SUPERSTOCK/GETTY IMAGESBy Ronnie Koenig
The Office Gossip
Sometimes, it's nice to take a break in your day to get the scoop on who's smooching who and who's getting the pink slip. But is the office gossip stopping by your desk way too often?
"The office gossip can be a destructive force in your life, as this person calls your own integrity into question in the eyes of your superiors and coworkers," says Karen Hylen, Ph.D, primary therapist at Summit Malibu Treatment Center . "Without this type of person in her life, a woman can grow stronger in her feelings of self-worth and be an integral part of the office environment, rather than an outsider looking in."
The Ex who Calls for Sex
Sure, it's nice to have a sex buddy on speed dial, but is his presence in your life adding or taking away value?
"A woman who keeps an ex in her life purely for sexual reasons is essentially building up a barrier to her own happiness," says Hylen. "By cutting this person out of her life, she can move past old feelings and emotional attachments and in turn open her heart and mind to new experiences and relationships."
The Sad Sack
You don't really like her, but you get together out of guilt. The truth is, that's not good for her or yourself.
"Women experience emotions on a very visceral level, taking in their surroundings and feeding off others energy," says Hylen. "It's more effective emotionally for a woman to have people in her life who exude positive energy, rather than those who can drain her of the vital life energy she needs to maintain her own quality of life."
The painful truth: You have to give the Sad Sack some space and find friends that are on your level.
The Guy On the Fence
He says he loves spending time with you but he won't put a ring on it -- or even let you leave a toothbrush at his place! It's time to tell yourself that you're worth being "the one" -- if not to him, then someone else.
"Being with a man who won't commit to you or take you seriously as a woman can result in low self-esteem and depressive thoughts or behaviors," says Hylen. "A woman is better off being with someone who does not deny her those emotions, which are critical to her overall mental health and well-being."
There's always that sibling, cousin or aunt who is forever trying to fix your life. They mean well, but seriously… buzz off!
"A pitying relative who tries to help you in various areas of your life can lead to a belief that you are not self-reliant or independent," says Hylen. "Not having this person in your life will allow you to make your own mistakes and be accountable for them so you don't repeat them in the future."
She's your friend, but also your arch enemy. How is this fun?
"Women deserve friendships in which they support each other's triumphs as opposed to bringing each other down," says Jessica LeRoy, psychotherapist and founder of Center for the Psychology of Women . "Some women who are a bit more insecure may believe that they deserve this type of friendship, or that this is normal female behavior. In reality, supporting each other makes us feel much better about ourselves and our friends."
The Half-Assed Friend
She forgets to return calls for months, doesn't acknowledge your special occasions and is generally MIA. When you do make plans, she's always rescheduling at the last minute or showing up super late.
"You should dump this 'friend' because she does not respect your time or your life," says LeRoy. "You need to spend that time with those who do appreciate you as a friend and who are interested in your life."
The verdict: Time to move on to someone who has friendship to give.
Click here to read about more People You Need Out of Your Life!
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