sex appeal," says says Eve Marx, author of Beddington Place: Watch Your Back, Cover Your Tracks and contributor to thirdage.com. Give yourself permission to invest in how you look - whether that means a visit to the makeup counter or a new haircut. It'll change what's inside, too.
Get out of town
Take an art class. Or book a last-minute weekend getaway. "Novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac,"says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., and founder of mypleasure.com. When you live in the moment, anything's possible - and that's exciting, and sexy.
After a hot shower, massage your body with lotion, instead of just slapping it on. Or give yourself a relaxing neck rub. "I brush my skin with a soft brush every morning when I wake up," says Mary McGuire-Wien of New York City. "It makes my skin feel much more alive." Natural health advocates believe that dry brushing reduces toxins, sloughs off dry skin, and may help fight cellulite.
Play up your eyes with a new eyeliner, or try a different gloss on your lips. Or, if you normally go natural, put on heavy mascara. "When you feel beautiful, you feel sensual," says Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light. Take the extra three or four minutes to primp yourself and feel pretty - just for you.
Move things around
Part your hair on the other side, a teeny move that has a whopping effect. Oh, and every once in a while, you'll have to toss the falling strands back - and you know what the coquettish hair toss does to men.
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All buttoned up
Wearing something with lots of buttons will naturally turn undressing or a wardrobe change into a striptease as you linger over each button.
Read something racy
Just knowing you're reading something risqué in public is sure to give you a teeny confidence boost. "Erotic novels give women ideas," says Marx. "They respond to stories that fire up their imagination." Mr. Grey, here we come.
When was the last time you invested in a good bra? "Most women are wearing the wrong bra," Marx says. "Don't be scared to spend money on good lingerie. The right foundation will make you feel like a million bucks."
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Take it slow
Slow-dance. Really close. Fitting together so snugly and swaying in sync is unbelievably sensual and intimate. It's almost like making love.
Back to black
Wear slightly smudgy black eyeliner for that smoldering temptress look. Appearing slightly unkempt - as if you just had a roll in the hay - is incredibly provocative.
Honestly, when was the last time you really doted on your guy? Forever ago? Well, pretend he's a new beau and chuckle at his jokes, suggestively touch his forearm and make coy comments. You'll feel kittenish - the way you did when you first started dating.
Go au naturel
Every now and then, take a break from blow drying and styling your hair. That slightly tousled, sexily untamed mane will bring out your wild side.
Ever wish you were Joan Holloway from Mad Men or Eva Mendez any day of the week? Pretend to be them! "It's fun to get out of your head and role play," Marx says. Next time you're in a funk and want to feel sexier, emulate your favorite leading lady, and feel your confidence skyrocket.
Underneath it all
Throw away those ripped, faded, you've-had-them-for-four-years granny panties and invest in some new underwear. The sexier, the better - but G-strings aren't required. New bikinis, boy shorts, or even basic briefs can make you feel special.
Play top chef
Food serves as a wonderful aphrodisiac, and whipping it up in the kitchen with your partner can make it that much sexier. "It's fun to work closely together in tight quarters and taste food off each other's fingers and lips," Marx says.
For 35 more ways to get your sexy on, visit Redbookmag.com.
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