Can Yoga Heal Broken Hearts?

When we go through a relationship breakup or a divorce, we're accustomed to the typical things suggested to get through our heartbreak, such as going on a relaxing vacation, hitting the best dance club with friends for a night on the town, and getting back on the dating scene. But yoga - good for heartbreak? BounceBack sat down with Mandy Ingber, renowned LA-based yoga expert and personal yoga ...

When we go through a relationship breakup or a divorce, we're accustomed to the typical things suggested to get through our heartbreak, such as going on a relaxing vacation, hitting the best dance club with friends for a night on the town, and getting back on the dating scene. But yoga - good for heartbreak? BounceBack sat down with Mandy Ingber, renowned LA-based yoga expert and personal yoga instructor to stars including Jennifer Aniston, to get the scoop on yoga, her unique approach called Yogalosophy, and why it's so important to anyone who is in the process of bouncing back:



BounceBack: Many of our members aren't familiar with yoga. Can you give us a little background?


Mandy Ingber: There are many aspects to yoga for the mind, body, and spirit. The yoga that most people speak of here in the West is the physical practice. While meditation is also recognized, when people think of yoga in general, it is a series of postures designed to unlock the body, strengthen and lengthen the muscles and tendons and ligaments, which allows more energy flow through the vehicle of the breath. This preps the body for an opening that can allow for more bliss. Almost like a moving meditation. These postures have been recognized for thousands of years, and it is called a practice, because each day is different. This can be extremely beneficial for anyone going through a transition, as it involves a presence of mind to be physical. It can be a metaphor of setting intention in any area of your life. I love yoga because it helps me to find the voice within that helps me get through a difficult or painful process. There is always a voice that doubts, but then I also find the internal voice that moves through the challenge and discomfort anyway. And then I can access that part of myself in other areas of my life. This is true for any physical activity, but yoga specifically.


BB: Why is yoga good for you?


MI: Physically, it calms the nervous system, balances hormones, oxygenates the muscles, builds strength, and increases flexibility. Emotionally, it allows a process, releases old emotions, creates space for feelings to emerge, and provides a structure to find the power of emotions as a motivating force. And mentally, it shows a process, gives focus, encourages the mind to be still, brings awareness and declares a true intention.


BB: What are some of the types of yoga, and which practices are for what?


MI: There are many variations of Hatha Yoga, which literally means "the yoga of force" and is one of the most basic practices. Vinyasa means "flow", and it strings together a series of postures with Sun Salutes to create a vigorous workout. Bikram is a series of specific poses in a hot room. Hot yoga takes the heated space of a Bikram class, and yet the flexibility of a regular class. There are more styles - Kundalini, Ashtanga, Power, and so on, but I recommend trying a new style each week for several weeks and see what style (and which teacher) works for you personally - like dating.


BB: How should someone integrate yoga into their overall exercise routine?


MI: This is personal. I like to incorporate yoga into my workouts, and you can either do so by adding pure yoga, or even a 20-minute routine tacked onto your average workout.


BB: How often should someone practice yoga?


MI: Whatever they can do regularly. Three times per week is pretty standard as a base.


BB: Is yoga only for women?


MI: Yoga was introduced to me by my father. Most of the yoga instructors that brought yoga to the west are male. Many of my teachers have been men. So, no yoga is for men and women. I have found that men are realizing how challenging yoga can be, and are attracted to that.


BB: Can all ages do yoga?


MI: Yes, I started when I was a child. They even have special "Yoga for Kids" classes now. Really, if you look at babies and little kids, their bodies naturally assume a lot of yoga poses. Kids are just more naturally healthy and supple.


BB: On a personal note, how and why did you get involved in yoga?


MI: My father brought yoga into our lives in the '70s, when I was a child. My dad was an amazing guy, but a little self-absorbed. I was always trying to understand my father, so I feel that the yoga was a place where I could meet him somehow. Sometimes we would go to yoga classes as a family. It was something we could all do together, yet in our own space. Looking back, that was a pretty great experience. Although I always continued to practice, I found that I had a love/hate relationship with yoga because it felt like it was taking my dad's attention in his free time. Then my father and mother divorced, and he ended up marrying one of his yoga buddies. Needless to say, it's been a process in acceptance. I was very angry with my dad for being selfish, and the yoga felt like it was a part of it. In my own life, I decided to add to my teaching and become a yoga instructor when I was going through a relationship breakup. My ex and I both became yoga instructors as a result of the breakup. It was very consuming and was part of the process. During that time, my own breakup, my father was very helpful. I also found out that when he left my mom, that he had a very hard time...was crying every day...but I had never realized that before. I had assumed that because he was starting a life with someone else that he wasn't really affected. One year later, when my father passed away, I found myself in a downward facing dog (a pretty traditional yoga pose) and I realized that my father had given me this. And that is was a way that I was connected to him. And it was a way that he had connected me to my work, to others, and to something historical. It was around that time that many people from many different places started to approach me about teaching yoga.


BB: Tell us more about Yogalosophy - what is your yogalosophy?


MI: Yogalosophy is yoga combined with my philosophy of life and the body - which is acceptance - start where you are. We are a society that seems to thrive on always being at the top of our game, and we have a hard time just being where we are. If only I could touch my toes, or had a boyfriend, if I were wealthy... and on and on. I say that we can love ourselves right now. And I mean that. You can show up with your broken heart and be yourself. Emotions can be extremely motivating. Emotion = energy in motion. In my DVD, I create a hybrid yoga workout, and I try to motivate through play and having fun, but I also hope that people can just pop it in their DVD player (or download it now!) and just be themselves. No game face.


BB: We know now that yoga is mentally, physically, and emotionally beneficial. Is this why Yoga is so good for someone going through heartbreak?


MI: Many people find yoga at transitional moments in their lives. When I experienced my heartbreak at age 35, I would check into my yoga class when I didn't know what else to do. I would simply MOVE IT. I would channel all that powerful emotional energy into changing my body. Literally, I was re-sculpting and reshaping the muscles. Sending a message to myself on a cellular level that just because I felt like this did not mean that I just stopped. Yoga is incredible because it allows space through the breath and the postures to feel. Then we have choice. And by the way, everything you feel is okay. One of the best ways to use that heartbreak energy (which is all yours) is to develop a relationship with the Self. And the body is a great symbol of that. Yoga literally means "union". So it's a marriage of the mind to the body, the masculine to the feminine, and the relationship with the Self. That is the one relationship that lasts an entire lifetime. Children grow and leave, parents pass, workplaces come and go... even if you have the love of your life for a lifetime, one goes before the other, so really, cultivation of the relationship with the Self and getting to know the Self is all that we are here to work with in the end.


BB: Divorce and breakups can be extremely stressful - what can practicing yoga do to help relieve this stress?


MI: Creating a routine for yourself, self-care, developing that relationship that stays with you for a lifetime, doing something productive with the pent-up energy, creating the space to feel whatever it is you are feeling, being in a process, breathing technique. Everything about yoga helps relieve stress from heartbreak.


BB: We've heard about mantras - should someone who is heartbroken focus on meditating to a specific mantra?


MI: I think that a mantra is a reminder, and a healthy thought to focus on. For instance, most of us are running the same 3 thoughts over and over again in our minds, which are on a loop. Why not loop the name of god...or really something that reminds you this is all for you. Like "This too shall pass," or "This is the feeling of my heart healing". I had this one that I would say to myself when I went through a painful breakup: "This feeling of pain is God's hand in my heart". That way, what I was feeling was a reminder that I was not alone. My mantra now is "I have a great ass", meaning, it can and should be something that makes you feel right with yourself. Mantras don't always need to be heavy.


BB: What is the one yoga position you would recommend to someone who's heartbroken?


MI: I think breathing in any pose is good, but Child's Pose is great. It is humble. It is restorative; it calms the nervous system and stretches the back. They say that backbends are heart openers. For me, the last thing I want to do when I am heartbroken is open my heart more! Anything forward-bend is pretty calming. Sometimes though, when there's a lot of anger, Sun Salutes rock. Getting that anger to move OUT.


BB: What have you instructed your clients to do if they've faced heartbreak or emotional setback?


MI: Be grateful. Accept yourself where you are. Learn about what motivates you emotionally. Notice what's good about it, and how present you are. How open you are. Breathe. The first thing I did after my breakup was get to my knees and say: "Thank you. I don't know why yet, but thank you", and I have learned this from my parents' divorce.


BB: What's the biggest benefit someone going through heartbreak will potentially feel from integrating yoga into his or her exercise routine?


MI: Taking a step on the journey towards self-realization is incredibly empowering. The gifts we get as a result of heartbreak are far greater than the love that was lost. It is truly a time of reclaiming the greatest Union of your life. Therefore, incorporating yoga will bring more consciousness to this process - if you allow it.


Mandy Ingber is one of the most popular yoga and fitness instructors in Los Angeles. For over 15 years she has been selling out classes by motivating people through her light-hearted approach and unique teaching style. It is her ability to connect with a wide range of students which makes her accessible to the yoga novice as well as the professional athlete. She is currently touring the U.S. to promote her self-produced yoga-hybrid DVD YOGALOSOPHY, which is available online at MandyIngber.com, Amazon.com and at Willow Spa in Santa Monica.


Mandy has been named "Best of LA" in LA Weekly and Los Angeles Magazine for the motivation, inspiration and the unprecedented popularity of her classes. Ingber has been the headliner for such events as the annual People Magazine A-List Workout and SELF Magazine's 2010 Workout In the Park, and has also been a wellness and inspirational spokesperson for Crystal Light, and a contributing editor to the Health and Beauty blog on Glamnet. Tastemaker in Los Angeles Magazine's Design Book LA, Mandy is featured regularly online and in publications, such as Self, InStyle, Vogue, Los Angeles, LA Weekly, People, Us, Life&Style, Glamour, Talk, Vanity Fair, Elle, and others. She has appeared on E! Daily News, E! Daily 10, Access Hollywood, Good Day L.A., VH1s Hollywood's Tightest Bodies, and Extra.

BounceBack is helping people find happiness after heartbreak from a relationship breakup or divorce. It's a place to tell your story, get advice from experts, and share what you've learned with others in similar situations. Heartbreaks happen to everyone. And we believe everyone has the potential to bounce back to life and move forward. www.bounceback.com


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