5 apps for hypochondriacs

Every time I get a stiff neck, I come down with a case of meningititis-phobia. The next two days I'm making sure, every 5 minutes, that my chin can in fact reach my chest. It may look like a nervous tick, but that's how doctors recommended checking for symptoms of the disease...in the dark ages.

Thanks to the app technology, you can monitor your health AND keep your phobias in check. And all under the auspices of "checking your phone."

Fear: Meningitis
App: Meningitis Trust
It's the disease that causes new hypochondriacs every day. It can strike at any time, it's highly contagious and you don't always know you have it until it's too late. This app will definitely save lives, but it will also put minds at ease, thanks to the detailed breakdown of symptoms, emergency departments and breaking news to track epidemics. There's also a game called Bug Blaster, "a virtual battle against bacteria to eliminate the meningitis bug."

Fear: STDs
App: AppSmear
A true hypochondriac works on a system of checks and balances. She relies on her doctor to take her concerns seriously, but she also relies on her friends who don't. It helps to keep things in perspective. That's just what this gag app does. Wave it over someone and the numeric breakdown of sexually transmitted diseases they're carrying comes up. The fake diagnoses come with 50 different outcomes for the person getting the bad news.

Fear: Food-poisoning
App: Still Tasty
Wouldn't it be nice to know if you're planning to spend the entire day hovering over the toilet? Better yet, avoid it? The application warns you when items in your fridge are about to expire, and offers a point by point warnings on toxic food preparation and storage.

Fear: Going crazy
App: Panic Attack Talkdown
Designed for both the iPad and iPhone, this little invention will talk you down from an unnecessary trip to the emergency room. "It's simple... every time you feel anxiety building, activate the TalkDown app and you will see me talking directly to you," says your friendly app counselor who appears via video screen. "I will talk you through and out of, the anxiety and/or panic attack you are experiencing." The app creator, a mysterious guy named Charles, claims to be able to tackle such heavy duty anxieties as agoraphobia, and full blown, heart-pounding am-I-having-an-allergic-reaction-to-peanuts-that-will-kill-me-but-first-put-me-in-a-coma line of questioning.

Fear: By proxy
App: Pocket First Aid & CPR
You may not be worried about your own health, but if you're a mom, you're always thinking about worst case scenarios for your child. This app will ease your mind: it's got step by step visual instructions for administering Infant CPR and choking prevention tactics. It will also help, through a step by step guide, to decipher whether or not something is an emergency. Plus you can store your doctors and emergency contacts at the click of a button.
Fear: Your body is a ticking time bomb
App: Symptom Navigator
Show the app where it hurts. The symptom translator will present an extensive library of possibilities. This may not be a good thing for the super phobic. (You can get a fatal disease from a pigeon in your radiator!?) But that doesn't mean it's not fun.

Fear: Existential App: If I Die
So you've already panicked your way through the Panic Attack Talkdown app. Now you're concerns are that you'll disappear without ever chronicling your true feelings. Enter the app for the meta-hypochrondriac who's afraid that their undefined illness will lead to complete obsolescence. This creation allows you to document notes, videos and voice recordings to pass on to loved ones should you spontaneously combust. There's also a bucket list feature, but skydiving isn't recommended for us nervous types.