Be honest: Did you ever lose the baby weight?
When a friend of mine had a second baby last year and within weeks, looked as if she'd never gestated another human being ever, the comments about her body came on as quickly as her pregnancy weight came off. I watched one morning on the playground as several people, including her older daughter's teacher, went on and on about how soon she slimmed down.
It's no surprise that the comments, said with smiles, had an edge to them. Jealousy? Disbelief? Astonishment? Whatever it was (or is) as we size up a new mother who has gotten back to her pre-preg size, it's not all happiness and support.
Maybe that's because it takes us back to the place when we wore maternity jeans long after the baby was out of our bellies (or could still be hiding those lovely, comfortable waistbands as our kids head into kindergarten). Perhaps it is because our hips and bellies are still holding on to some of the weight so we could grow a brain in our bodies. Could it be that we had to work hard -- really hard -- to take those inches off at a time when we really didn't have the energy or time to devote to ourselves, be that weeks or months or years later? Or is it that many of us moms are still walking to preschool drop-off, carpooling teenagers to practices, packing kids up for college, and kissing boo-boos and whipping up organic mac & cheese in bodies that are pretty much the same as they were on that birth day?
How each mother feels about the big, demonized topic of "baby weight" is probably as diverse as each of our bodies. Not all of us struggle to shed those pounds and stretchy skin, not all of us care if we ever do. Some of us need to let go of the weight to feel energized and good and healthy. Others will get to it. Eventually. Some mothers keep meticulous food journals and exercise regimens for each quarter-pound victory. For others, the weight seems to fall off with stress and circumstances and methods passed down from their mothers.
No matter what your body is like, how it handles weight gains and losses, regardless of how many kids you had however long ago, I wonder how many of us still carry the pounds we put on during pregnancy. I did a highly unscientific survey of my Facebook friends and the findings were pretty interesting -- it took most a few years to get back to a body they felt good in but even if the weight came off quickly or effortlessly, nearly all said their bodies were nowhere near the same. Pounds didn't rule this online conversation. Feeling fit, in shape, and in control did.
Here's what moms -- and a few dads! -- had to say about whether the pregnancy weight lingers still. It's pretty interesting:
"No, nope, nada...sigh." (Sarah, mother of three)
"Yes! I did. But it took me three years after my youngest was born." (Sarah, mother of three)
"Yeah, [my daughter] was four-and-a-half." (Cindy, mother of one)
"No I did not. Was 15 pound lighter four years ago." (Tom, dad to a preschooler and toddler)
"Yes. But only if you get divorced. Then you get anorexically skinny. Then you get happy, and somehow? You gain the baby weight back. Weird." (Clare, mother of a tween)
"Still working on it." (Katie, mother of three)
"Yeah, but [my son] was 3. The real questions are: did I gain it back after that, and did I get my pre-baby body back? Um, no comment. :-)" (Kristi, mother of one)
"With my first yes, with my last, not all of it." (Cynthia, mother of a teenager and a preschooler)
"I hate to be the one who says yes, but i did...in a matter of weeks. With my first 2. I didn't gain much thanks to gestational diabetes and I was under huge stress after the births (no...I mean *no* milk production, a very ill father in one case, hospitalized baby in the other) and lost the weight very quickly. With #3, I gained more (no diabetes + bed rest) and I've had a much harder time losing it. She's 4 months now and I still have 5-10 pounds to go. Not looking good now that I'm at home and snacking all day. BUT my body is definitely a different shape now. Wider hips." (Amy, mother of three, including a baby)
"I did, two years after my youngest was born" (Melissa, mom to three kids)
"Yes. I am in better shape now than ever. Gained the most weight with my third pregnancy (but also knew it was probably my last so I took full advantage of eating) I had motivation to lose weight after [the youngest] we were going on vacation. But now after a stressful divorce and training for marathon, I feel and look better than ever!" (Cassi, mom of three)
"The first time I lost a lot more than I'd gained. The second time not so much - still 10 pounds up (pre-first pregnancy weight)." (Hillary, mom of two)
"Yes, and in fact, I'm in better shape now than before pregnancy #1. But my body doesn't look the same as it did before preg #1." (Julie, mother of two)
"Most of it, but not quite enough to wear things I used to!!" (Apitchaya, mom of two)
"Yes...believe it or not, with both of mine, I was below my pre-pregnancy weight when I left the hospital. I actually gained during the first year with both of them though and didn't lose the last of that until after my divorce. And of course, NOTHING is in the same place or shaped the same no matter what the scale says!" (Barbara, mom of two)
"Yes, I did with both kids. Two things helped me ...breastfeeding and wrapping my tummy for about six weeks after giving birth." (Diana, mother of two)
"Yes. I did. But it took a lot of work." (Kristen, mother of four)
"Not yet, but getting close." (Rafael, father of a toddler)
"[My husband] has reached my goal weight.....Me? Not so much. 60 lbs with each child & 35 left to lose. However, things are not all bad....I'm working towards a second degree black belt & training for a 5k!! Feeling pretty good & able to keep up with my Girl Scouts better than most of the 'skinny' Moms." (Micki, mom of two)
"I have now seven years later." (Melissa, mom of one)
"After #1, no (because I gained the most weight), but after #2 an #3, yes. :)" (Lisa, mom of three, from teenaged to early 20s)
"After three kids and an accumulated 30+ extra pounds, I lost it all with Weight Watchers. Took 9 months, but it's gone and it feels good." (Jana, mom of three)
"I lost the baby weight with baby #1 - but all bets were off with my twins (next pregnancy). Twins make your body do a gummy stretch thing and your body never is quite the same again.. But twins are worth it!" (Beth, mom of three)
"No. And I adopted." (Meg, mother of one)
Now it's your turn: Are you still carrying pregnancy weight? How do you feel about your body now?
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