By Jennifer Urezzio, Contributor - Spiritual Affairs
It was the day after Christmas. I stopped in the grocery store to pick up some necessities and was confronted with the Season of Love.
Giant pink and red hearts filled the aisle. I was surrounded by heart candies and heart cards and everything one would need to create the Season of Love. And yet, what is truly needed to create love in your life doesn't come in a box, bag or card. It comes from within.
Most relationships fail because we are looking to that individual to complete us, to fill an empty hole that was created by some wound or painful experience. If you are interested in creating a new season of love, a relationship that is based on a solid foundation and in any relationship you are yourself, well here are my suggestions.
Take Time To Feel Complete and Whole
Young girl on a grassThe truth is that you are complete and whole. The truth is that you are perfect just the way you are and in knowing and feeling this you won't try to change yourself or anyone while in a relationship. Here's my suggested exercise (and I will admit it is a tough one).
Look in the mirror each day and state out loud the following, while looking yourself in the eye.
- I am whole and complete
- I am perfect just the way I am
- I am love
- I am loved
- I feel safe giving and receiving love
Notice how you feel during this exercise. Even if it is tough, keep conducting it once a day for 10 days. Then see how you feel on the eleventh day conducting it. I would venture to bet you feel more confident, more loving and more your true self.
How Do You Express Love
Often we are under the impression that our mates and family don't love us because we are expecting the expression of their love to look a certain way. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, has determined that there are five ways people express love (and see Audrey's review of the book here). They are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Your love language might not be the same as your mates. To start communicating with your loved ones with their language of love, first determine your love language and then discover what languages your family and mate speak. You can learn more about Gary's book here. What you will become aware of is how much your family and friends do care and love you.
Trust and Be Vulnerable
How many times have you screamed at a movie screen and said, "Just tell her how you feel"? Most people don't express their feelings or their truth because they feel unsafe being vulnerable. Today is your opportunity to take a chance and trust yourself to pick the right person to be you with. An exercise I always do is this: Ask your body to place you in a feeling and expression of trust and feeling safe being vulnerable.
What you are doing in this exercise is creating a new pattern in your body and you will start attracting circumstances that reflect this feeling of trust and safety in your everyday world.
There just isn't one day to express your love or a season. It is up to you to create each moment of love within yourself.
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